You know you are getting fat when you discover that you have back boobs so big that they need their own bra. You even ponder what their cup size might be. In this case, you're thrilled to have an A cup. Scary reality time. Just like you don't want the girls in the front swinging around free like monkeys at the zoo, the back boobs can't be bouncing like the equally fleshy Ta-tas in the front.
The worst part is the realization that you can no longer wear any of those cute white clingy t-shirts with your low cut jeans. No. It's not cute anymore when your back boobs and muffin top are making you look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow man in that white t-shirt. Marshmallow man is cute but what woman wants to look like a puffy white confection in denim.
Pears are lucky in that they don't suffer from the back boob dilemma as much as us Apples. The pears have a different kind of nightmare going on down south. Where Pears are wishing the Thighmaster will be some kind of magic bullet, Apples are falling for those Corti-slim type pills that promise to melt away the belly fat. If the belly fat is gone that means the back fat goes too because you can't have a gut without back boobs.
And we women are not alone in the back boob pickle. Guys feel the pain too. Ever hugged a man with back boobs, and secretly copped a feel? I bet ya did. But we're not telling. No sirree!
