I loved Thandie Newton's stint as the love interest of Dr. John Carter on ER. For the September issue of UK's Easy Living magazine, British-born Thandie shares with us her battle with the eating disorder bulimia. She shares:
"I had terrible bulimia for about a year. I've still got the scars on my knuckles from where I put my fingers down my throat."
Bulimia started for Thandie in her early 20's as a result of being obsessed about her weight starting when she was 14 training for ballet, and from a series of abusive relationships. Thandie describes a couple of those relationships:
"I'd been involved with this guy for a long time, he was much older than me and I felt a lot of shame about my sexual relationship with him. I would have these dinners with him and then go back to the flat and I'd throw up. Then I went out with someone who was emotionally abusive, criticizing me the whole time."
Listening to Thandie is like listening to myself. How many of us punished ourselves through our bodies because we didn't feel good enough for some guy who really was a loser, but we were too insecure to see that? We believed that if we stayed thin, we'd be prettier and perfect thus making us good enough for the loser guy who's love and acceptance we wanted so desperately. Instead of getting the love we wanted, we ended up with scars, physically and emotionally.
On the upside, in time, if we chose to heal and seek our own love and acceptance, the emotional scars will fade away despite the physical reminders.
[via People]
