Back in skinny jeans

Manthem, "I am man"

Have you seen the commercial for Burger King's new Texas Double Burger? Oh my goodness, it is hilarious! My iced tea came flying out my nose. They used the Helen Reddy song "I am woman" and changed the lyrics to reflect a man's need for food more substantial than chick food like salads and quiche.

The commercial is not sexist or condescending in any way. In fact, it makes a statement that everyone is not obsessed with calories and nibbling, even if it is just guys. It was refreshing. Food is about enjoyment, and once in awhile having a Whopper burger is pleasurable. For men, it gives them a chance to sink their teeth into something besides rabbit food.

One of the lines in the song as a streetful of guys parade the street holding the Texas whopper goes, "I will eat this meat until my inny turns into an outy." Guys want to eat big meat, and that's okay. Good for you!

Host a "Back In Skinny Jeans" party

Here's a super creative registry idea from the genius of Carolyn at Whirled Events, "Redefining the art of gift giving." If you are at a loss for how to pick the right gift, need ideas to spur your imagination, or just want some great advice on gift giving, go visit Carolyn. On top of that, she is a really cool person ;-)

Carolyn's post on "Creating your own registry," talks about creating a registry for events outside of baby showers or engagement parties inspired by Sex and the City, and Oprah. As I sit here and think about it, Yeah! Why should brides-to-be, new home buyers, and mommies-to-be, be the only ones to get cool gifts outside of Christmas and birthdays.

Carolyn has some sophisticated ideas. I'll throw in my 2 cent registry party ideas:
- Finally free from the jerk or biatch
- Celebrating my new puppie or kitty (Post announcement on Dogster or Catster)
- Finally left corpse-rate America to pursue my dream

Life is about celebration, and you don't need to wait until you are coupled up or in the family way in order to celebrate equally significant life events. Go have some fun!

L'Oreal rocks with Annie Hall

This is totally cool. L'Oreal has signed actress Diane Keaton to be their new spokesperson for their L'Oreal Paris' Age Perfect Pro-Calcium Restorative Hydrating Cream and Age Perfect Skin Supporting & Hydrating Makeup.

Carol J. Hamilton, president of the L'Oreal Paris division of L'Oreal USA Inc., said in a statement:

"She's a natural beauty. Nothing artificial. And she's comfortable with who she is."

I just love Diane Keaton. This hot babe is 60 years young. Hooray for L'Oreal, and hoorah for the rest of us who get to see examples of older women celebrated in high fashion.

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Grey's Anatomy disillusion

If you TIVO'd Grey's and haven't watched it yet, stop reading now.

I just need to rant. I need to vent because the season finale was jacked up. Frankly, it was jacked up. Three hours of Grey's Anatomy in two nights normally gets my adrenalin going, and the first hour was riveting with all the shooting, but I don't know about anyone else, the last 2 hours were just, well, disappointing. No, sad. Well, no, evident.

First, Izzie was playing God in an effort to save Denny save her agenda. The second anyone starts to play God and manipulate the process purposefully, nothing but no good will result whether now or later. Because of her God-like tactics, not only does she steal a heart from a family man of 2 kids, but Burke gets shot and may never be able to operate again. He only came back to Seattle Grace because he sensed that Izzie was up to no good.

Let's be real, Izzie didn't really love Denny. I think she was really in love with being loved. She doesn't want to be alone. She finally meets a guy who loves her not just because she's a pretty girl with Blondie hair and big boobs. Here's a guy who is dying, and all she can think about is what she is going to lose, the pain she is going to suffer, and the loneliness she is going to feel.

The whole time, I was waiting for Izzie to actually ask Denny what he wanted. What would make HIM feel good? What would make HIM feel at peace? Afterall, he's the dying one. I was also waiting for her proclamation of love to Denny. The only reason Denny agreed to the whole hair brain scheme was because he couldn't stand to see Izzie so despondent. He really did love her because his focus was truly on her, and not himself.

At Denny's deathbed, the one person who blew me away was Karev. Man, for a complete asshole, that guy sure came through with the most touching consolation. I was really starting to hate Karev, but he did good 180 degrees.

I still can't figure what Burke sees in Christina, and after her aloof stunt in the O.R., I am surprised he didn't kick her to the curb. Yang really can't deal with vulnerability and weakness. It was ironic to see her cry in front of the Chief.

And speaking of the chief, Meredith finally confronts the chief about the affair he had with her mother, and then that was it. The chief's wife also unleashes on him about his infidelity, and all he has to do is throw a prom in the hospital for his dying niece, and all is fine. This is just bullshit.

