The one thing that I have always failed at whenever I have tried to drop weight is using "willpower." Many diets and weight loss programs quite often bombard us with the message that we need the pure brute force of our will to make ourselves pass up those french fries, and go cold turkey from carbs. And if we slip and go back to our old eating and lack of exercising habits, it is because we somehow lack the strength and are weak in constitution. We are somehow not disciplined enough to make the changes we need to in order to reach our healthy weight goals.
Well, honestly, I think that is crap. In fact, I believe you don't need willpower at all. What has worked for me in the weight shedding battle is using focus instead of willpower. I found that there is a difference between willpower and focus, and this is where they differ...
Willpower is about constraints and control over one's impulses and behaviors. Willpower requires you to "force" yourself to do something. You have to coerce yourself into making the changes because the mentality behind willpower is "this way or the highway." No one ever makes long lasting changes if they feel "forced to."
With focus, you are clear, very clear, about what you want and you will do what it takes to achieve that goal, but you are doing what you need to out of desire, not because you're being forced to by your own will. With focus, you have choices. For example, saying it's 10pm and you are craving a bowl of Cookies & Cream ice cream. Now, willpower will dictate that you must make yourself pass on your craving. You have to "control" your craving. Now, how many people ever win a war against their cravings? You may win a battle here and there, but you never win the war.
When looking at the Cookies & Cream craving at 10pm through focus, you can give yourself a choice and ask yourself, "Will eating this ice cream right now help me or distract me from reaching my healthy weight goal?" If your focus is to achieve that 20lb weight loss by Spring, then it makes no sense to eat that ice cream right now because it's late and the food will just sit in your stomach. As well, it will require that you work extra hard at the gym to work it off and do you really want to do that? If you just have to have the ice cream, it would be better to eat the ice cream tomorrow earlier in the day, so at least you have time to burn it off. But see, focus gives you options versus orders.
Now some will ask, "Doesn't it take willpower to stay focused?" I
say no. What it takes to stay focused is heart, a burning desire to
achieve what your heart desires. Think about the last time you wanted
something badly and got it. Did you let anything get in your way or
stop you? Did you have to force yourself to take action? No, you kept
going until you got what you wanted because it was your burning desire
that drove you.
If your eye is focused on your target, then all your choices are out of "want" to achieve that goal in the best way versus having to make choices based on forcing yourself to control yourself via willpower. The next time you find yourself up against a food craving or a desire to skip out on a workout for the day, try using focus versus willpower to keep you on track to reaching your goals.
