Back in skinny jeans

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit vixens

The Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition (on newsstands now) is the one magazine issue that I most dread, yet secretly can't wait to get my grubby hands on, every year. I get truly twisted when it comes to this issue because on one hand it just reinforces the message that us "real" looking gals just do not stand a smithereen of chance in the beauty game, so don't even try, you are just not enough. I'm not saying that it is for real or SI's intention. I am saying this is what the magazine gets stirring in your emotions. I mean how can you sit on the beach with your man and feel secure in any capacity when you're reading Shape or Vogue magazine, and he's gawking at the SI vixens who are practically naked flaunting their goddess bodies. How can you even put any food in your mouth when Heidi Klum is frolicking in body paint?

On the other hand, I do enjoy looking at the pictures because they are beautifully photographed in exotic places, and it fuels my desire to get back in my skinny jeans. After thumbing through this rag, I head straight for the elliptical and burn off 500 calories. I am not saying this is healthy motivation in any manner, but that's how it works in my world. That damn issue is like kryptonite to my self-esteem. After about a month though, I forget that the Swimsuit issue exists, and I go back to my normal routine of saying my affirmations, doing my Dr. Phil self-esteem builders, and loving my unique beauty.

This year, I have to say that SI did something that took me by surprise and impressed me. On the cover, which is THE most important page of this issue, there are 8 supermodels which included Elle MacPherson, and Rachel Hunter. Now what's cool about this is that these two are considered grannies in supermodel years, and both are mommies of 2 kids each, respectively. Elle, "The Body", will be 43 in March, and Rachel is 36. These two MILFs are pretty damn hot, and Elle makes over 40 just a fucking cool place to be. There is still no way in this reality that any of us mortals could look like Elle and Rachel, but it is wonderful to see that SI included models, ON THE COVER, that represent older women in motherhood. Just because you're over 35 or 40 with kiddies does not mean you can't still work it like a zesty Saturday night merengue.

Source

More on Vanity Fair, Tom Ford issue

Apparently I wasn't the only one who hated this month's Vanity Fair, Tom Ford Hollywood issue. Although snarky (I'm kinda in biatch mood today), this was my favorite comment.

"Scarlett looks like she`s about to have her temperature taken."
(or perhaps get a colonic)

Here's some links to other observations:

Trying weight loss tip from Oprah

Oprah's trainer, Bob Greene, was on last week and he was taking about how to lose those last stubborn pounds. I know for me, I cannot seem to lose the last 10-15 pounds. Those pounds just stick to me like Donald Trump clings to self-promotion. A common issue with all the people he spoke to was that they nibble at night. For Matt and I, that is our numero Uno problemo. I am mostly a night owl, and because of that my eating extends into the later hours. Plus, I have to admit that when I am bored, at night, I will eat to kill time.

One woman I really related to runs like 20 miles a week, and eats healthy, but she just can't seem to get rid of the last 20 pounds. For about 5 years, I would run and run and run in a Forest Gump like manner, and yet to my dismay, the last 10 pounds would just not come off. I think, well I know that one of the reasons I have slacked off on the exercise lately is that I am just tired of exercising, and seeing no results. I have been doing the gym thing for almost 10 years now, and even when I worked with a trainer, and did marathon training, the last 10 pounds would not leave. Lipo was starting to look better and better.

Bob told this woman that he noticed on her filled out profile sheet, that she eats at night. In his wisdom, if you eat after 7:30pm, all those night time calories negate all the hard work you did earlier in the day. When you eat at night, you are not expending any extra energy because you are basically sitting watching TV/reading a book, or sleeping, so the food just sits there. When Bob said it like that, a light switch came on for me. I know it seems like a rather obvious piece of advice, but for some reason listening to Bob got me motivated.

So, Mattie and I set a new rule in our house, and we started on Monday (2/13). There is to be no eating after 8pm. I know Bob said 7:30pm but for us, we have to start out realistically and then work our way up. I mean Matt and I will sometimes snack until we literally get into bed which is usually around midnight-1am. It's been 2 nights so far, and I have lost 1 pound all ready. We're down to 166 now. Whoaaa! I'll keep you posted on our progress.

