Spoiler if you haven't seen this week's Nip/Tuck. Cliff Notes for those who want to know what happened but don't want to suffer thru watch the whole episode:
- Little Annie tapes her fingers together and cuts off the middle fingers of all her pretty dolls so she can feel what it will be like for her new baby brother, Connor, malformed with lobster claw syndrome. Shawn goes postal on little Annie and Julia goes Mommie Dearest and yells, "No deformed dolls!"
- Shawn, feeling helpless about his malformed fetus, does pro bono surgery on Alex, the local Starbucks barista who has a facial deformity, secretly hoping that if he can fix Alex he can fix Connor. Turns out he can't fix Alex because his bones are too old, but it gives Shawn the idea to operate on Connor before
Shawn has to deal with the embarrassmentthe kid understands pain and humiliation. - Father Ralph De Bricassart finally comes out of the Thorn Birds closet to take his newest boy toy to McNamara/Troy so that he can Liberace the young lad, who was once married but the gay priest helped him discover who he "really" is.
- Christen, in an effort to distinguish his own homophobic love for Shawn, takes pretty boy toy to a strip joint to meet stripper Blue Mondae (with an e not a y) who ironically hates her natural double Ds because it's preventing her from becoming a Mary Kay rep. Christen's hope is that the "confused" lad can snap out of Father Ralph's homo hold and remember the joys of setting his one eyed snake free down the va-jay-jay tunnel.
- Father Ralph discovers boy toys betrayal and Megs his ass. Boy toy runs to Christen for help, and when Christen gives him $500, boy toy is willing to "work" for his pay by getting down on his knees to pray to Christen's one-eyed Willie. Christen so disgusted, yet secretly thrilled, Fight Clubs boy toy, and tells him to "get out!" when really you know he wants him to come back.
- On a side bar, the Rich and Famous, Thief Who Came to Dinner, is a mysterious lesbian blackmailing JR Ewing's wife, Michelle, who now runs McNamara/Troy. Liz, a debonair lesbian herself, catches Michelle and Countess Andrenyi playing tongue hockey in the parking garage.
- And lastly, young Matt falls into the evil clutches of Tom Cruise crazy couch jumping Scientology through Christen's former porn star fiance Kimber. Oh yeah! You see Brooke Shields was just on last week playing a psychiatrist of all things, so of course Nip/Tuck just HAD to go there with the Scientology, "It's a religion" train wreck.
So juicy. I can't wait til next week.
