Back in skinny jeans

Best of BISJ: Did You Cage Your "Wild Thing" Because You Gained Weight?

Best of Back in Skinny Jeans: Originally posted November 8, 2007

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We all have a "Wild Thing" that lives inside us. Wild Thing is the part of us that has no inhibitions, doesn't care how "nice girls" are supposed to act, and lives in the moment. Wild Thing knows how to let loose, wears that fire engine red lipstick, and works the sexitude. Wild Thing gets naughty and apologizes later rather than asks for permission. You can let Wild Thing out to do her thang without hurting others or yourself.

It's easy, almost a pre-requisite to let Wild Thing out when you're thin and in the skinny jeans, but what happens when you gain weight? Is Wild Thing caged in with those pounds of protection? Did you gain weight because the skinny Wild Thing got into too much trouble and found herself in too many sexually toxic or dangerous situations? Is that fat really an excuse to deny your sexuality, your rebel, your true self that you're afraid of?

Now, letting Wild Thing out on a daily basis is not a healthy or responsible thing to do, but once in awhile it's healthy fun to let Wild Thing out to play. That's why most people love vacation because it's a time when you can let Wild Thing out free without judgment from yourself or others. Trip rules: "What happens on the road, stays on the road."

If you haven't seen your "Wild Thing" in eons, let her out this weekend. Go kiss that boy you've been wanting to smooch. Go buy that sexy teddy you've been secretly eyeing and then strip for your sweetie. Have a girls night out where no one is allowed to talk about work, kids, significant others, or their "fat." If you can afford it, look at the last minute Getaway packages at United or American and get on a plane and go somewhere you've never been.

Ditch the chores and taking care of everyone else's needs, and take one day to make it all about you. Do what you want to do, and don't explain yourself. Dance and sing "Wild Thing" in front of the mirror like you're a rock star!

Enjoy Best of BISJ While We're on an 8-Week (+ 7 Days) Hiatus

From April 13 through June 5, Back in Skinny Jeans will be on hiatus. But not to worry, like reruns during TV summer break, we'll post Tues-Thu "Best of Back in Skinny Jeans" posts for you to enjoy.

During the BISJ hiatus, I'm experimenting with my new blog Everyday Tweet, tips & talk helping people live more authentic lives in small ways. Everyday Tweet also is a place where I'm teaching people the benefits and uses of Twitter, as a way to leverage the influence I've now built on Twitter @skinnyjeans. Here's the full story on why I'm blog experimenting, and what I hope to learn.

Back in Skinny Jeans will be back with new content on June 8. Thank you for your readership!

UPDATE (6/8): I need a few more days so please do come back on June 11. It's going to be a happy day :)

UPDATE (6/11): Okay, you know I hate to be the flake, but I need a bit more time. Got a bit derailed this week, and it affected my ability to focus. More on that later. We're on Tue 6/16. Again, thank you all for your patience!

Best of BISJ: Are You Eating a Bag of Oreos When You Should Be Forgiving Yourself?

Best of Back in Skinny Jeans: Originally posted January 14, 2008

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Have you been over eating a particular food or type of food lately because really what's going is that you're trying to relieve some guilt you are feeling over making a mistake or you are feeling like you have failed some how?

When I was in college, I went through this Oreo cookie phase where I couldn't eat just 2-3 cookies. Nope! I had to eat half the bag a day. I wouldn't eat all the Oreos in one seating. I'd spread the cookie noshing out. I'd eat a bunch of Oreos at lunch, then some in the afternoon when class was done, and then finish the rest of the cookies during prime time TV. Then the next day, I'd do the same thing and finish off the whole bag. A whole box of Oreos by the way is 2400 calories.

Later in therapy, I discovered that during my Oreo binging phase what was really going on with me was that I couldn't forgive myself for not being what my parents wanted me to be. The folks wanted me to go to some prestigious college like a Harvard or Stanford, which I had what it took to get in one of those places, but I chose to go to C-list San Francisco State. (Again remember, Asian parents who are stuck on prestige factor. Years later, going to SF State is still the best decision I ever made.) The folks then wanted me to go to med school and become a doctor like any good Asian girl is supposed to do.