Code Black: Exploding pants zipper

It's been two days since the 167lb shocker, and I am still pretty calm. Yesterday was a real test though because I had a job interview, and one of my interviewees was the CEO of the company so I decided to wear one of my business suits, or corporate armor as I view them. What I love about working in Silicon Valley is that suits here are like antimatter, no electrical charge. However, when you are in marketing or PR it is good to don a suit once in awhile. Typically to interviews here in SV, I wear a pair of black Banana Republic slacks, and some cute yet simple looking button down shirt or wrap around sweater. I am a huge fan of the wrap around sweater because I can create the illusion that I have a waist. That's a big deal for us gals who have the straight boy figures or have the apple shapes.

Anyway, I haven't worn this suit in probably 2 years, so when I put on the pants terror really did kick in. I could not even suck in my gut enough to get the buttons to even touch each other, and boy did I try with Herculean effort. I even did the laying down on the floor thing to get those suckers buttoned. You know how sometimes you can at least get the top buttons to physically touch each other. No matter what I did I had to just accept the fact that there was about an inch gap and beyond getting instant liposuction there was no way I could button the pants. Arrrgggghh!!! Damn you fat!!

To add to the drama, I was running late, and had no plan B for the clothes, so I had to quickly figure out what to do. I took a quick scan of the closet and there was nothing that was CEO worthy, or didn't require massive ironing, so I HAD to improvise. Fortunately, I was wearing a white top that was a thin flowy cotton and had lots of room to expand, so I tucked that shirt into the pants and zipped up as far as it would comfortably go. I then took the remaining flaps of the top part of the pant and turned them inside the pants to create the illusion that the pants were probably buttoned. I then pulled out the shirt some so that the fabric covered my make shift buttoning. I put the jacket on, and that helped hide the view of the stretched out pleats which were not a pretty sight because my gut looked like it was about to bust out of prison. It wasn't the ideal scenario, but I figured it was good enough to last me the 2 hours I was supposed to be there.

When I got to my interview, the CEO wanted to talk in one of their conference rooms which had a table and chair, and then a little lounge area with a couple couches and a coffee table. Wanting the interview to be more like a comfie chat at Starbucks, he wanted to sit on the couches. A part of me was like this is really cool. He wanted to talk not grill. But the vain part of me was worried that sitting on the couch would make the zipper on my pants just bust open, and then I would have a Code Black on my hands. That's really not good when you are trying to impress a new employer. At least when you are sitting at a table and the Code Black happens, you have something to hide behind, and some time to think about a quick rescue plan from the walk of shame.

Luckily for me, the zipper was strong, and held through over 3 hours of interviewing. I enjoyed talking to these people at this company so much that for most of the time I completely forgot about my ticking zipper. And these people were so cool that if a Code Black actually did occur, later on, we would have something really hysterical to reminisce about...."Remember that time when your zipper busted open during your interview....." 

LOL

Playboy: Girls of MySpace

This one makes me laugh and worried at the same time.

Playboy To Publish Women Of MySpace

Old Hef is gathering a bunch of boobyful MySpace users to pose for a special issue of Playboy. For all those not in the know, Myspace has been in trouble of late from angry and concerned parents about how their young kids are open prey to pedophiles, and general adult creepazoids who hit on underage girls and boys in the Myspace frontier. Police are even looking into a case where a murdered 14 year-old girl met her attacker on MySpace. And, if I'm not mistaken, isn't MySpace primarily most popular with teenagers. Instead of the mall, the kiddies can now hang out in MySpace. If I were MySpace, I would not allow Playboy to use my name because that just adds more fuel to the parent anger and distrust.

So is Hef going to recruit from a bunch of teenagers?? Well of course not because that is illegal, but there is nothing that says he can't get some 18-21 year olds who look like they are 16 to pose. If grown women want to pose naked in a magazine to help their careers, self esteem, or whatever, then that is their right, but I just think that Playboy prospecting for new models in a place that is known mostly as a teenage hangout is just creepy and distasteful. And if I were a parent, I would yank my kid off using a product that associates itself with a nu-die magazine.

And let's not forget the whole body image thing with young girls. It's hard enough being a teenager and just trying to fit in with the pretty people. Having Playboy in your face at your MySpace place just adds to the pressure. I can just see the posts now; "Are you Playboy material?" "Would Playboy pick you?" "Can I see your Playboy spread?" These kinds of things are just bad news for young spirits.

