Best of Back in Skinny Jeans: Originally posted August 2, 2007
I believe that one of the most powerful skinny myths women buy into is, "When I reach my goal weight and get skinny, Prince Charming will show up and I will be loved and adored." Raise your hand if this belief was one of the motivating factors in at least one of your weight loss efforts. [My hand is up.]
So, why is that so many of us buy this belief?
For me, it started in high school. I noticed that all the popular girls who were always thin and pretty always had boys swarming all over them, talking about them, and wanting to date them. I wanted to be one of those girls, and Junior year, I did become one of those "desired" chicks after shedding 20 pounds, getting contacts, visiting a dermatologist to clear up my acne, and growing out my hair a few inches. I was even nominated for Homecoming Princess. Yeah, big dream come true!
After high school, I spent the next umpteenth years staring at celebrity couples and models in the fashion magazines. [more after the jump]
Ever notice that the models were always seen with hunky, chiseled Prince Charmings frolicking on the beach or in some exotic sexy locale? And then look at the celebrities. Who could ever forget Princess Diana's nuptuals, the wedding of all fairytale weddings?
Again, the thing in common with all these images of these "relationships" was the women were all thin. So, over time it's easy to become brainwashed to believe that thin=happy in love.
...the reality though is that thin does not necessarily equal "happy in love."
The reality though is that thin does not necessarily equal "happy in love." In high school, when I became one of the "hot and popular" chicks, all my girlfriends turned against me, and the boys mainly wanted to just have sex with me.
Princess Diana and her Prince did not live happily ever after but got divorced and made each other miserable in the press. Some say Diana never got to marry her true love, a doctor, because he was deemed "unacceptable" to the royal family to be a spouse to the mother of the future King of England.
And look at the celebrities, all of them are thin, beautiful, and rich, but in the US the divorce rate is above 50% for average folk, so imagine in Hollywood, it must be higher. We know this because we see it in the tabloids every day, and once the celebrity couple gets married, people are already taking bets as to when they get divorced.
The truth is, you can have your "happy in love" state right now whether you are 300 pounds or 130 pounds. Your ability to have a loving man in your life is not at all dependent on how thin or fat you are. Really. The brainwashing is what is making you believe that fallacy of love = thin.
Perhaps you're holding onto the skinny myth because it's easier to buy into when in reality you don't want to start looking honestly into your relationship issues and how you contribute to your own unhappiness. Ouch, tough, I know. But is it true? This is an excellent topic to bring up with your therapist.
You will be in a better place emotionally to attract that special healthy kind of love when you first start feeling beautiful, whole, and confident internally. True love really does start with yourself.