My face was puffy again most of yesterday because of spontaneous crying bursts which I suppose is expected in week 1 of breaking up. One minute you're fine, the next second you're wiping the smeared mascara off your face. I pretty much have given up on my usual make-up routine because it just gets washed away from the tears almost as soon as I put the stuff on.
However, the crying spells were not all sad ones about Matt, no, they were tears of amazement and a deep sense of gratitude to everyone who wrote me comments and private emails sending hugs, laughter, support, and stories of their own break-up experiences. The break-up post was so arousing that many of our "lurker" readers came out of the woodwork to say something. I thank you, and am heartened to know that I am helping many of you as that is what I always try to achieve here at BISJ. I guess it's time for me to get some help, and I am overwhelmed by the return of understanding and comfort...Okay, see I'm starting to well-up again.
...We are all connected by spirit which creates commonality ...
All of this amazing response got me thinking about just how connected people are no matter if we know each other personally or not. The blogosphere is filled with an amazing sense of community, and if someone has an experience that others can relate to, well, just watch the conversation and support going. Like many who blog or live online, I have made some pretty cool friends whom I have never met in the flesh. We chat on email, exchange links, IM, and even talk on the phone. But, can you develop a truly real or meaningful or authentic relationship with someone you've never met in person? I say, absolutely!
We are all connected by spirit which creates commonality. As an example, Back in Skinny Jeans has become popular because so many women can relate to having a pair of skinny jeans just sitting in her closet that she can't part with because dammit! one day, "I will be skinny and wear these jeans again. Just you watch!" It's the dream we can't let go of, not the actual pants, and many of us share that dream.
As with breaking-up, everyone, and I mean everyone has a break-up story and experience of their own to share. This is one reason I think women have a healthier time in healing from a break-up than men because we share our story and our emotions more openly with other people. We almost talk our feelings to death, but in the end what we are doing is experiencing the feelings so they can move on. I'm so appreciative to hear so many people tell me to feel all the hurt, angry, and disappointing feelings that come with parting with a love. Karate kicking the punching bag til I can't breathe counts in that too, eh?
It's painful now, but in the long run, I know the pain will come to resolution much faster if I let my feelings come out as they are instead of heading to that box of Ding Dongs for foodatherapy. Although, you gotta admit that 7-Eleven doesn't look so bad during a break-up. Getting a blue tongue from that Slurpee has gotta help put a smile on your puffy, "blood vessels in the eye popped cuz I cried too hard" noggin.
Today, I start moving into my new apartment, and Matt is helping. Well see how that goes. *sob*