It didn't help that my mother came from a family history of medical professionals, and I was supposed to carry the torch into the next generation being that I was the third oldest of all the grandkids, and my two cousins older than me were medical students. Nope! I wanted to be something creative like an architect, a product designer, or a filmmaker. I have always been talented in the creative arts, but to my old school Asian parents: Art = poor = failure.

And now, the inner judge gets to lay down my sentence, and I relieve my guilt with creme filling because well, sugary goodness is comforting...

Best of BISJ: 8 Ways “Perfect Girl” Can Hold You Back

Best of Back in Skinny Jeans: Originally posted September 15, 2008

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Many of us let our inner Perfect Girl take the driver’s seat because we believe that she knows all the answers and that she knows better than we do. Indeed, in many cases Perfect Girl has helped us be accomplished, and has helped us develop high standards for our life which is a good thing.

However, Perfect Girl can also hold you back from being your true self and from living your most authentic life. Here’s 8 ways Perfect Girl holds you back:

• Perfect Girl likes to stay within her comfort zone. She will only tackle things she knows she can at least be 90% good at. If you only stick to things you think you’re good at, how do you know you’re not missing out on something you could be awesome at, but would never try because initially it doesn’t look like something you could be good at. Start stepping out of your comfort zone.

• Perfect Girl is high maintenance. Ever notice that when she is in charge, you are always tired, frustrated, and tense? Why, because Perfect Girl is unrealistic, relentless and pushes you constantly to go way above the call duty. Start asking yourself why you have to do more work than need be.

• Perfect Girl can’t stop and smell the roses because she’s fixated on wanting to prune the roses, water the roses, and read tips from Martha Stewart to make her roses grow bigger and brighter. In reality, life is not a competition or a beauty contest, only Perfect Girl believes that.

Best of BISJ: Bread Is Not The Bad Guy

Best of Back in Skinny Jeans: Originally posted July 19, 2006

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I love bread. I love all kinds of bread. I love the texture, the taste, and the experience. Up until carbs were designated "evil fat making food," bread has had a good reputation. Throughout the ages, bread has fed millions of people. Breaking bread with others is a sign of peace and community. Sharing bread is a sign of prosperity. Taking bread as the body of Christ is a holy act.

And then one day, bread became the enemy. Bread became bad. Bread was the obstacle between you and your skinny jeans. Bread became a forbidden food. If you broke down, and ate bread during your diet, you felt like a failure because you couldn't hold out. Some gurus with degrees and credentials said bread would make us fat, and we all believed it.

But what if....

Maybe the thing that is making us fat is not the bread, but the man-made, un-natural ingredients the large food conglomerations put into mass marketed breads. Maybe it's the trans fats, the hydrogenated oils, the overly processed grains, and artificial sweeteners added into the breads that make us fat. Maybe it's the fact that we'll eat half a loaf of bread instead of just a slice. Maybe it's the fact that we eat a sandwich at 10pm right before bed, and the extra calories have no outlet to be burned.

The French eat bread all the time, and they don't blow up like balloons. The Italians eat lots of bread and pasta too and they aren't treadmill junkies like us. In fact, many countries around the world have bread as a staple in their diet, and they are not worrying about getting the dreaded muffin top. They enjoy bread.

Bread is not the enemy. Bread is yummy and good. I now eat whole grain breads or freshly baked breads made from organic or all natural ingredients. Wonder bread and Poppin' Fresh no longer have a place in my life. It's about moderation. I enjoy slices instead of half loaves, and I feel good. I can continue my adoration for bread, and wear my favorite pair of Levis.

She's Tweeting: Oprah is on Twitter

I guess I started Everyday Tweet at a good time because Oprah announced on her Facebook page yesterday that she is going to start tweeting. Today's show is all about Twitter. Evan Williams, the CEO of Twitter and Ashton Kutcher aka @aplusk will be guests. Kutcher is the first person to hit one million Followers on Twitter.

Oprah so far is following besides Kutcher and Williams, Ellen Degeneres, George Stephanopoulos, Shaq, Demi Moore, Sheri Salata (Oprah show Executive Producer) and Gayle King.

Many people are still asking, "What's the big deal about Twitter?" I describe Twitter as a Swiss army knife of texting awesomeness, and here's what you get. And even if you're still not sold and wonder, "What can I use Twitter for?" Here's 7 everyday things you can do on Twitter.

