Back in skinny jeans

She's Tweeting: Oprah is on Twitter

I guess I started Everyday Tweet at a good time because Oprah announced on her Facebook page yesterday that she is going to start tweeting. Today's show is all about Twitter. Evan Williams, the CEO of Twitter and Ashton Kutcher aka @aplusk will be guests. Kutcher is the first person to hit one million Followers on Twitter.

Oprah so far is following besides Kutcher and Williams, Ellen Degeneres, George Stephanopoulos, Shaq, Demi Moore, Sheri Salata (Oprah show Executive Producer) and Gayle King.

Many people are still asking, "What's the big deal about Twitter?" I describe Twitter as a Swiss army knife of texting awesomeness, and here's what you get. And even if you're still not sold and wonder, "What can I use Twitter for?" Here's 7 everyday things you can do on Twitter.

If you're ready to get started, I explain how to do so in Oprah speak for non-techies and newbies in this 4-part post series on how to get started on Twitter. I also explain common Twitter protocols, #hastags for search and the retweet.

Twitter is going mainstream big time now, and this is very exciting.

NSFW but Okay For a Beauty Mag. This Is What 43 Looks LIke When...

...you're rich and a former supermodel whose job is to continually look like the genetically blessed which like, um, 95% of us could never attain even with some good old photoshopping. Even Cindy here has got photochopping action going on amongst all that froth.

This is Cindy Crawford in the April issue of Allure, the book of make believe issue. Yeah, that's what I'm calling it because seriously this is fairy tale hocus pocus. Yeah, the lifestyle mogul, 43-year-old mother of two looks hot, but really Allure, you expect us to believe that this is reality, using some creams and microdermabrasion is going to help any of us look like lather queen over here when we're 43.

And this woman is not just some everyday woman, she's Cindy Crawford one of the most celebrated supermodels of like ALL time. Ever.

Okay, time to take the red pill and get back to the Matrix.

Now Here's A Magazine Cover I Like

Redbook's March issue features Kate Walsh, and I likey! That baby blue dress is sexy and so fun. Kate looks fresh and fabulous. Yeah, there is some photoshopping going on because we know all covers are re-touched but here it is minimal. Thank you.

Can I say that I love Redbook's tagline, "Love Your Life." Nice!

The headlines look like useful stories. I would have liked the Kate headline to be a bit more, "I've always been the girl with a big heart kind of thing. Because, aren't we women always "trying" when it comes to relationships? When do we stop "trying" and get to the "being" part? I really want to find out more about that powerful love story. Me loves to read about love!

Redbook you did good this month. Now if we can just get Women's Health magazine to get on the same page. btw, thanks to all my readers who let us know that the new Editor-in-Chief of Women's Health came from Cosmo, and the issue I recently pointed out for it's misleading headlines was her first issue. That explains a whole lot.

Let's hope the new EIC of Women's Health learns quickly and does not bring too much of that Cosmo feel over because if I see one headline that even hints of, "Upper body workouts that lift your boobs for a better sex life when you can't afford plastic surgery", I'm out!

Update: Correction: Michele Promaulayko the new Editor-in-Chief of Women's Health magazine's flagship issue is not the March issue which I had issues with. Her first issue is the upcoming April 09 issue which hits stands March 17. So, we'll definitely be keeping our eyes out.

Would You Pay For a GOOPy Gym Membership?

The GOOPiness empire may be expanding. If rumor holds true, Gwyneth Paltrow and her personal trainer Tracy Anderson - who also trains Madonna, are looking to open up a chain of gyms across Europe, Asia and Australia. Tracy already has gyms in LA and New York which you would expect of any trainer to the elite and stars, or those who can afford it well just because they can. {Yes, there is a whiff of smugness there}

Most of us are trying to just stay afloat, and one thing that many people have cut off their budgets is gym memberships even at inexpensive places like 24 Hour. The outdoors, exercise shows on Cable, books and hey even club dancing are looking mighty good these days.

So, what makes Gwyneth think that her gym would thrive in this struggling economy because you know this is going to be some swank place with a waterfall with the scent of water lillies to greet you as you enter the GOOP hive? I can imagine the fresh faced, slim, and limber employees with names like Chantal and Verde to be dressed in organic sustainable made linen capris and scoopneck tees with "Namaste" printed in the center where the 3rd chakra lies.

And indeed, the gym itself would be built with nothing but green friendly materials, with artwork from a 79-year-old painter from a quaint French village hanging from the Terra cotta shaded walls. And if not artwork, you'd see zen sayings scribed on the walls in luminescent flowing colors like, "There is nothing you can see that is not a flower," so that, when you look in the mirror at that muffin top you gained over the holidays, there is no room for negativity. No, not here at 24 Hour GOOP.

