The heartbreaker ex called you out of the blue, and you’ve agreed to meet him at Starbucks for a latte to catch up for “old time’s sake”. He suggested Happy Hour, but oh no, you want to keep alcohol out of the picture. Besides, it’s not a date. It’s simply a satisfaction of morbid wonder. You also decide to look at this as a gift. The universe is giving you an opportunity to get any lingering things off your chest to heal anything that may still need healing.
But before you go, you tell your new sweetheart about Mr. Ex and that you are going to meet him because you need some completion. For a brief moment, a millisecond, you contemplated not telling your sweetie about your meeting or that you even spoke with Mr. Ex, but you decided, no. You made a decision 2 years ago to live a life of authenticity and honesty. You wanted more intimacy and trust in your relationships so that means you must behave the way you want to be treated.
You’ve got some knots in your tummy, but you tell your sweetie about Mr. Ex and that you are going to meet him for a Carmel Macchiato because you need closure. Surprisingly, your sweetie is understanding and supportive. He even gives you tips on how to not get too emotionally wrapped up in the drama again. “Just treat him like an old friend from school.” Wow! You’re sitting on the other side of the couch gazing at your sweetie in awe as he demonstrates why you fell madly in love with him.
This is what it’s like to be in a healthy and mutually respectful relationship. Any knot you had in your stomach is gone now, and any romantic notion about long lost love you had about Mr. Ex has flown out the window because in the three years you were with Mr. Ex, you never once had a moment of intimacy and trust like you just had this second with your sweetie. You got this lucky because you earned it, and because you decided to stop playing the games yourself.
Moment of truth arrives and you’re face to face with Mr. Ex at Starbucks. He has a huge smile on his face. It’s that same smile with the one dimple that used to make you swoon. Now, that face is 10 years older with a goatee and some pepper grey around the temples. He’s wearing a white t-shirt, jeans, boots, and a black leather jacket. He actually looks pretty hot, and other women in the Starbucks are checking him out. Ten years ago you would have sat proud with great enthusiasm, “Yeah, he’s with me!” Today, you’re like, eh. “You can have him but his wife might not like it.” You smirk to yourself.
Time may have passed but his moves haven’t. He leans in and tries to throw that unique Southern charm of his your way. It’s not working, and he notices it. You ask him why he called, and he says, “I missed you.” Oh shit. Here it comes. He says, “I think about you, and wonder what is going on with you. I just wanted to see you and see how your life is going.”
And there it is. He just wanted to know how you were doing. But you don’t really buy it.
You ask him if his wife knows that he’s meeting you, and of course she doesn’t. He says that his life is his own. She knows that he is out having dinner with “a friend.” But no mind, you actually don’t care what this woman feels because she was the one he cheated on you with. She went after him even though she knew he was taken. She met you at the office Christmas party, and socialized with her significant other at the time in the same circles. You found out that he was cheating on you because you saw her at his house when you decided to show up at his place unexpectedly. Then you find out that he took her out with your friends before he broke up with you. Everyone knew you were dumped before you did.
Worse, she wasn’t just an affair, he ended up marrying her. That tormented you for years. Why did he marry her and not you? It doesn’t matter that he was a slime bucket, and that you never could imagine a future with him. You just want to know what was wrong with you. You’re the one who’s supposed to do the rejecting, not him. That’s how it works in the fairytales.
The hard part is that you two were part of a close group of college friends. You two were like Ross and Rachel. Everyone was friends with both of you, and they all agreed that what Mr. Ex did was wrong, but he’s their friend too. The friends are torn. As the years go by, the friends keep in touch with each other but it’s never the same. Mr. Ex even has the balls to apologize to you not once but several times over the years. This helps you heal, and there should have been complete closure, but when he calls after 10 years something opens again.
You both are sipping on your coffees, laughing, and catching up on what has happened to each of you. It actually feels like it was when you were close friends before the dating part ruined it. You tell your story and he tells his. He has a daughter now, and you think how ironic. He’s still married to the cactus, as you called her, but now he’s unhappy and is truly having a mid-life crisis. He’s even told you that he’s cheated on her with 22 year-olds he’s met online. Of course, they are nothing serious, it’s just for fun. Unbelievable!
But surprisingly, you’re not mad. You’re not pissed, disgusted, or even happy that the cactus now gets what she did to you. You feel nothing. In front of you is just another guy who has no respect for commitment, vows, or other people’s feelings. It’s about him. It’s always been about him, and that still hasn’t changed. He is what he is, and that’s all there is to it. Why waste emotion and energy on someone who’s being himself? He has his life, and you have a better one with your sweetie. All you can think now is that you can’t wait to get back home to him. You two have a good life together, and that is what matters.
And now it's done You are satisfied and still. It’s finally THE END.