What's one of the most embarrassing things you can imagine at work involving one of your thongs? Well, one of mine happened today, and the worst part is that I don't know if anyone else noticed besides me. What happened was one of those things where no one says anything because they want to be polite, they don't want to "go there" OR they really didn't see anything. However, you are not going to ask anyone because then you open yourself to full on, I'm totally red in the face mortification.
As a backdrop, I work at a start-up and there are only about 14 of us, 3 women and the rest guys, engineering guys for that matter. Fortunately for me, all the guys I work with are very respectful of women and polite. Okay, there may be a comment or two here and there, but overall, the guys are trained well. I've been in work environments where it felt like you were the first woman allowed into the football locker room.
Anyway, I was wearing a pair of Levis that I wore a couple days ago. These jeans are baggy on me, and I love them because they are comfy. My desk is an open area in front of the co-founders office, and in the middle of a high traffic area where other people sit. I went to go to the bathroom, and when I came walking back to my desk, right on the side open to everyone, I saw on the floor a bunched pair of pink thong. I recognized it immediately. Oh my gawd! If anyone saw the thong, it so obviously had to belong to me because it was right at my desk near the chair. My heart started to pound, and I could feel my body temperature quickly rising. Now, this pink thong wasn't a pair I wore today. It must have found it's way into one of my pant legs during laundry, and I didn't notice it when I put my jeans this morning because they are small and unobtrusive. Geez!
There were a couple guys chatting near my desk, and then a third co-worker, a guy, who started asking me questions about an upcoming deadline. I heard nothing out of his mouth except wa-wa-wah, wa-wah because my attention was on stealth mode on picking up my thong and immediately hiding it. I had to think fast and cleverly because it would require me to bend down to pick up the thong, and talking dude would have followed my body action and saw what I was going after, as he soooo noticed that I really wasn't listening to him.
Cleverly and quickly, I told gabby co-worker that I thought so-and-so "over there" would know exactly what he needed. As I said so-and-so's name, I pointed and moved my whole body in that person's direction, as to literally guide motor mouth's attention far away from my thong. As he started to walk in the direction I pointed at, I swiftly scoped up my thong, and shoved it into my pocket. I looked back at the two guys still chatting, and they looked back at me smiling. BUT DAMMIT! I don't know if they were smiling because they saw the thong, or because I was smiling back at them. We just did the head nod thing, and I plunked down in my desk chair. There were small trickles of sweat rolling down my face. I wanted so desperately to know if they knew. But, there was also no way in hell that I was going to ask. In this instance, I encased myself in the wall of silence, and went about my day as if nothing ever happened ;-)