Anyone up for some haughty hamstring stretches?
How about some supercilious squats?
Up for some lofty leg presses?

Ah yes indeed Gywnnie. I feel the oneness of the inner aspect. May I have a sip of some refreshing Yerba Mate now.

Okay, I jest, but stuff like this is parody in the making. A blogger cannot help herself. Of course who wouldn't want to go to a heavenly gym like this, but really, is now the time Gwyneth dear when so many of us are just trying to pay off credit cards, keep our homes, and stay employed?

Does some celeb have her head in the clouds a bit too much or am I just a spoofing opportunist who has to do crunches and planks watching the free 10 minute fitness clips on Comcast?

Really, Megan Fox Said That About Herself....

Giuliana Rancic from E! interviewed Megan Fox on the red carpet at the Golden Globes yesterday and this has got to be one of the weirdest interviews I have ever seen. Actually, at the end, I was like "WTF?"

Either Megan has a serious case of body dysmorphia, she's using terrible reverse psychology to fish for, "Oh no, you're really pretty" compliments, or she's doing the worst job of trying to make herself seem like an "everyday woman." To me, Megan looked like a Greek Goddess in Gold. Some of Giuliana's facial reactions to Megan's answers are priceless. I imagine in her head Giuliana is thinking the same thing, "WTF?" or "Did someone cut a wire in your brain?"

At one point, Giuliana asks Megan what her stay-in-shape secrets are, and the first answer out of Megan's mouth was kind of shocking but she said she was joking. I'm really wondering though if she wasn't at least partly serious because she then goes on to tell us what her waist size is which is pretty much a little bigger than the size of my thigh. And, I can now imagine all these young girls wanting to work towards having a waist Megan's size which is unbelievably tiny. Really it is.

And yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe Megan is one of those genetically blessed with the waist of 14 year old, but still, girlfriend is not helping the positive body image cause with interviews like this. Was she just having a bad day?

Anyway, watch the clip and tell me what you think. Part of me is wondering why Megan couldn't have just said, "Thank you Giuliana. I just do my best to keep it healthy."

Oprah's Weight Wagon and the Diet Tribe

If ya haven't noticed, there is quite a bit on TV about dropping the lbs. Yesterday I checked out Oprah's Best Life confession about her 40lb weight gain, and the new Lifetime show Diet Tribe which is about a group of 5 girlfriends ranging from ages 25-31 who are hoping to lose 30 lbs each in 90 days with the help of hunk-o-matic trainer Jessie.

I'm just gonna quickly recap my thoughts because I'd rather hear more about what you all thought of the shows. First up is Oprah, and this time I'm not going to go verbal postal on her like I did this time, although it's tempting.

Upside:

• I liked the whole discussion about asking yourself, "What are you really hungry for?" This is an awesome question to ask yourself when you feel the need to binge or overeat because in most cases we're not actually hungry for food but for something emotional like love, comfort, or relief. We're using food in replacement instead of reaching for what we are truly craving emotionally.

• I like Bob Greene's straight up question for all of us, "Why are you overweight?" Another good question because the answer is not because I eat too much and don't exercise, it's something deeper, it's the source. When you can honestly answer that question you will have a better chance of long term success because you start learning what your true motivators are.

Flip side:

• Every time Oprah said, "I fell off the wagon" it was like nails on the chalkboard to me because it's like this constant reminder of the "failure". Oprah is way too hard on herself.

• The hard emphasis on the word "failure" because the fat won. When she said that all her fame, money, and success means absolutely nothing because she can't fit into her clothes as the fat won, I literally was speechless. Seriously Oprah?

So you can become a self made billionaire, win Emmy's, donate millions to make the world a better place, and build a media empire but it all means nothing because now you're venturing into a size 16. Really?! Elastic waist pants trumps billionaire practically saint level? Does fat really have that much influence over our lives, her life? I realize she has a perfectionist mind but really this is so out of balance for my rationale. Perhaps this is just semantics but in the throes of my ED, I don't ever remember feeling like a failure. I just felt utterly not good enough. I had worthiness issues. Is that comparable?

• Oprah went to four doctors and not one of them detected the thyroid issue, her audience did? I'm struggling with that one. Oprah can afford the best doctors in the world which I'm sure each of those four doctors were so how is it not one of them diagnosed the thyroid problem which is not some rare disease, it's quite common?

I am looking forward to the rest of the week because we got Dr. Oz, Suze Orman, and talks about the spiritual path and sex. The webcasts for next week look like they will be interesting too so I'll be following.

