So last week, I shared that I was beginning a journey to say bye-bye to 25 extra pounds that are lingering on my 5'7" frame. I started the actual journey on May 30, and have this far dropped 3 pounds and 1/2" from my gut. Yeah! I wanted to wait a couple weeks and see how comfortable I was about sharing this part of my life in the blogosphere because once you put it out there, it's out there, and there is now a level of accountability which is both supportive and scary.
I say scary because now lots of people are watching you, lots of people, and it would be easy to fall into the trap of wanting to make this weight loss journey of mine to be "perfect" like what we commonly see in the advertorial type weight loss journeys (paid by companies) where the person losing weight is doing everything right, never lapses or plateaus, or is constantly motivated.
Personally, in these weight loss success stories I'd like to see more of the ugly, hard life stuff that happened between the "before" and "after" because that is where I need help in the most. I want to see the frustration, the crying, the wanting to give up, and then I want to see what they did to get themselves back on track moving forward. Basically, I want to see "the middle". We all get to enjoy the befores and afters, but I am more interested in the middle part where the actual hard work is taking place. Then, I would love to see "a year later" follow up to see where they are now and if they have maintained their new figures. Of course, I realize to some degree that I am living in La-La land with that expectation but hey one can wish.
So, during my journey, I decided that I am going to share the successes, the fall downs, and "the middle." I'm going to be human in what I write about this weight shedding journey of mine because it is tough work and it will all not go according to plan or be pretty. We'll have good days and days where we feel like giving up, but the goal for every day will be to be loving to myself and "How can I be the best me today?"
And when I say the best me, that means being the real me, not the perfect me I think other people want me or expect me to be. Being a recovering perfectionist, I never allowed myself to show anything that wasn't "pretty or nice." I didn't show anger, disappointment, or that I didn't know the answer. This is one reason I ate when I wasn't hungry. I ate to stuff the "ugly" emotions that perfect women are not supposed to show. I know now that this crap, but it took me a long time and a great deal of trust to believe that people will still love me, respect me, and stick around when all is not perfect. In fact, I found that when I let all the real stuff show, it made my personal relationships far more healthy and interesting (in a good way ;-)
