A 200-word review of Vogue's April "Shape Issue"

The April issue of Vogue, on stands now, is their "Shape Issue" featuring cover dream team Gisele Bundchen and LeBron James. FYI, LeBron is only the 3rd man in Vogue history to be on the cover joining George Clooney and Richard Gere. Notice how men are always fully clothed on the women's magazines unlike what GQ did with Adriana Lima.

Before spending your coinage for 100 pages of ads plus some articles, here's my 200-word review of the Vogue "Shape Issue":

• Vogue’s idea of 5 different body types: tall-skinny, pregnant-skinny, waif-skinny, short-skinny, and curvy is a size 6.

• Exercise fiend quits the gym for 6-weeks, loses 3 lbs. and then goes back to her voracious ways.

• Vogue puts 2 perfectly happy sister designers on a diet and exercise plan because heaven forbid we have a couple of zaftigs designing dresses for Keira Knightley.

• You’re obese because of your genes.

• Vogue is happy to point out that they are blameless in contributing to the $40 billion Americans spend a year trying to diet back into their skinny jeans. (p. 362 they put it in the back so maybe no one notices.)

• If you read magazines on the elliptical, you’ll never get skinny.

• Secrets of the best bodies: Men workout and eat. Women have skinny genes.

• Vogue smokes their own crack, “Fashion is not a size, not a number on a scale, never a tape measure. It’s about the only possible perfect…the perfect you.”

• Let’s throw in some female Olympic athletes to say we actually had women with muscle, and Jill Scott to say we did have someone a size 16 but mostly we’ll talk about her shiny purses.