All the interns sticking together to keep Izzie from being fired was really dumb. It was just dumb. Izzie didn't make a mistake accidentally, she did it on purpose. She purposely broke the laws and the code of ethics. I'm all for loyalty for the team, but in this case, it was just ridiculous. Izzie wanted to confess, so let the bitch confess.

And lastly, Meredith and Derek do "it" at the "prom". Here is a sweet veterinarian finally moving  on from his dead wife, proclaiming his "plans" with Meredith, and Addison, a patient wife who lets her husband be friends with the woman he confessed to falling in love with. Addison should have packed her bags and left with McSteamy. Derek is a serious weakling. Great surgeon perhaps, but a sissy of a man. That whole cheating thing just made me want to throw up my Thai chicken noodles.

I was really sad to see Denny die. I really did like him. Worse is that he died alone. Finn is a sweet guy, and I was really sad to see him get screwed by Meredith (although he doesn't know it yet) after he opened his heart to her. I was also sad to see Burke have to go through that traumatic event alone. When he asked Christina to help him decide what to do, she walked out on him. I cried. He is a good decent man who needed love and help from his woman, and what she did was just cruel. I'm glad at the end that she came to his room and grabbed his hand, but still.

Am I looking forward to next season? Yes, because I dig George, Burke, Addison, and Miranda. Karev redeemed himself. As for the others, I could really care less. Honestly, I'm not going to miss Izzie. Christina is a toss up, and Meredith is not even interesting. We'll see. Adios for now.

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Ode to momma

I hope that all of you had a wonderful day with your momma on Mother’s day. Here in the Bay Area the weather was perfect, and the malls were packed Saturday night with last minute gift buying or shopping sprees for mom. For an interesting tidbit, according to the National Retail Federation, Americans were projected to spend $14.8 billion for Mother’s day gifts like: jewelry, flowers, cards, fashion, perfume, eating out, and spa trips.

My mom loves pictures. She has shoeboxes of photos going back to the 60’s, and she has photo albums stacked to the ceiling. No kidding. At every event, she has her camera, and she tells everyone to scooch together so she can get a shot for “memories.” This year is also my mom’s first as a grandma, so for her gift, I got two picture frames which she could put at her nightstand. One of the frames said “grandkids” and I put in pics of the triplets. The other frame I left blank for her to insert her own photos. She LOVED the gift. Being a grandma is a HUGE deal for my mom, and she spent about an hour holding on to the grandkids frame, looking at it periodically, and then beaming with a grand smile. The look of bliss on her face when she thinks of her grand-daughters is priceless, and it fills my heart every time I get a chance to see her like this.

My mom is an exceptional mother. She is a mom’s mom, and mother’s everyone, not in a pushy, nosey way, but in a caring, loving way that makes you feel like you are cared for. Matt loves the fact that every time we go to my folks house, mom has some goodies for us to take home like food, toilet paper, or socks. It’s funny because some of the stuff is totally random. Food and household stuff makes sense, but then she’ll throw in something totally unexpected like a toy Ferrari she got in Vegas last year, a pad of paper, a pot for cooking, or a pottery figurine of a ballerina. I never need any of this stuff, but most times I take it anyway because it’s so sweet. I love my mom completely, and I can’t imagine having anyone other than her as my momma.

Bitch, get away from me

Feeling kind of mischievous today. While perusing my celeb gossip, I came across this funny thing over at Ted Casablanca's Awful Truth at E Online. People, if you love delicious celeb gossip, Ted's place is a must.

Anyway, right under Jennifer Aniston's mug was an advertisement for a CNN special, "Chasing Angelina." You know the ads rotate and are random depending on the ad feeds for the day, but the universe played some twisted bit of coincidence with this one. I just had to grab the screen and share. Bad me.

Skinny mirrors at coutre publisher?

Here's a fascinating conspiracy tidbit from a new employee at Conde Nast, publisher of the glam rags like W, Vogue, Jane, Vanity Fair, Allure, and Glamour.

Keep the vanity pumping through the veins.

Update: More on the conspiracy here.

Googlers eat real good

The Googleplex (the affectionate name for the Google campus in Silicon Valley) has some of the best cafeterias to feed it's hungry crew. I personally haven't eaten there (yet) but I have friends who have. One thing that did impress me though was Google's philosophy on food. Feed your employees good, healthy food and they will be healthier and happier. And because everyone is maintaining good health, there will be less sick days, and lower medical bills. Google management understands how powerful food is, and they show that they care about the physical well being of their people. Very simple.

