This weekend, pal Diane and I decided to stroll around Stanford Shopping Mall in Palo Alto to enjoy looking at beautiful things like this Michael Kors Satchel I absolutely fell in love with. Of course, it was one of the most expensive things in the store because I have a knack for picking things that have high price tags. Diane says it's just because I have uber excellent taste. Perhaps, I could be a more positive Rachel Zoe.
One thing I personally love about Silicon Valley is that you can't tell who's rich or who isn't simply by dress or attire because some of the very uber-rich dress way down. Therefore, sales people are nice to everyone. For example, Steve Jobs is famous for wearing jeans with holes in them and often wears New Balances around campus. Larry and Sergey from Google are often seen in jeans and casual shirts.
With the economy crashing around us, people are doing 44 times the number of Google searches on fashion than on the financial crisis, I believe, because it's way more fun and distracting to look at pretty outfits, bags, and shoes. Because I'm in bootstrapping mode, I'm refrained to window shopping.
But while walking through the mall, looking at cool things like this outfit from Burberry, I wondered to myself if window shopping in itself is a very fun thing to do, or in actuality frustrating because 1. I can't afford the clothes but wish I could and 2. I'm not even close to being as skinny as the mannequins, so the outfits would never look that good on me.
Stepping into the Betsey Johnson store I started drooling looking at all the really fun and colorful dresses. I saw at least 6 dresses I wanted to wrap up and take home, but alas, to even just go and try them on I could not because the largest size they had of anything I liked was a size 6. In fact, the majority of the dresses on the racks ranged from size 0-6, mostly size 2-4.
The sales girl told me that the dresses do go bigger up to a 10 (oh wow! that is like so ginormous Steph thinks to herself sarcastically). However, she mentioned that there usually only 1-2 of the "bigger" sizes (8's and 10's) so you pretty much have to be in the store when the new shipment gets in. Suddenly, I feel a bit saddened because I'm an 8, therefore close yet still far. And too, why is an 8 considered a "bigger" size?
For a moment, I felt a flashback, I'm once again the fat girl who couldn't wear any of the cool clothes. The really sad part though is that I'm an 8, far from fat in reality but practically plus size model in the fashion world. Yet in single digits, I still can't wear the cool clothes.
I swing between feeling pissed off and depressed. At the same time, I want to wring Betsey Johnson's neck for only making her dresses available in tiny sizes, and I want to go workout and diet until I can get into a 6. The dichotomy is maddening, and yet an every day reflection of a battle that is not uncommon.
I decided that this instance in the Betsey Johnson store was not worth holding onto the upset or depression. In actuality, this situation is absurd. "So what", I told myself. I can't wear a BJ dress. There are bigger issues going on in the world. This is where I'm getting much better about not letting things like clothes get me down. I'm learning to focus more on the abundance in my life versus the lack, and what I have is an abundance of health, a lovely day to hang out with a good girl friend, and a sunny fall day.