Back in skinny jeans

Diagram: Weight Loss Theory

Am feeling cartoonish today.  Doesn't losing weight seem much simpler in diagram form? Now if I could just hit the sweet spot. What would your diagram look like?

Thanks to Sister Skinny for the "begetables" :)

Talk to your body: The simple strength test

In this video, I demonstrate a really simple technique I learned that allows you to open up some dialog between you and your body. Your body has many answers, and if you ask the right questions, you'd be amazed as to what you can learn about yourself.

One thing I did not mention in the video is what happens if you get a "no" answer and you don't like that answer. Well, your body is telling you it's boundary, and what would be best is to probe deeper and get to the real reason behind the no. You may be able to find a compromise, or discover that what needs to change is your intent or motivation for whatever it is you're asking.

Try out the technique and let me know what you think. It's done wonders for me.

How not having the Asian skinny genes affected my body image

Camy's guest blog post about her new book and the pestering aunts who feel the need to point out all your fat flaws at family gatherings, got me thinking more about my own struggles of dealing with body image as an Asian woman. I'm Filipino with Chinese and Spanish ancestry.

I am 5'7" with no shoes, and my dress size has fluctuated anywhere between an 8 and 14 over the years. This makes me a big and tall Asian girl which is really uncommon because your typical Asian woman is 5'0-4" and a size 0-6 basically short, thin, and petite.

So, from day one, because of my unusual build, I always felt like a freak of nature particularly in large gatherings of Asian people where image conscious FOBs are a plenty. Don't get me wrong. I love my clan, but that old country mentality can be particularly judgmental and mean. Sometimes they can give you the nastiest look when you go for a second egg roll. The ideal Asian beauty is supposed to look like some perfect Porcelain doll with perfect milky skin and a petite body, and I come no where near that Lucy Liu or Joy Luck Club look. I could pass for dastardly Dragon Lady though.

Growing up, often I wanted to scream and pull my hair out because frequently I heard things from the relatives like "You're so big for an Asian. How did you get so fat when all your cousins are thin?" (Mind you a 12 is considered "fat" to the pestering Asian relatives when you're hovering around a sea of size 2s.) The aunties would even break out the rosary beads and say novena prayers for me with the scary statue of Mary surrounded by those candles with Jesus' "see I died for you" looking face on them. And the constant thorn in my side...

Conclusion: The Great Walking Experiment of March 08

Captain's log: 04022008 Final conclusion of 30-minute for 30-days walking experiment

We are now at April and the end of my 30-day Great Walking Experiment, and I have to say that my experiment proved to be a mostly hilarious failure. I just could not stick to walking every day after day 13, and I'm okay with that. I had a good laugh about it, and hey it's okay to not be perfect at something.

On the upside, I tried something new, and I did learn something about myself and what I like exercise wise. Walking is a good form of exercise. I do like it because you are simply getting your body to move, and moving is better than being sedentary all day long.

I, however, much prefer to exercise like a fiend and sweat like a drippy wet dog who's emerged from a dip in the ocean. I also LOVE my days off. I'd rather work hard 4-5 days with 2-3 days rest, than exercise every day moderately. The walking experiment was beneficial in that it gave my knee some time to recoop. I'm back to running slowly, and short distances, and the knee is good.

Now that Spring is bringing the warmer weather and longer days, I can imagine that we'll be seeing more and more people walking after dinner which is good to burn some calories yet not get you too wired so you can't get to sleep at a decent time.

The best part of the Great Walking Experiment was that I got to take a whole lot of awesome pictures, listen to some great music, and "see" more of my neighborhood that I never could from a car. btw, seeing this red tractor in the middle of Silicon Valley just cracked me up. The engineers would probably try and wifi, bluetooth, and turn it into a green machine. So put on your walking shoes. You never know what fun you'll find in your hood.

Part I of II: How over-interneting is like over-eating

Last week, I mentioned that I was going to go "off the grid" for nearly five days to see just how much my Internet use and blogging was affecting this wicked case of insomnia I have been experiencing this month, and without further adieu, here's the results:

• On the first night, I went to bed at 11pm and woke at 9am-ish, and it was the best night of sleep I have had in a month. The next night the insomnia kicked in, but the three nights after that I was back on a regular midnight to 9am-ish sleep routine.

• Therefore, my conclusion, the level at which I blog and use the Internet is having a much greater impact on my sleep than I ever imagined, and with the time off I got to probe, why?

On the first night, I met new friend Susan Mernit at this very cute and fabulous wine bar in Palo Alto, Vino Locale, and then later went out with some old buddies (all guys) from college whom some I hadn't seen in 15 years. We played pool, drank beers, laughed, and I felt not only happy but relieved that I did not have to write any posts before getting to bed. It was also fabulous to hang out with a group of men who I felt completely safe with. It reminded me that you can hang out with a group of men and NOT feel like a sexual target.