Recently, Google opened a new cafeteria/restaurant called Cafe 150. Chef Nate Keller is a big fan of organics and sustainability, and Cafe 150 is:

"The newest and bravest frontier of fine dining, where the Bay Area culinary trinity of sustainable/local/organic has passed to the corporate cafeteria."

The "150" in the name came from the fact that Chef Nate will only use ingredients that are grown in a 150-mile radius of Google. The Bay Area has some of the best farmer's markets around because we are surrounded by a bounty of fruits and vegetables. I can't wait for my invite to eat at the Googleplex.

For those of you who have worked at start-ups or corporate companies with big cafeterias, you know that the food in many times is fattening, processed, and basically cheap. At one start-up I worked at, the break rooms looked like a 7-Eleven filled with Cheetos, Ding Dongs, Goobers, and Jolt. We had pizza, Noah's bagels and Krispy Kremes every other day. You could drink all the soda you could imagine. Everyone at our company gained 10-15 pounds on average in the first 6 months of their employment.

Some will say that Google is swimming in money so they afford to be so frou-frou with their free-range chicken, and mango chutney tofu. However, if you really think about it, saving money by buying cheap food for your employees could increase other costs like health insurance and sick time. Did you see Supersize me? Food is medicine, and if employees eat well, meaning healthfully, your company is helping itself by making sure it's contributing to the good health of it's staff.

Be gone muffin top

I am done with the muffin top. It has got to go!

What the heck am I talking about you ask? Muffin top is the roll of fat that oozes over the top of your jeans (or pants) because your jeans waistband is smaller than your waist, thus the spillage. Typically, muffin top is more of a problem for Apples than Pear shapes. Now the obvious solution would be to get bigger jeans. Hell no! I've gone up one size already, and I refuse to go up a second size. I JUST don't want to do it.

If you keep buying bigger sizes than you just keeping growing into them. The last straw was this weekend when I tried on 5 pairs of jeans that ended up being snug on me. The last pair gave me serious muffin top, and I cried. I think the jeans were mislabeled because it really was much smaller than it should have been. But nonetheless, the damage was done. The image of my gut hanging all over the place just did me in. I DON'T want to live like this anymore.

So, I've embarked on a muffin top demolition journey. I started this Monday (big surprise. every "program" starts on Monday), and to help me along, I created another blog called, "Be Gone Muffin Top: *love handles and i are breaking up." Everyday, I'm just going to gab about what I'm doing (or not doing) to be gone with the muffin top. The title I came up with was also a reflection of adding humor to an otherwise challenging, and un-fun process. No one, and I mean no one, likes to be on a "weight loss" plan.

Although related topics, I separated the blogs out because I wanted to keep Back in Skinny jeans about general issues with some of my private life in it. Be Gone with muffin top is all about me and my personal journey. In this blog, I sware, cuss, and plunk down the 411 of my exercise, eating, and body measurements. Some stuff is somewhat embarrassing but, it will help keep me real, if others are watching. So, come join the fun if you are on a similar journey.

Girlie usernames get hit on more

susibaker06: i like to replace sour cream with non-fat yogurt in my recipe.

bistrodude: you sound hot. wanna hook up?

Sometimes being in a chat room is much worse than being in a bar and every woman who has been online knows this. You could be talking about world peace or the long bill platypus, but all the boy chatters get is "girl. want girl. want some girl." Because chat rooms are anonymous, chatters are often less inhibited which is why guys tend to shed the shyness and get more aggressive online. It's also much faster and easier to play the numbers. Eventually, some girl chatter will take up on the cheesy pick up.

So, yesterday, the University of Maryland's A. James Clark School of Engineering, came out with a study which concluded that female user names in chat rooms got hit on 25 times more then male or ambiguous user names. During the study, while trolling the chat rooms, the female user names also got on average 163 tasteless private messages a day. So, what's the shocker?

These results are no big surprise to me. You don't need some fancy study to tell you that girls get hit on A LOT online, and that most of it is nasty, forward, or just mean. Socializing on the Internet is a very different experience for women as it is for men. Ask any woman who has spent time in chat rooms, forums, online dating services, and social sites like MySpace. The amazing part is that even without any visuals like pictures or videos, you'll still get hot on because your user name and tone of writing smells like girl.

I'd like to see a study that focuses on what women as a whole, companies, and/or groups are doing to make the Internet safer for young girls and women in general. Or, how about a study on male online behavior. Not, where they spend their time, but on how they behave socially online. How often do they hit on women? What factors drive them to act nasty online? In the guy's opinion, advice they would give to women about how to make themselves safer or less of a target online. Info like that would be revealing.