Now Lifetime's Diet Tribe:

Upside:

• I like that the 5 women are like people I would know, work with, or have went to school with. They are everyday folk. They are a good group.

• I like watching how these friends are supporting each other and creating a new friend memory before our very eyes.

• Okay, I'll say it out loud. Jessie is nice on the eyes, and damn those arms. He can hug me anytime. Jessie seems like a toughie but not too hard. When Shawna went off on him, he could have been meaner.

• By the end, I'm either going to really love or despise Shawna. That one is a fire cracker. I find it interesting that she was once a personal trainer. I look forward to learning more of her story.

Flip side:

• 30 pounds in 3 months seems like too much too fast to me. Granted it is 10 lbs per month and the ladies are over 200, but still the whole quick weight loss thing is not my cup of tea. I realize it's reality TV, but still.

• Okay, 1 minute 30 seconds to run 1/4 mile is considered healthy average. Average? That pace is a 6 minute mile. I'm in good shape and I run, and I can't do 1/4 mile in 1:30. Am I crazy here?

• The shrink lady for some reason is not coming off warm or sensitive to me. Her "I know your pain because I was fat too" schtick did not connect with me and I don't exactly know why yet. Was it just me?

Time for you all to chime in. What did you think of Oprah's show and Diet Tribe?

It's a Women's Magazine Cover Mini Miracle!

The heavens are starting to grant our wishes! "Learn to Love Your Body" is actually a headline on the cover of a major women's magazine, the January 2009 Cosmopolitan...in the UK.

For now, I'm calling it a mini miracle because although the headline is terrific, I haven't actually read the article so for all I know it could be about "love your body...once you lose weight and find a man." Any of our UK readers seen this Cosmo issue?

I'm poo-poo on the ScarJo HAD to get married headline. Bet it's something sappy like "once you find "the one" you just can't imagine another moment not having that ultimate commitment."

However, we're all about appreciating baby steps. So, we'll take this solo uplifting headline. Come on U.S. women's magazines, who's gonna start stepping up to the plate?

What If You Were Oprah's Best Friend...

I'm going to do a little fan fiction today, and pretend that I am Oprah's BFF and I do not work for her. I'm a blogger who's got her own online media empire (so okay, we interject a little reality). The following conversation takes place at O magazine in some room where it's just the two of us and no one can hear. Oprah is showing me the comp for the January 2009 issue, and she wants to know what I think before it goes to print.

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Oprah: "Hey girl, so here's the comp of the Jan 09 issue. Can you flip through it real quick and tell me what you think."

Steph reads over the cover and then jumps to the story, "How did I let this happen again?" After reading the article, she quickly flips through the rest of the magazine.

Steph: "So what's up with this story, "How did I let this happen again?"

Oprah: "What do you mean?"

Steph: "I mean what are you hoping to accomplish with it?"

Oprah: "Well, I've gained weight. I'm 200 lbs, and I hate it. My weight has been a struggle my whole life and here I am again at the 200 lb mark. I gained 40lbs. I can't believe I let myself gain 40 lbs. Here I am Oprah Winfrey, tying to help millions of people live their best life, and I can't even follow my own advice. I feel somehow like I've failed, and what kind of role model am I if I can't even keep my own weight stable. I can't skirt the weight gain issue anymore because it's all over the press and the blogs, so if I'm gonna talk about it, I might as well do it during New Year's resolution time. I thought I'd take the approach that every woman feels when they find themselves having gained weight again."

Steph: "So, the tone of this is supposed to appeal to the everyday woman and her struggles, frustrations, and disappointment with her own weight gaining experience? Like always, you want people to know that you "get" them too, and that you are no different than the rest of us? You're like one of us?"

Oprah: "Yeah, basically...Soooo, what do you think?"

Steph: "Frankly, I think this is bullshit. What the hell is this? That's not Oprah on the cover, that's your New Earth pain body on the cover who's going on about feeling like a "fat cow". I can't believe you actually want to print those words "fat cow." That is one of the most unloving things I have heard come outta your mouth in ages. So, go ahead and think it in your head if you gotta but don't put it in print. And, what's with this feeling like a "disappointment" because you gained 40 lbs. You're 200 now...So, fucking what!

Oprah: "What is your problem? I can't believe how mean you're being."

Steph: "Mean? Mean?! No! I'm not being mean, I'm being real. And yeah, I'm fucking pissed because here we are again. You're telling me and the rest of the world the same damn story. But worse, you're focusing on lack, what you don't have, what you failed at. You don't even see what I see or what everyone else sees.

Oprah: "Oh yeah, and what is that genius?"

