This week, I'm going to share more information about my life in the Rat Race, and specifically more to the point of how my former career made me fat and live in very unhealthy ways, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and then how I "found" myself once again and regained my way back to health and happiness. Besides relationships, I think life at work is a leading cause for people to gain weight and get health related issues because of stress. I have no doubt that many of you will be shaking your head at various points and go, "Hmmm girl, I totally been there done that. I feel ya."
I have talked very little about my career on the blog because truth be told, I didn't want to spread my vitriol. I'm not kidding when I tell you that I have spent mountains of time and money in therapy because of things that happened during my time in Corpse-rate America. I call it corpse-rate because the place can and does literally kill people. I've seen people get heart attacks at work or become soul-less zombies.
The story of my marketing career in Silicon Valley was much like a Lifetime movie mixed with a Spanish telenovella.The stuff on Valleywag is really just a tiny peek into the dysfunction and scandalous behavior that goes on in SV. I think people in general would really be shocked to learn just how sick and demented people in geekdom can get. Silicon Valley in many ways is very much like Hollywood for acting or New York for fashion and advertising, you need a certain personality type, tenacity, and tolerance to make it in these towns because the environment can break you into a million tiny little pieces.
Metaphorically, my time in the male-dominated tech industry, and Silicon Valley was like...
...a very long tumulotuous relationship with a highly abusive yet brilliant man who I loved with all my soul. He treated me like crap yet gave me opportunities and opened doors that I could never have imagined. Every time I tried to leave, he would woo me back adorantly promising to change. He would be wonderful for awhile until I got comfortable and hooked, and then bam! Back to major assholeness.
...in order to attract the good in life, you have to heal the vitriol ...
As well, I worked on both the agency and corporate side of
marketing, PR, advertising which is a "pretty people" profession. Those
who go into the marketing and ad worlds are filled with issues around
body image, perfectionism, eating disorders, addictions, and intimacy
issues. You are constantly judged on your image and your "brand". WTF!
No one in college ever taught me that I would have to create a
"personal brand", and that my brand could hurt me or catapult me up the
ladder. And for women, a major part of your personal brand at work is
your looks. Yeah, yeah, talent does matter but it has been proven that
better looking people get bigger pay checks, faster traction up the
ladder, better opportunities, and first dibs on all the good stuff.
So yes, like the women who have "all men are pigs" attitude after bad breakups, I've
been working on "all people in business are going to screw you over and
abuse you" attitude after my stint in Corpse-rate Silicon Valley. See, it's vitrol, utter disdain. Poke me about the techies and watch me hiss like a mad cat. And of course it is not
logically true but that is what the pain tapes keep playing,
and in order to attract the good in life, you have to heal the vitrol.
Healing the vitrol will also help me to stop overeating when I feel
stressed out or feel emotionally out of control when work related
issues come up, common triggers for me.
Again honestly, I stayed in tech as long as I did because I had become accustomed to the high living, lots of money, travel, glamour, and power. It was intoxicating and addictive, and yes fun in so many ways. But, there was always a high price and eventually my body and health broke down and I had to choose; continue and live like a stylish queen yet trapped and miserable in her castle, or leave and get your life back but risk being broke and living in the unknown.
So more, starting tomorrow.
