Captain's Log: 03042008 Day #3 of 30 Total Walk Time: 31 minutes @ 8:52am
Could you live on a street called Butte Court? I giggled in a 3rd grade boy kind of way when I saw this. All I could think of was, "I guess I'd have to go to Butt Court if I committed an assfense." Then I got thinking about porn names. You know how you take the name of your pet and the name of the street you live on, and put them together to get your porn name. So, if I lived on this street my name would be Tequila Butte. That just sounds like a bad Mexican vacation that ended up in a jail. So, okay, my mind is not too straight that early in the morning.
I had to be at the dentist at 7:45am which is like the crack dawn for me as I'm normally up around 10am because I go to sleep at 2-3am. I'm a creative and a web worker, and I know I'm not alone cuz I talk to some of you at those hours. I decided to walk around my dentist's neighborhood and check out his hood. It's a very cozy community. I would bet that Mr. Rogers would live there. Ha! Mr. Rogers could live on Butte Court...Ok, that is so wrong. Sorry to offend.
I ran into this hummingbird, and even though she was moving at the speed of light, I managed to get a shot of her. So cute! I totally believe in Native American folklore that animals are also messengers from the great spirits, so when an animal appears to you, take head of the message. The symbolism for Hummingbirds is to remind us of the
beauty and wonder of the world. These walks are certainly helping me with that.
When the hummingbird flies into our lives
it
can also indicate a need within ourselves to complete a specific lesson that
we have been avoiding. Oh yes, I definitely have one of those! To note, hummingbirds can see
things
from all angles and can show us how to expand our perceptions, plus they have to eat twice their body weight in food a day in order to survive as they are so active. I wouldn't mind a pinch of that kind of metabolism.
Lately, I am really in need of seeing things from more expanded angles and perception particularly in the area of money and dating. I need money and I need a man, and let me tell you how.
Don't get me wrong. I have a great life. I
know this. When I say I need a man, I mean need like I need a
nourishing meal. It's good for me, as opposed to I need a man like I
need a tub of Haagen Dazs to comfort my insecurities. I'm trying to
focus on the healthy kind of need versus the "someone please validate
me" desperate kind of need. When you are alone, sometimes, it's very
challenging to keep perspective.
I've been thinking about Matt a lot lately, and he's been appearing in my dreams most nights. I miss him terribly. I miss us. It's been six months now since the break up, and I know that until I release the energy of "us" I'm holding onto, I'm not going to be able to attract a new relationship into my life. If new guy is as intuitive as I am, he will "smell" Matt a mile away and know "Oh, her heart is not available." This is probably why although I'm back at my fighting hottness weight (yea! 25 lbs still staying off), guys are not hitting on me at all.
What's great this skinny jeans time around is that I know that I'm not getting more male attention because I'm not making myself open to it because my love for Matt is still lingering in my heart versus feeling upset and wondering what is wrong with me. I'm not running the, "Something must be wrong with me if guys aren't attracted to me" chatter through my head. This is definitely a HUGE step forward in my evolution.
The subject of Matt and money is a very long one, so for today, I'll stop here. But back to something more fun, butts...
I actually thought it no coincidence that I ran into Butte Court today. It was a sign, literally. I have butt's on the brain because I've written another post today about padded butt underwear that was inspired because I saw one of these said padded bootie designers on the Donnie Deutsch show. These ladies want to make millions making our flat, no bubble, butt cheeks pop! Like Bam! Back that Ass Up. So ok, I think it's a silly invention but if it helps make the world a better place why the hell not.
Today, I did not listen to any music. I walked in silence and just enjoyed the sound of the early morning.
