Years later after
much therapy and healing, energetically, I realized that part of the reason I
attracted those kind of guys was because 1. I had a tape that ran through my
head “All men cheat” and 2. I had intimacy issues and deep down really wasn’t
ready to let myself be open and vulnerable to someone else so attracting the
cheating energy was like a built in “bail out” mechanism in which I could blame
the guy. I could also continue to play my “victim” role which served a purpose
of keeping me in a small, safe life. So this is what would happen…
A cheating
significant other triggered food issues for me big time, particularly binging
on junk food to numb the pain of feeling rejected and betrayed. Let’s also
couple the Oreo and cheeseburger buffets with the mental torture, “I’m not good
enough. I bet that other girl is prettier and skinnier than me. If I could just
get back into my skinny jeans he will come back to me.” etc, etc. You know the
drill. Let me have a Slurpee and bag of Cheese Puffs and reiterate some more.
On the flip side, I
could also go a few days and not eat anything at all because I’d be so consumed
with mental anguish about him with the other woman that I would forget to eat.
I would replay the last few weeks over and over trying to remember signs and
proof of his cheating. Were there signs? Was I totally blind or just in pure
denial?
...I believe that people can heal from betrayal ...
Then when I realized
that I hadn’t eaten in days, I’d go to an all you can eat buffet thinking I could
eat all I want since I had calorie deficit on the brain. The trip to the buffet
would then swing me back to binge town. It really is a torturous cycle which
thankfully, I pulled myself out of with the help of some great healers and with
the decision to really go deep inside and start healing the intimacy issues
that needed to be healed in order for me to energetically attract an
emotionally available and trustworthy man who would open his heart to me, and
for me vice versa to be as open to him.
On Oprah’s show this
Thursday (tomorrow), she has a follow up show to last week’s “Why Do Men Cheat”
episode. I watched that first episode and what got me were the wives who came
on the show with their cheating husbands, and really didn’t say much and acted
on the surface like all had been forgiven as evidenced in that they are still together
and on the Oprah Winfrey show. Who knows really what happens between a couple when
they’re back at home. I believe that people can heal from betrayal but there is much fallout to deal with, so how have others handled this?
I’m hoping in this follow up show, that they address the affect cheating has on the wife, and not just why the husband strays and what a wife could do to "affair proof her marriage." Personally, I find the “this is what you can do to prevent your man from straying” angle low vibrational because it just puts women back in a “Be Ms. Perfect” position, and it puts men in a childlike position where they are not held accountable to behave like respectful responsible adults. And why must you torture yourself and take these "Is he cheating" quizzes? And while we're at it, why not also talk about why women cheat because that happens too. Wives can be just as guilty of cheating as the husbands.
The bigger problem is that there is
something not working in the relationship on both ends and it needs to be dealt with and
healed. Whether you stay together or not is another issue.
But back to food issues, how did a cheating significant other affect your health?
