A long time ago I saw a tagline in an ad that said, “Scars
make better tattoos.” The ad was for some sporting wear company like Adidas or
Nike, and their point was that every scar, like a tattoo, comes with an
interesting story. In the context of sports, the scar is a badge of honor of how that athlete hurt themselves during training, a race, or a
game. The scar also serves a purpose in showing us lessons we have learned, and
showing us our experience in life thus building our character.
Now, not all of us are athletes, but if you look at all the scars on your body, I bet you learned something after getting it. Many of us wish that scar would just go away because it looks ugly. It takes away from our perfect skin and body. It is an eye sore. But, what if you changed your perspective about that scar and looked at it as something that helped you grow as a person, which shows how you overcame an adverse situation like cancer or heart surgery, or how you gave birth and brought another human being into this world.
The way to start loving your body is by starting to
appreciate the magnifigance that it is. (continued...)
Look at your body in the mirror with
loving eyes. For a moment, give the judgmental voices in your head the day off.
They have been busy for years, and everyone needs a vacation. Let the positive
voices have their turn, and let them dominate for the moment.
For a very long time, I could not look at my own body naked
in front of a mirror. Oh no! The second I would try and do something like that,
feelings of disgust, shame, embarrassment, horror would arise. Sounds really
harsh don’t it? But, when you are someone who has had an eating disorder, are a
perfectionist, or has had some kind of body image distortion, you are
incredibly hard and mean to yourself. You can be unrelenting and unforgiving of
yourself. The things I would say about myself (in my head) are things that I
would never ever say to a friend or loved one because it would hurt them
deeply.
So over time, I realized that if I wouldn’t hurt a loved one
like that, why am I doing it to myself? Aren’t I a loved one too? It sounds
hypocritical to not hurt someone else but be okay hurting myself. So, I began
stopping the incessant body bashing. As well, how can any man love me in a
healthy way if I can’t love myself. No man can love you enough to overcome your
own sense of un-love for yourself. It doesn’t work that way in healthy
relationships.
Am I completely free of the body bashing? No. But, I hope to be one day. Now, I am far kinder and far more gentle to myself. Today, I can stand in front of my bathroom mirror and look at my naked body and appreciate it. I can look at my gut, the stretch marks, the uneven skin tone, and the scars on my knees from falling down and tripping during runs training for a marathon, and be okay. I don’t see my body as full of imperfections any more. I see my body as full of character and life lessons.
CREDIT: The photograph is the art of Emily Sterne. Check out her photoblog ...amid the noise and haste. When I asked Emily if I could use her photo for this story, this was her response:
"I would be honored for you use my photo on your site. It's a self portrait, which I mention only because I think it makes the photo even more appropriate for your topic. In deciding to post that shot I did go back and forth with my inner 'committee,' the one that would never allow such unapologetic self-exposure. In the end the artist in me won out and I am not sorry."
Bravo Emily! Thank you for sharing your exquisiteness with us all.