If you're ready to get started, I explain how to do so in Oprah speak for non-techies and newbies in this 4-part post series on how to get started on Twitter. I also explain common Twitter protocols, #hastags for search and the retweet.

Twitter is going mainstream big time now, and this is very exciting.

A Tweet For Everyone: Changes and Everyday Newness

Today is Easter, and I hope all of you had a fabulouso time with the fam, friends, and loved ones. As I mentioned last week, I was going to announce something new Friday, but then I thought it better to do my megaphone thing on Easter because the new thing I'm about to tell you about in a sec is about rebirth and in a sorts rising from the dead for my blog business which is currently in the red and the impetus for all these changes.

We got some bummer news and awesome news.

First the bummer

From a business perspective, I had to make some hard decisions which basically came down to change or perish. We're in tough times, and I had to make some tough choices which includes my dear readers putting my 3 blogs Noshtopia, The Everyday Blogger, and Back in Skinny Jeans on hiatus for at least 8 weeks.Yes, bummer.

The 8-week hiatus will be an experiment for the new thing I'll be focusing on. At the end of the 8 weeks, I will re-evaluate everything. I figure experimenting is better than putting blogs on the chopping block.

Noshtopia and The Everyday Blogger will be radio silent for those 8 weeks, but Back in Skinny Jeans will go on reruns much like TV on summer hiatus where twice a week I will publish, "Best of BISJ" posts.

Because of the incredible momentum I have going on Twitter with 41k+ Followers, the Subscriber list for BISJ has nearly tripled in the last 2 months which is fantastic, but made it really tough to make the hiatus decision. I think the decision to do reruns instead of go radio silence will be beneficial for everyone including my Google page rank as Google bots no likey silence.

The 8-weeks of reruns for you new readers will be cool, and for you long timers, it will be a refreshing reminder.

The awesome news

I am going to leverage my success on Twitter and now make my Twitter activity the focus of my business, and have created a new blog, Everyday Tweet to support that Twitter focus. The theme of Everyday Tweet is helping people live more authentic lives in small ways. The tagline, "Tiny Actions. Doable Results."

Here in the FAQs, I go into more detail on my outlook on authentic living which includes what Twitter is and what all the hooplah is about and what topics Everyday Tweet will focus on which will really be an elaboration of what I've been doing on all the previous 3 blogs. Better Than Nothin' Tuesdays where we applauded you for making tiny changes was really the structural inspiration for Everyday Tweet as Tuesdays was always BISJ biggest traffic day of the week consistently.

I really believe people like micro content because it is short, easy, and instant in our short attention span culture, and so far I'm proving that I am really good at creating compelling and impactful micro content.

Yes, the concept of flipping platform focus is a bit of a radical idea, and I explain in depth in this post, "Change or Perish: When the Blogger "Flips & Condenses" The Blogging Strategy" where the idea came from.

Here's a visual of basically what I'm doing:

My trip to the Philippines was far more altering than I imagined. I share how I discovered that blogging is not my true love. Yes, *yikes!* But not to worry, I do love blogging and will not stop doing it, but unraveling what my true love is has helped me see my business and my life too through a whole different lens.

In that post I also go into the some of the mixed feelings I was having about my 3 blogs and all the work I have been doing on them and feeling more like 20/80 than 80/20, a frustrating place. As much as I have grown and evolved with Back in Skinny Jeans, I now feel limited by the topic range here in terms of a full time profession.

As I mention in that post, I feel very honored and grateful that I got to be a leading blogger in the healthy living and positive body niche. I paved the way for many women to start blogging about their own journey and I helped open the doors to many of you who felt alone in your struggles and feelings.

There is a better way to live where we can love and accept the uniqueness that is in each of us. And perhaps, that is all BISJ or at least my role in this blog was meant to do, be a Columbus or Magellan and find new lands and open the horizons for others. We'll see what happens in 8 weeks.

So there we have it. As usual, I am open to hearing any suggestions, comments, and insights you may have. I am a bit sleep deprived at the moment because I've been in launch mode pumping out content since last week, but I am amped and excited about this Twitter and Everyday Tweet experiment.