And this led me to the second night, where it started to dawn on me that perhaps, I may be using the Internet to curb emotional issues much like I've used food in the same manner...

Walk Day #18: Ye gads! Walking to the grocery store

Captain's Log: 03212008 Day #18 of 30 Total Walk Time: 1hour 45 minutes

I say Ye gads walking to the grocery store mainly because unless you live in a metro city with good public transportation, most of us in suburb type living drive to the grocery store even if it is only down the street. Remember the movie LA Story? I went to a Safeway that was 1.75 miles one way, so that gave me a good 3.50 mile walk.

In the store, I heard some really beautiful bird singing, and thought how cool it was that Safeway was piping in bird sounds. It's so Zen. But then I saw a real bird fly by me, and swoop up to the ceiling. Here he is pearched at the top singing his heart out. More likely he was chirping, "How the hell do I get out of this place? Can someone help a brotha out?!"

I almost turned around during my walk because the wind was blowing somewhere around 25 mph and it's still slightly chilly. I was not liking the wind but it wasn't that bad just kinda annoying. But then I got to thinking of some of you who have been training for your 10ks and half marathons running in the snow and sleet, and I thought, "Damn, I'm being some California whimp. Toughen up, and take the wind." So I did, and it was only slightly challenging getting to the store. Coming back was a breeze because the wind was pushing me from behind.

I had a really good walk, and am glad I went. It's still hitting me that Spring is here. I still feel like New Year's was last week. Man how time flies! One on the songs I listened to on the iPod was "The Funeral" by Band of Horses. You've heard this song on all kinds of TV shows and commercials. Recently, the song  was on an episode of NUMB3RS where the hot FBI guys save a kidnapped reporter. Love this song! Get it on

Walk Day #17: Dinners with the ex's (Two of them)

Captain's Log: 03202008 Day #17 of 30 Total Walk Time: 15 minutes

Ok, I only did 15 minutes but 15 is better than zero, no? I woke up in a major funk not just because of the insomnia thing but because I don't know. You know how funk just seems to crawl up on you without you noticing first thing in the morning. You just wake up feeling the funk. You're not depressed, but not happy. You're not sad, but not glad. You don't feel yucky, but you're not tiptop. It's almost like your stuck in a pergatory of beingness. That was my morning.

This week has been a unique flavor. I had dinner with Matt last night and dinner a few nights ago with Mustang (I'll call him that since that was the car he drove when we dated in college). It was kind of ironic because Mustang was my first boyfriend, ever, and he was the one that de-flowered me in the biblical sense. We had a very tumultuous relationship, and we broke up because I basically caught him in bed with one of his co-workers, and he started dating her before he broke up with me, and even took her out with our friends. Oh yes, all the friends knew before me. Yeah. REALLY bad. Consequently, he married that woman and they are still married with a kid.

How we turned all that around and became friends once again really is a story of miracles which I can elaborate on later on. But for now, I'll just say this. People, okay what I really mean is guys, dudes, men, can change and they can express regret, sorrow, and ask for forgiveness and mean it. It took years, but Mustang kept at it and as we both matured and he proved that he genuinely meant it when he told me that I have always been someone important to him. He just didn't know how to do it when he was a stupid mixed 20-something as he put it. It is because of Mustang that I pursued my design career when my folks were trying to pressure me to be a doctor.

Mustang and I ate at this Clay Pot place where you have to literally cook your food at your table. It was actually quite fun although my hair was filled with hibachi smell when we left. Later we hung out and chatted about life, the fond parts of the old days, and I showed him my vision for my blogging business. We met as 20 year olds and here we were now hanging out as 40 year olds. It was a great trip between the past and the present.

Last night, I had dinner with Matt because I had some mail from what used to be our place (he still lives there), so he swung by after work and we ate Japanese. Now, Matt and I share this South Park adolescent kind of sense of humor and when we got to this restaurant we couldn't help giggle like two 13-year-old boys at the name of the place. What we saw was Fuk-U-Ya! So yeah, we have sophomoric humor.

We had a great time, laughing and giggling, and catching up on our daily lives. It felt like the early days when we started dating. I've been wondering if one of the reasons I've been having insomnia is because I really miss being with Matt. I really miss having him in the bed next to me keeping me warm and safe. I always slept soundly with him in the bed.

So, dinner with two ex's within a few days of each other was on one hand really weird, but also really kinda cool. I'm actually friends will all my ex's except for one, which I take as a testament that my relationships with these men, although they did not work out romantically, really were based on a solid foundation of friendship and mutual admiration. Now, I just have to find the one where I can have both that solid foundation and the til death do us part. I really would love that.

Weigh-in Wed: #42 "3 months into maintenance mode"

I haven't done a Weigh-In Wed video in awhile, so I thought now would be a good time to give everyone a status as to where I am 3 months into maintenance mode. My apartment is a little messy, but what the heck, I'm giving you a peek into my homey-ness.

