Are you working on letting go of your perfectionist tendencies? Yesterday, I spoke of how perfectionism on one hand is really just a fear of looking dumb, stupid, not in control, or failing. Our Inner Resistance Monster wants us to believe that we can't move forward, go for our dreams, or try new things until we're perfect, the timing is perfect, or conditions are perfect.
Some of us will work ourselves to the bone or worry ourselves almost to death because of perfectionism. As a recovering perfectionist, I can tell you as many others, that all that work and worry really isn't worth it. In fact, you learn less, grow less, and create a smaller life the more you let perfectionism take over. So, here's 5 tiny ideas to help you to start let go of perfectionist habits.
- Look at your idols, mentors, or anyone you look up to. Do they do everything perfectly? Are they perfect people? No. So why do you expect yourself to live according to standards that even your idols can't? Start letting go of those unrealistic standards.
- Start being flexible and let life flow. Perfectionists have a tendency to be rigid or too controlling in their thinking and behavior and end up constricting life. Endless possibility exists when life flows naturally.
- Flaws and imperfections are what make people interesting. An old mentor of mine shared with me the leather jacket metaphor and how flaws give us desirable characteristics.
- It's okay to not know all the answers and to say so. You are not an encyclopedia or psychic. If you come to a situation where you don't the answer, tell the person you will find out and get back to them. Even experts in their fields get stumped or they have a bad day and can't recall something. It's only a biggie if you make it one.
- Perfect situations and people are boring. Think of the last time you were with someone where you couldn't stop laughing, and you had so much fun that you were bummed the day was over. Was that person a perfect person, did everything right, or was a perfectionist? Did you have your Ms./Mr. Perfect persona on? No. Most often the things we laugh about are the silliness of how things don't work out, how we made mistakes, or how things went miserably wrong. We laugh about oddities, commonalities, and the absurdity of the human nature. What fun is there in life if everything was perfect?
What I did last week:
- I didn't drive anywhere for 3 days in a row in order to save on gas. This was actually a big deal because as a typical Californian, I drive everywhere mainly because public transportation isn't that great, and I live in an area where one bus comes every hour. This week, I'm going to have to start driving with a headset for my cell because today July 1 the hands free law goes into affect here in California.