Amazing things can happen when you follow your bliss and never give up!

25 Things I Did to Lose 25lbs and Keep It Off For a Year Now

On Facebook, I think I've been tagged like dozens of times on that "25 Things About Me" meme, and over at Twitter, now that I have over 41k Followers asking me about how I lost weight, I thought I'd combine the two together. I'm all for two-fers!

Just to recap. I started a 25lb weight loss journey back in June of 2005 and reached my goal in January of 2008, and have kept it all off ever since. Above is me two weeks ago enjoying a day at a resort in the Philippines. Mom took the picture. I did post during the whole time I was dropping those 25lbs on my blog Back in Skinny Jeans which included Weigh-In Wednesdays. Here's that whole section called, "Steph Loses Weight."

So here we go:

1. I eliminated consuming any artificial sweeteners like aspartame and Splenda which I was mostly consuming through diet sodas like Diet Coke, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper, and in my coffee and tea drinks at Starbucks. When I did that 10lbs just fell off. My theory, and again I am no medical pro, is related to this study on how artificial sweeteners can increase your odds of gaining weight.

2. My basic eating philosophy is based around a concept I call "Eating Wellness." I created my food blog Noshtopia to share the things I love to eat, cook, and savor in. There's plenty of food shots too which helps me express my creative side. Admittedly too, I am a Whole Foods addict.

3. I pretty much stopped eating in the car like it was a restaurant on wheels. I don't go through any drive thrus either. If I want food, I park and go inside.

Check-in Tomorrow for Something I'm Cookin Up

Just a quick note to let ya know I haven't disappeared from all my blogs. Yes, there has been some laggage at Back in Skinny Jeans, Noshtopia, and The Everyday Blogger. I'm coming to the reality check that although in my mind I think I can be super woman who can do it all, um, no! And yes, it's okay, to step back, chill, and re-evaluate.

But I'm not gone from the interwebs, I'm on Twitter like all the time, so you can find me there @skinnyjeans.

Tomorrow, Friday, I'm going to share some new recipe I'm whipping up in the blog kitchen. It will be delicious :)

Update (3:16 a.m. 4/11): Ay caramba, I underestimated my time, so announcement is coming later today, Saturday. Yes, it's 3am and I'm still up. I'm on creative streak!

Better Than Nothin': Make One Phone Call

On Tuesdays, you get a hip-hip-hooray for taking steps for making the smallest of actions towards your health and life goals. We're going to throw in life goals today because hey, it's all tied together. You need a well oiled ship in order to take that adventure to your destination, joy.

And when I talk about tiny actions, I'm talking about stuff that is effortless, so small it almost feels like you haven't done anything at all. But the fact is, you have done something because doing something small adds up over time, and it is better than doing zero like eating one more green vegetable this week or making an appointment to talk to a free adviser at your local entrepreneur center.

Let your fingers do the dialing

You'd be amazed how taking one tiny step could catapult you to new places. Even one phone call or email could change your whole life.

So how about it? Is there a phone call you need or I should say want to make, but fear is standing between you and that call. Here's a simple truth, the only difference between you and someone who has achieved their dreams and goals is that at a single moment like this where a simple phone call needs to be made, the one who goes on to success makes that phone call. They feel the fear and do it anyway. That's it. Simple.

The small stuff can matter in big ways

The road to what you want is paved with all kinds of these small situations like making that one phone call, writing that one email, or submitting that one application. Mentally, we keep telling ourselves that we're waiting for those big breaks, those big opportunities, but really, those big situations come along very rarely, it's the day-to-day stuff that makes the difference and frankly will lead up to those big breaks.

Another way to look at this situation. Picture yourself 20 years from now, and look back to this moment. If an angel gave you a glimpse of what your life could have looked like, what you could have achieved, and it resulted to just making one phone call, how would you feel?

Me, I'd be kicking my own ass. This is how I've been looking at life now. I'd rather try and be rejected or fall on my face, than wonder my whole life what could have been had I just faced my fears and did that one small thing like make that phone call.

And the more you face these type of situations, the better you'll get at handling them. Remember out of school how scared you were at your very first job interview? Now, you can walk into an interview and interview the company instead of it being the other way around. That savvy built up over time.

So what are you waiting for? You can do it!