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Fellow lady bloggers, the BlogHer Conference '06 is coming up here in San Jose. If you plan on attending, go register now, as they have stated in their website that Day One spaces are running out already. Locals are probably waiting til last minute, so go sign-up now.
I plan on being there for the two days. If any Back in Skinny Jeans readers plan on attending, let me know. I'd love to say hello!
What's one of the most embarrassing things you can imagine at work involving one of your thongs? Well, one of mine happened today, and the worst part is that I don't know if anyone else noticed besides me. What happened was one of those things where no one says anything because they want to be polite, they don't want to "go there" OR they really didn't see anything. However, you are not going to ask anyone because then you open yourself to full on, I'm totally red in the face mortification.
As a backdrop, I work at a start-up and there are only about 14 of us, 3 women and the rest guys, engineering guys for that matter. Fortunately for me, all the guys I work with are very respectful of women and polite. Okay, there may be a comment or two here and there, but overall, the guys are trained well. I've been in work environments where it felt like you were the first woman allowed into the football locker room.
Anyway, I was wearing a pair of Levis that I wore a couple days ago. These jeans are baggy on me, and I love them because they are comfy. My desk is an open area in front of the co-founders office, and in the middle of a high traffic area where other people sit. I went to go to the bathroom, and when I came walking back to my desk, right on the side open to everyone, I saw on the floor a bunched pair of pink thong. I recognized it immediately. Oh my gawd! If anyone saw the thong, it so obviously had to belong to me because it was right at my desk near the chair. My heart started to pound, and I could feel my body temperature quickly rising. Now, this pink thong wasn't a pair I wore today. It must have found it's way into one of my pant legs during laundry, and I didn't notice it when I put my jeans this morning because they are small and unobtrusive. Geez!
There were a couple guys chatting near my desk, and then a third co-worker, a guy, who started asking me questions about an upcoming deadline. I heard nothing out of his mouth except wa-wa-wah, wa-wah because my attention was on stealth mode on picking up my thong and immediately hiding it. I had to think fast and cleverly because it would require me to bend down to pick up the thong, and talking dude would have followed my body action and saw what I was going after, as he soooo noticed that I really wasn't listening to him.
Cleverly and quickly, I told gabby co-worker that I thought so-and-so "over there" would know exactly what he needed. As I said so-and-so's name, I pointed and moved my whole body in that person's direction, as to literally guide motor mouth's attention far away from my thong. As he started to walk in the direction I pointed at, I swiftly scoped up my thong, and shoved it into my pocket. I looked back at the two guys still chatting, and they looked back at me smiling. BUT DAMMIT! I don't know if they were smiling because they saw the thong, or because I was smiling back at them. We just did the head nod thing, and I plunked down in my desk chair. There were small trickles of sweat rolling down my face. I wanted so desperately to know if they knew. But, there was also no way in hell that I was going to ask. In this instance, I encased myself in the wall of silence, and went about my day as if nothing ever happened ;-)
I didn't have a real cake on my birthday last week. Normally, my mom would do the whole cake thing but the folks were out of town. It's funny, my brothers and I will be 65 years old (one day in the way future) and mom will still be doing the birthday cake and pictures with her "babies." I had lunch with my friend Tim, who's an Aries b-day as well. He's the wonder behind all the technical aspects of my blog. I do not do code, so Timmy does it for me. Bless him. We stopped in at Starbucks after eating at BJs, and I saw this beautiful cupcake. It was bright yellow and white with a sugar flower on top. It looked so happy sitting there in the glass case with the other sweet delectables. So, I got the cupcake and made it my official birthday "cake". The c-cake is so not part of the skinny jeans plan, but what the hell. Today, I'm bravura.
If ya haven't noticed, Starbucks is promoting this Spelling Bee movie, so they are putting all these really long, ambiguous sounding words on their cardboard holders. Today's word was cambist: an expert trader who rapidly buys and sells currency throughout the day. Use that word in a pick up line in a crowded noisy bar, "Hi, I'm a cambist."..."You're a what?"...."A cambist"...."You're a cannabis. Isn't that a dooby?"...Oh geez!
Do you know what your place in the world is? I've been thinking a great deal about this in my own life. I know many people who start hitting their late 30's and get real serious about this question. My guess is that we are getting older, and start feeling that time is closing in on us, yet at the same time, know that we are still young enough to do something about it. So, in an effort to get going we'll make big decisions and start by doing things like switching careers, getting divorced, putting all out stuff in storage and finally go on that world tour, or get a makeover.