Steph: "That you are the most powerful woman in Hollywood. You have made a difference in people's lives more than most people on the fricking planet in this entire century. You have this amazing school in Africa. You are a self made BILLIONAIRE. You are a BILLIONAIRE! How many women can say that! And you created this life from a beginning that would have left most people broken and desolate their entire lives.

And no matter how amazing your life is and what you do for the world, you gotta always bring up the weight and point out that "flaw." Everything else takes backseat because you've gained 40lbs. Well, you wanna know the fucking truth, no one cares if you're 160lb or 300lbs. The only one who is making this an issue is YOU and your pain body. And that's why I'm fucking pissed. You're letting your pain be in charge instead of the real you.

The Oprah I know and love is better than this. Go ahead and print this crap, but that is not the real you, that is your ego who thinks that she needs to self deprecate in order to sell magazines, and you're convincing yourself that it's you being authentic. This is not authentic, it's marketing bullshit taking advantage of New Year's resolution hooplah. You can tell this exact same story but in an entirely different tone and you KNOW that, but you're choosing to use the same old tired approach that every women's magazine uses to sell copies. Times are changing but that old pattern in your head hasn't.

The real Oprah would not be putting herself down and then putting it all over the fricking cover of her magazine. Yeah, she'd share her personal struggles too because people love that about her, but she'd at least make it uplifting somehow. There is absolutely NOTHING uplifting about this cover and story. Again, this is the same old crap that all the fucking women's magazines use to sell copies. It's depressing, and no one wants to see it anymore.

And what's this before and now picture comparison bullshit? You can only smile when you're 160 lbs. What 200lb Oprah can't smile and be happy? So, if the accomplished Oprah Winfrey can't even smile even though she's gained some weight, then what the hell chance in the world do the rest of us have? I don't want to see a disappointed almost disgusted looking frown on your face. I want to see a face filled with acceptance and hope, a face that says, "You know I realize I'm not at my best shape, but I still love myself, and I'm working on getting back on track." Why don't you do something like this instead?"

{Steph runs to a computer to do some photoshopping}

Steph: "Okay, If I totally had my way, I'd get rid of that awful cover picture but for the sake of example, I just changed  some of the headlines to this:

Steph: See. You can still share your weight struggles with everyone, but this tone is at least more uplifting, accepting, and loving. You're helping people take their life in a better direction, not a perfect one. You're focusing on what is already good, and how can we make it better. That kinda tone inspires people, and that is the tone my best friend Oprah would love to hear someone else speak about themselves.

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So, I realize that the tone of this fanfic is tough but I have nothing but the utmost love, respect, and admiration for Oprah in real life. However, seeing this January issue really made me wanna shake some sense into her. She has helped so many people, and has made this world such a better place, and because of that in my eyes, she is a wonder unlike any other. I don't see a body. I see a light.

If you were Oprah's best friend, what would you say to her about this cover and story of her weight?

What Do You Think About Beauty Secrets from Victoria's Secrets Models?

In this video clip (1:52 min), Victoria's Secret models Karolina Kurkova and Adriana Lima share a few beauty secrets and tips, and then what quality they look for in a man. Oh yeah, and there is a plug for the new Biofit Bra because well, they're paid spokespeople.

So, I am dying of curiousity, I would like to know what you all think about this clip. But more importantly, would you take beauty advice from a Victoria's Secret model more or less serious, or it doesn't matter if the woman is a model or not. If she has a great figure, good skin, and has great hair and makeup, then she obviously knows a thing or five, so she'd have some great advice and tips.

I'll share my thoughts later in comments as I have several. But first, I'd like to get your fresh opinions. One thing I will say is that just once I would LOVE, LOVE to hear a model or actress say, "Well, my first beauty secret is that I am genetically blessed." Seriously, that kind of honest acknowledgement would be so refreshing.

What if you were Editor-in-Chief of a major women's magazine?

 
I'd love too see a reality show where the winner gets the opportunity to be Editor-in-Chief (EIC) for one issue of a major women's magazine like Glamour, Vogue, Lucky, or Marie Claire.

For fun and because frankly I'm so tired of looking at the same old headlines, I took Marie Claire's new January 09 cover and played EIC. I didn't change all the headlines just 3, but see how the cover has a more uplifting tone yet it still has high marketing appeal. You can have a nice balance between "pretty stuff" and soulful.

The next thing I'd do is replace Jessica Simpson with someone like Natalie Portman, Kate Winslet, or Cindy Crawford. Cindy hasn't been on a cover in ages but I'd love to see her back. Of the supermodels of yonder years, I always admired Cindy for having high standards and becoming a business woman as well as using her celebrity for some good. She's also made aging something to embrace instead of to dread.

So what would you do if you got to be Editor-in-Chief for one issue?