Skinny Love

Today is all about the L-U-V. For all of you with a sweetie this Valentine's, I wish you much celebration. Appreciate your relationship!

For those without a special someone to shower love and gifts upon and to do the same to you, go out with your pals, have a martini, and celebrate your single-hood. Being single can be just as wonderful as being coupled. Wait for the right one, instead of snatching a right now. It was hard, but I did it, and I'm appreciative that I waited.

Happy Cupid's day!

I should be freaking out but I'm not

I haven't stepped on a scale in about 4 months, and so today I decided to jump on and see what I weighed. Admittedly, since I have been dating Matt I have slacked off considerably from my excercise and eating regimes. It's been real bad in the last 6 months. For the last 7 years, I used to excercise at least 4-5 times a week. Now, it's about once a month. I know that I have gained weight since we got together. And yes, I admit that I am suffering from the, "Now that I have a man, I don't have to work as hard on the body." Terrible, I know. Matt is also suffering from the same affliction, so I guess you could say we're currently trapped in that fat and cozy relationship zone that so many couples get in to.

Matt has one of those fancy digital scales where you can program four different profiles of users of the scale. You input your age, height, gender, etc, and then it gives you your weight and calculated body fat%. Other ways to get a better body fat reading include: the skinfold test, waist-to-hip ratio test, or hydrostatic (in water) test.

So, I get on the scale, and it says 167 lbs and 36.7% body fat. Normally, I would start to freak out, but ironically I was calm. I was okay, and not distraught. I am wondering why??? Well one reason, is that I haven't had to buy any newer bigger clothes, and the other month a female acquaintence thought I wore a size 8. I was shocked and flattered. I'm getting to the point, I think, where if I look thinner, then why should I care what the scale says. I have always had a weird body shape that does not reflect my true scale weight.

The last time I weighed this much was when I was a college sophomore, and was trying to eat my depression away. I got up to 173 pounds, and size 14's were snug on me. Mostly I  wore pants with elastic band because jeans made me feel constricted, and I refused to wear a size 16. After I took a shower, did my hair and makeup, and got dressed, I went to Matt's office (he's working at home today) and asked him what he thought I weighed. Now, let me preface and say that I told him to be totally honest, and that I wouldn't be offended. I just wanted to get his perspective on what he thought I weighed. Of course he's my BF and is still going to weigh in, so to speak, on the lighter side, so I figured he'd come in about 5-10 pounds below the 167.

Matt looked at me, and he said, " You weigh between 125-130lbs."
I said, "Seriously! That is your for real answer. I told you I won't be offended, so tell me what you really think." In my head, I was thinking how much I love this man ;-)
He said, "Well, you can't weigh more than 140."
I pointed my thumb up.
He replied with a look of confusion, "150?"
Still pointing the thumb up.
"You weigh more than 150!?" He retorted, with a look that honestly looked surprised.
"According to your scale in the bathroom, I weigh 167."
There was brief silence, and Matt just stared at me a moment.

"Well, you have a lot of muscle, so you're going to be on the heavier side because muscle weighs more than fat."
He started squeezing my gut and continued on, "You and I have the same problem with storing fat in our tummy area. But, as long as you have more muscle, you're going to look thinner overall."

Then, Matt wanted my perspective and asked, "So, how much do you think I weigh, and let me tell you that I will be offended if the number is too high." Sheepishly joking, I knew that he really would be offended. So I deflected my answer by saying that men are by nature designed to carry more muscle than women so their weight is supposed to be higher.
Matt just gave me that glance that said, "I know you are just tap dancing around your real answer." Which, he was absolutely right about ;-)

Great weekend with the triplets

So this weekend with my triplet nieces was absolutely wonderful. The living room of their hous is one huge nursery room. All over the palce are bottles, diapers, binkies, blankies, Baby Einstein toys, and of course the doggies and kitty. If I didn't mention it, along with the triplet girls, there are 3 small dogs and a cat, which by the way are all female as well. My brother is in a house with 8 females. Poor guy. Lucky guy.