I wonder about life purpose all the time. You see books, tapes, and courses all over the place about finding your life purpose or living your life purpose. I've met people who have figured out what that purpose is for them, and are living that purpose. I find it really exciting talking to someone like that. It's inspiring to be around that kind of energy. I personally, am not completely lost when it comes to my purpose or place in the world. I have a direction and idea but not some kind of stick in the ground yet. It's a scary place to be and an exciting one at the same time. It's kind of like a roller coaster but in the good fun way.
Someone told me the story of Lucille Ball, where she always wanted to be in acting, but her career wasn't going anywhere because she wasn't pretty enough or glamorous enough to get the leading lady roles in major movies like the big actresses of her time. Then she met Desi, and he told her that comedy is where she should be and not drama. She switched to comedy, and the rest is history. I feel the same way. Like I found my industry, but not my niche. Do any of you feel that way? Or did you at one point, but found your groove?
So I did my skinny jeans exercise Sunday. As a backdrop, in my magical skinny jeans life, the following things exist:
So given that, I mentally shifted my perspective. I took some acting classes 2 years ago, so I used some of the exercises to get me "in character." I find, for me , that doing visualization exercises are more affective when I'm pretending to be a character instead of myself, although the character I am playing is myself. I just imagine it's another person. That works for me, it could be different for you.
Matt and I spent the weekend with his family, for sis's birthday, and for relaxation. The folks have an awesome pad, and Matt's family is really fun. On Sunday, we went to brunch, so I decided to order corned beef hash with toast, eggs, and hash browns. Normally, I would get the oatmeal or fruit plate, but today, since we're living the skinny jeans life, I can eat whatever I want, so I ordered what I REALLY wanted. When the food arrived, ironically, I ate only a few bites. It just wasn't that appetizing. It was like that the whole day. I let myself eat whatever I wanted without any censorship or lectures from my guilt, and when I got the food on my plate, it wasn't that appealing. In fact, I was more interested in chatting and socializing with everyone else. To sound cliche, I was really in the moment with the people I was with instead of fretting about what food I ate, how much weight I'd gain, or how many miles I'd have to run to burn off all the calories I just consumed. It was wonderful to be free of the calorie counting.
On the clothes side, I just imagined that whatever I was wearing looked hot on me. Normally, I would start with some kind of critique of my look, and then end with some kind of wish that I was thinner. But today, in my head, I am already thinner so I behaved like I would have it were true. While looking in the mirror, I admired what I liked about myself. I felt proud in my skin, and I stood up straighter. I notice that when I'm heavier, I slump all the time. When I'm thinner, I stand taller. It's a confidence thing.
One of the things I love about dating Matt is that he thinks I'm pretty as I am. I've gained weight since we started dating but it doesn't bother him. He has never made any comments about my appearance in a negative way. In fact, he's the first man I've dated where I have not been insecure about my looks in any way. I don't worry about him leaving me for a prettier girl, or worrying about whether he thinks I'm fat, old, or whatever. Perhaps it's my own growth in my confidence over the years coupled with the fact that I finally found a man who loves me for the inside and not the outside. So, in the man department, I didn't have to imagine my relationship in my skinny jeans dream. I already have it.
The exercise was interesting. I was thinking though, for me, is that I need to do this exercise while I am shopping for clothes in the mall. Today, shopping for clothes is the worst for me. It puts me in a depressing and glum mood. Peppy Stephanie quickly disappears, and grumpy Stephanie moves in. Definitely not pretty. Shopping for an outfit, especially now that summer is coming upon us with all the skimpy clothes, will be the next challenge.
Here are some refreshing drinks that I have been imbibing lately, that do not have artificial ingredients, mainly the artificial sweeteners. Give these a try if you are looking to wean off anything with artificial ingredients. I'm still trying to break my Diet Coke habit. Now, I'm down to about 5 cans a week.
If you're sensitive about sugar content, do check the labels of these drinks. Drinks marked with an * are my personal faves. The Original flavor Sweet Leaf Tea is my all time favorite at the moment. I drink bottles of the stuff cause it's so yummy!
Vitamin Water
Flavors:
Fruit Water
Flavors:
Sweet Leaf Tea (I call it Grandma's because of the sweet lady on the label)
Flavors:
Fuze Teas
Flavors:
Lorina
Flavors:
Whole Foods 365 sodas (These are sugary but there's no high fructose corn syrup)
Hint Water (Need to drink these cold. When warm, the experience is okay but not great)
Flavors:
If you have any favorite drinks that contain no artificial ingredients, please let us know. We love trying new drinks!