My goal is to get to a point where I am no longer consciously in "maintenace mode" but moved into a mental place of where I don't even think about my weight every day anymore because I've created healthy lifestyle habits that keeps my weight stabilized. That would be the ideal!

In today's video, I talk about where I'm at pound wise, what I've been doing for exercise and food, and I talk briefly about my bit with insomnia. I am open to any tips anyone has about alleviating insomnia. (video 3min 56sec)

The difference between "weight loss" and "weight management"

The other day I was thinking more about the difference between "weight loss" and "weight management" after having to classify my blog for one of those blog directory thingies. Under "Health," the typical subcategories are either diets or weight loss, and to me Back in Skinny Jeans is not really either. Yes, I talk about diets, dieting, and weight loss, and offer tips and ideas but I'm not a program nor do I follow one. I'm not about deprivation or restriction, but balance and moderation. I also try to focus more on long term success versus short term gain.

Unlike many diet and weight loss philosophies, I believe in a more holistic approach that includes body, mind, and spirit and how all three influence and affect your weight plus your overall well-being.This I consider more management of one's overall heath because as soon as you start to create a healthier body and lifestyle one of the natural effects is the shedding of unnecessary pounds.

To me the difference between "weight loss" and "weight management" is primarily mindset and perspective, and I think understanding the difference can help you achieve your healthy weight goals and keep the pounds off for good. It definitely has helped me. Here is my two cents on some of the differences between the two:

Weight Loss Mindset

• It's more about image. Primary motivation is to fit into an idealized image of beauty or handsomeness.
• Food plans are primarily based on restriction, deprivation, and short term use to achieve desired image. Restriction triggers body into survival mode like lowering metabolism.
• Tactics are based primarily on fast, short term results. Not much consideration for maintenance afterward, long term lifestyle habits, or state of overall health.
• There is an ending point. Most diet plans are short lived.
• The focus is on numbers: pounds, inches, dress size
• There is an emotional sense of urgency, anxiousness, or self-criticism.
• Pounds yo-yo over time

Weight Management Mindset

• It's more about wellness. Primary motivation is to create a healthy body.
• Food plans are designed for lifelong eating that healthily supports your body, and maintain your desired weight. There is room for flexibility.
  
• Tactics are based primarily on creating lifelong healthy lifestyle habits
• There is no ending point. Creating a healthy lifestyle lasts a lifetime.
• The focus is holistic. How you feel: mind, body, spirit
• There is an emotional sense of well being, vitality, or self-loving.
• Pounds stay off for good.

A quick way to do a gut check is to ask yourself some simple questions like:

Walk Day #16: Who can walk 30 minutes every day for the rest of their life?

Captain's Log: 03172008 Day #16 of 30 Total Walk Time: I think 20-ish minutes

Confession time. The only walking I did yesterday was to my car and through Whole Foods to buy some grub. While there, I took a picture of some purple asparagus called Purple Haize. Cool, huh? If walking around a grocery store counts as walking then I did about 20-ish minutes. On Sunday, I walked for 10 minutes before I decided it was too cold and I was too tired because I have this insomnia thing going on and didn't sleep until 5am. My body was all jacked up the rest of the day because of the sleep deprivation.

Honestly, trying to walk every day for 30 minutes is proving much harder than I thought. When I was working on dropping those 25 lbs, I would workout 5 days a week and take 2 rest days off. I'm discovering now just how much I looked forward to those 2 days off.

So, this notion that the Healthorati say of walking every day for at least 30 minutes for the rest of my life to maintain a healthy weight is not as easy as it sounds. Don't get me wrong, I like walking and think it is really awesome exercise but to walk every day, is a lot, at least to me. If you can do it, more power to you! I applaud you. I like having my 2-3 days of non-exercise. I'll kick ass during my 4-5 workouts a week, as that is working just fine at the moment. I think the issue more than anything is variety. I need to mix it up, and I have a hard time doing the same thing day after day. We can always revisit the walking every day thing.

Coincidentally, the insomnia thing started when I started this Great Walking experiment. But we also had the time change thing a week later, and then I was stressed about getting my post on why I left my tech career finally published. I HAD to publish that post, and I'm so glad I did it because it lifted a huge load, but man-o-man the process of getting it written was like pulling teeth with my psyche.

The Inner Resistance Monster was kicking in big time. He and I duked it out several times, but I won because I told him that it really is in both our interests that I heal this work thing because it is affecting our present and causing money stress. It didn't hurt either to do a WWF Body Slam with the IR Monster to get my point across.

I said I would try and walk for 30 days so I only got 14 days left and I'm going to stick with it. When I do get outside it is fun and relaxing, and I've been having a blast taking pictures. In front of the public City Library where I live are some brick tiles with quotes. This one I thought was really cool.