Their house is kind of small, but  they are moving to a new home in about 2 months, so there will be plenty of room for everyone. When I first walked in the house, Riley was asleep, and Alyssa was being fed dinner. Makena was laying on the changing table getting ready for a fresh new diaper so I went to her first. As soon as I looked into her eyes, she gave me the biggest smile, and started giggling. I cannot even begin to tell you the wave of love and joy that came over me. At that moment, all I could feel was bliss; pure, untainted, bliss.

Riley soon woke up and I picked her up. She was still groggy from her nap, but again, I got another huge smile and giggle from her. Man, Auntie Steph was on a roll in 7th heaven. After eating, Alyssa let out a huge belch. I didn't know that a baby could burp that loud. She definitely inherited that skill from her dad.

My sister-in-law went to go to a party at her step-sister's house, and she spent the night so she could get a good night's sleep and be around adults. It was a fun break for her, and a real bonding moment for my brother and I because he and I were alone with the girls. I still am getting over the shock that my baby brother is a father. He's a bit overwhelmed at the moment with all the change, but I think he will do just fine as a father. Since he's in his mid-30's, I think he is better equipped mentally, and emotionally to deal with the triplets. If he had these girls in his 20's, it would be a totally different story.

The next morning our folks came to help babysit. You could tell that my parents couldn't wait to be with the girls.They are soooooooooo excited to be Grandma and Grandpa. It was wonderful, and again it was more bliss for me to be in a house where our immediate family is now 3 generations. My maternal grandparents are still alive, so when the girls are strong enough, they will get to go visit great-grandma and pa. That is definitely going to be a Kodak moment.

I have some pics which I will post as soon as my dad emails them to me. It might be a day or two because dad is not too savvy with the email yet. I teach and he tries ;-)

Ken is back to win Barbie

I don't know if any of you knew this, but a while back, Mattel announced that Barbie and Ken were going their separate ways. After all they had been together for over 40 years, and never dated other people, so now Barbie wanted her space to go pursue "other interests." My Barbie was never faithful to Ken. In fact, back in the day, she had a torrid affair with GI Joe, and then got caught up in a love triangle with Steve Austin, the $6 million dollar man. Jamie Somers was very jealous, and although she had bionic body parts, she wasn't stacked like our tartlet Barbie.

Well, it seems that we the buying audience just don't like Ken and Barbie apart, because Mattel has experienced sagging sales of late, and they blame it on dipping Barbie sales. And so, the big solution is to bring back a new and improved Ken to get back on with Barbie.. (Note: The dream of being back in the skinny jeans also works with men even if they are toys.)

In a release by Mattel:

"Ken has revamped his life -- mind, body and soul," Hollywood stylist and Mattel consultant Phillip Bloch said in a statement. "Everyone knows how difficult it is to change, especially when you've lived your life a certain way for more than four decades."

Ken, who appears to have spent time in the gym and at the stylist, returns wearing a beach-wear ensemble complete with board shorts and white T-shirt.

At a press conference unveiling Ken, Bloch said the company was going for a "worldly, European thing," and "definitely wanted to be looking hot."

Sounds like no man, even a plastic toy, is out of the reach of the powerful Queer Eye for the Straight Guy influence. Ken is getting in touch with his Metro-ness. I'm almost thinking that if the Barbie thing doesn't work out that Ken could switch hit and go after GI Joe or perhaps a Super hero or Jedi knight. Do we have here a Brokeback Malibu in the making?? I'd be okay with that ;-)

Source

Skinny onesies

Today, I'm going to lay off talking about skinny jeans because I am going to go visit my nieces/goddaughters and babysit. (They are triplets)  The girls live 3 hours away from me, so going there is a hike. The last time I saw my nieces was when they were still in the hospital. They were born 3 months premature at week 26, and were all under 1lb. 11oz. The smallest one was 1lb.6oz. I am happy to report that after 5-1/2 months the girls are doing good. Makena is still on oxygen, but should be off in the next month.

My little nieces are fighters. I first saw them when they were 2 days old. My mom was really worried that they wouldn't make it, but somehow, although they didn't look to well at the time, I knew deep inside that all three are here to stay. Call it a gut instinct. Here's a picture of them together. They kind of look like drunk sailors here, but they are just so yummy. I love my nieces very much! Please say hi to Makena, Alyssa, and Riley ;-)