A little while ago on Donny Deutsch and The Big Idea, Donny profiled some company called Booty Pop. Yes, Booty Pop, undies that make your booty "Pop!" Yes, it's real, and I can't believe he wasn't laughing his ass off.
Since I had Buns on the brain, I decided to dig a little deeper online and lo and behold there are butt loads of manufacturers of derriere enhancing undies for women AND men. So, is tooshie padding like a multi-million dollar industry? Our flat un-perky caboose's are making people millionaires? Apparently so, and here's some of the booty-lights:
- Bubbles Butt Boosting Lingerie: Their Bubble Buns Boy shorts are most popular and then there is Caboost!. Bubbles Bands are like a push-up bra for the butt. These things look like you're putting your ass in a sling shot.
- I like straight to the point with Butt For You or BFU for short. I'd dig "Cheeks-R-Us" with a chimpanzee mascot. Unlike Bubbles, Butt For You is equal opportunity and also includes padded skivvies for guys. This was my favorite marketing line, "While we are presently marketing the briefs as a body shaping enhancer, there appears to be a strong therapeutic and sports quotient evolving." What, are you talking about the Ass Olympics?
- Over at Shop in Private, there is a shopping category called "Products for the Groinal Area" which includes things like Coochy Shave and The Big Boy (formerly called The Bulge) which is worn under Speedos, Spandex Shorts, Underwear or pants. What a cucumber or tube socks isn't good enough any more? Well, I guess the visual of a cucumber in a someone's Speedos is a bit much, no? Best line for their padded men's undies "make your butt look rounder and more pert." Now what virile guy doesn't want a more "pert" ass?
- And lastly we have "Feel Foxy." Holy gluteus maximus, this thing looks more like protective keister gear for Gladiator. Baby's got Pad!