I’ve been blogging for a living for almost 3 years now, and recently, I took a 3 week hiatus because I was burnt out. This girl was beat and cranky. But at a higher level, I was feeling like I was at a crossroads with my future in blogging, and with my future with my current blogs, Back in Skinny Jeans, and Noshtopia.
“Step away from the Publish button”
I needed time to step away, relieve myself of the pressure of posting 5 days a week, and to really decide as a blogger if I want to be popular or purposeful because one thing I’ve learned in my Pro blogging experience is that the answer to that question can make a significant impact on what you blog about, how you blog, and how you monetize. As well, the answer can impact your brand identity, and influence what kind of advertisers choose to advertise with you or not. The answer can also influence your future, and I’ll get into why.
I spent my entire 3 week haitus focused on this one question. Now, that seems like a long time to reflect on just one question, but again, this is my future we’re talking about, and that takes me to a deep place. I wanted quality, quiet time to just think and feel, and also see what my natural loves were online.
I had to even think about whether my professional blogging career was over because I am at the part in the movie where the heroine has to decide on “make or break.” Perhaps, I stop the Pro level and just blog for fun, or perhaps it’s time to hang up the gloves because the revenue to effort ratio has gotten to the point where I’ve been feeling more like a broke frustrated artist than a successful online entrepreneur.
How long are you willing to eat tuna and $4 Pho for dinner every day?
At the core, I know I’m a successful online entrepreneur, and I know that building wealth takes time, but to put it to you this way, the last 3 years for me have been a financial challenge, and my lower dimensional self is ehskared and throwing tantrums. I’m not complaining, just stating a fact. Not being financially stable was a contributing factor in my break up with my boyfriend of 3 years.
Even when I lost those 25 lbs last year, I still have not purchased any new clothes. My folks bought me some new jeans and tops in my new size which I am so grateful for, and they are supplementing some of my living expenses as an investment in my business. My folks have equity in Thriving Media because their financial help I view as seed money. Every dollar I have been making has gone to pay bills, and to pay for my business expenses. My only splurge has been shopping at Whole Foods but I’ve become an efficient bargain shopper there, and I still consider buying my food there very valuable because it helps me stay in optimal health which helps me avoid doctor bills.
...This time around, I want to make meaning and money...
Dr. Phil lets lower self and higher self duke it out
I have had serious days lying on the floor sometimes crying, sometimes dazed & confused, thinking to myself, “Geez! While everyone around you is celebrating their 10 year anniversaries or on their 2nd marriage, kids heading into Jr. High, buying bigger & newer homes, getting promoted to VP levels, flying to Jamaica for vacation, on paper, you’re still living like a single broke college student just in a fancier car.”
Again, this is my lower dimensional small self having its pity party moments, but then my bigger expanded self chimes in, “But look at what you have created. Look how far you’ve come. Perhaps look at your singleness in terms that you’ve avoided a divorce or two because you want Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now. Perhaps you needed time to become the Ms. Right for your Mr. Right.
Because you’ve grown so much and did all the things you wanted to do in your single life, you’ll be a far more involved and patient parent and wife. You will not bring crates of emotional baggage and strife into your marriage because you’ve dealt with all your personal issues from the past. Your future husband and kids will get the authentic you, the happy you, the grounded you.
You are creating a business that is bringing enormous value and helping people live more authentic lives. You are making a difference versus feeling indifferent to what you’re making as you felt in your corporate career. And on your death bed, you will not have one regret, not one should have or could have, and not one feeling of emptiness. How many people can say that? And the money will come. It will come. Stay focused. You’ve already done the hard part.”
I share this with all of you because; you too have your small thinking fearful self, and higher expanded thinking loving self. The problems in our lives arise or continue because we choose to listen to the poor me fearful self more than our uplifting “You go girl!” self. We all have a choice as to who we listen to more, and to why. I’m learning to not ignore the small self and yes to give her the space to express herself because she does have nuggets of good concern and she is part of the authentic experience, but I give more credence to what my higher self says. I let my higher self guide me and that is sound advice for anyone.
Putting your dinero where your amore is
But I’m no saint, and everyone has a breaking point, and my material self does miss things like being able to go out to a fabulous dinner at a 4-5 star restaurant (something the foodie in me used to do often), being able to buy a pretty dress for a date, or just pay rent and not worry about the next rent check.
...You are making a difference versus feeling indifferent to what you’re making as you felt in your corporate career...
Everyone has a limit, a threshold, to how much you will sacrifice for your art, your passion, your love because we still live in a material world and living the starving artist life is not fun long term. But, I also understand that the universe wants to see commitment. Those who don’t let roadblocks stop them will eventually hit the jackpot. This is the big test of your character, tenacity, and desire. What are you willing to do and live with?
In turn, the struggling, the fight for your art, your passion, your love is definitely worth it because what is life without great love? When you go for the things that really inspire you, rock your world, your life takes on a much richer dimension and higher quality. You are consistently more joyful inside even when things get tough because you are fighting for what you love, who you are, what you need, not fighting for what you hate, what makes you miserable, what you fear, what other people want from you.
I spent a life already being materially rich but love poor, and it literally was killing my soul and body. Some people can live a lifetime that way, but this girl can’t. I am very grateful for the knowledge and growth that experience taught me and I’m sharing some of that knowledge with all of you today. Currently, I am love rich but materially pinched. But I’m still grateful because given the choice, the latter is a much better position to be in, still not optimal for overall living, but being love rich is fantastic because it can’t be bought, and you have endless supply already inside you.
What the authentic self wants
Now, my authentic self wants to make money doing the things that make my heart sing, make my soul feel at peace, and gives me the ability to add great value to others. This time around, I want to make meaning and money. Yes, I’m a dreamer and idealist, but why not go for the diving catch and risk falling on your face, then not dive at all? That’s how I roll.
Back to blogging, I will explain why knowing your answer to the question, “Do you want to be popular or purposeful? is something worth seriously contemplating . I’ll show you through my answer, how your answer, is going to affect the personal and business side of your blogging efforts. Now, some of you are probably thinking to yourself, “Well, I can do both can’t I?” The answer is yes, and ideally this is what should be the norm not the exception, but from my perspective and research, I’ve only seen a handful of bloggers successfully pulling this kind of balance off, and I’ll give you examples so you can see yourself in context as well. In Part II, “Show me the numbers!”