Here's a picture of my Mattie which I took with my new Nikon D50 camera. Mom & Dad got it for me for my birthday. They are the best. I added the Dooce Effect to the pic, and whala! Ain't that a great smile.
Here's an exercise to try. This is going to be an acting exercise, and it will be fun and enlightening.
Pick one day, one 24 hour period. It doesn't matter if it's a weekday or weekend. During that day, you are going to be the lead actor/actress in a movie about you called, "I'm in my skinny jeans." Go about your day like any other day, but in this special 24 hour period you are going to live your life like you ALREADY fit back into your skinny jeans. Even if you are many sizes away from your skinny jeans, in your head for this one day, you are totally there. There's no more dreaming, waiting, or being afraid. You are going to act, behave, and feel like the skinny jeans dream has come true. For many of you, you have gotten back into the skinny jeans before, so go back and remember what those feelings were, and feel them again. I know for me, as an example, when I was in my skinny jeans, I never felt nervous meeting new people. I was more confident talking to strangers.
I'm going to do this exercise too, and my day is going to be this Sunday. I'll let you know what I did, and what happened. The point of this exercise is to take a brief moment and move forward. No more waiting and dreaming for a life we want to live until we get thin. Let's get a taste today.
Yesterday was the first time I have ever stepped into a Ross: Dress for Less store. After work I decided to go straight to my favorite Chinese restaurant and get me some Hong Kong style chow mein, sesame chicken, and fried rice made without soy sauce. TIP: If you want to cut down on the sodium in fried rice, ask them to cook it without soy sauce. It's still really good.
Anyway, the food was going to take about 15 minutes, so I decided to pop into the Ross next door. Oh...my....gawd!...So, I'm just going to say it out loud and just bring my snobbish, conceited, side to light here. I felt like I just stepped foot into a Rosanne Barr, trailer trash nightmare. There was just piles and piles of shit everywhere. Stuff was spewed on the floor, hanging half off the racks, or crammed onto shelves like a yard sale at Aunt Gertie's house, the crazy cat lady who collects porcelain figurines of clowns. If I were one of these frou-frou designers, and saw my beautiful creations end up here, I think I would just have a Mommie Dearest, wire hanger tizzy.
And let's take a look at the people inside, the shoppers and the employees. Now, I cannot go too off on the people in there too much because I too was in there and it isn't nice to make fun of other people less fortunate than you....but what the hell, I'm Catholic. I'll just go to confession, say some Hail Mary's and Our Father's, and all will be forgiven....Oh...my...gawd!...This older lady had curlers in her hair underneath a scarf. I haven't seen a blue hair in curlers at the store in years. Oh, and it was those big nasty pink curlers. I looked down to see if she was wearing the bedroom slippers because that would have just been priceless. Unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky.
Then there were these two Latina gals who could have been sisters or cousins, but both of them were wearing jeans and tank tops that were about 2 sizes too small, and made them look like sausages who were busting out of their casings. The scary part is that they got dressed in these hideous outfits, looked in the mirror, and nodded, "Yeah, I'm hot!" Now I have nothing against big women dressing sexy, but please, ladies, have some taste. Torrid has some pretty cool stuff. Wearing something 2 sizes too small with your gut hanging off in every direction is flat out UNATTRACTIVE. It's a Glamour mag DON'T in a ginormous way. In fact, while I'm on the topic, every woman in that store could have been in one of those Glamour DON'T pictures.
Needless to say, I won't be going back to a Ross store. I love Tar-jay, so my love there is secure. The Bulls eye in the sky is my thing.
Could you imagine any of the Sex in the city gals with 3 cats. Hell no! If that happened to Carrie, she would absolutely be at brunch on Sunday declaring at the table, "I have turned into the spinster cat lady!" Charlotte would be the first to say that there's nothing wrong with being single and having a cat. Then Carrie would snark back, "But, I have 3 cats. Three. See my fingers, three cats." Then pan back the camera and watch Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha immediately shrug their shoulders in disgust all at the same time, and go "Yeah! 3 cats. Totally spinster cat ladyish."
Even worse for a woman to have 3 or more cats, is a man with 3 or more cats. Definitely a momma's boy or completely gay. Either way, again, definitely not marriage material for a straight, hip woman. No cool, hip, manly man you'd like to bump uglies with all night would have 3 or more cats. No way! Never happened! Uh-uh! Try telling your girlfriends at brunch that your new man has 3 cats, and quickly watch their faces go limp and bug-eyed. "Girl, we need to talk."
the picture: Baby, the cat that lives with Matt and I
Posted by Stephanie Quilao on Apr 30, 2006 in Skinny commentary & news | Permalink | Comments (0)
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