Healing from anything whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual is a process that takes time, and involves ups & downs. However, the down times can sometimes feel demoralizing and frustrating. In fact, there are times when you probably feel like you are actually going backwards instead of moving forward and getting better. This typically happens when you've been doing the work for quite awhile, and have been enjoying continued progress, then for whatever reason you stall, plateau, or worse feel like your doing a reverse.
Awhile back, one of my healers, showed me the healing curve which helped me see the bigger picture during a time when I felt like all the hard work I was putting into getting my physical and emotional self better was going to waste. I was hitting some new challenges in my healing and was feeling like I was "messing up" instead of getting better. The perfectionist in me was berating myself, and not able to see the bigger picture.
My healer drew me the healing curve, and when I saw that in the grander scheme of things I was actually still way ahead from when and where I started, my inner critic died down, and I felt much better again about my progress. It's easy to get lost and frustrated in the woods when you can't see the whole forrest.
In your weight loss journey, if you are currently going through a period where you are either plateauing or gaining back the weight you shed, draw yourself a healing curve, and see visually if you are truly going backwards. If on your curve, you are still above where you started, then you are still ahead. If you find yourself below where you started, then you have gone backwards and need to re-examine.
For example, if you started out at 200 pounds and dropped down to 150 but then went back up to 170. You may feel like you're failing at getting to your goal of 140. But if you drew your healing curve, you will see that in the big picture, at 170 you are still ahead of the 200 where you started. You are still a weight loss winner. The 20 pound weight gain is merely a dip in the overall process of you getting to your 140 goal. Now, you will have to examine why those 20 pounds came back on, and what you can do to get back on track.
So, what do you do if you find that you are below where you started?
You started at 200 pounds, dropped to 150, but then gained 75 to
bring you to 225 pounds. According to the healing curve you are now in
the backwards area. What do you do? First, be kind to yourself, and do
not start the punishing and berating game. Calling yourself names and
hating yourself is not going to help you in any way except to add to
your self loathing.
This is the time when you need to be kind yet firm with yourself, and then begin to ask the hard
questions, and be real with yourself. Taking that hard look at yourself is not going to be easy, but necessary in order to achieve your goals. There are no short cuts. However, if you were brave enough to start this healing journey, you have it in you to do the tough work.
...Your setback could be something like a fear of failure or success...
In most cases, when we experience set backs there is something on a deeper emotional level going on. Instead of looking at your set back as something "bad" try looking it at as your soul's way of helping you by showing you what you need to work on in order to achieve your goal.
Your setback could be something like a fear of failure or success. Most people fret over failure, but many people don't realize they may actually have a fear of success until they actually are closer to their goals. In the weight loss example, if you got to 150 pounds only 10 pounds from your goal, you may have discovered that your girl friends were starting to be mean to you because of jealousy. They liked you better as the "fat friend" because you were less threatening. Or perhaps, men may be coming onto you sexually far more aggressively than you were prepared for, and all that sexual attention scared you or reminded you of a time when you are sexually abused or assaulted. You may have subconsciously put the weight back on because it felt safer being "fat."
Again, the point is to not be hard on yourself but to listen to your body and spirit, and behave like a partner in your own healing. You would never berate a friend going through this experience so why would you do that to yourself? Examining what is emotionally going on with you can be very heavy and intense, so it would be a wise idea to seek the aid of a therapist, doctor, or experienced healer. The point is to not tackle the hard parts by yourself. This professional person is your partner in prosperity and can help you get back on track. You can achieve your goals, and when it feels like you're going backwards, draw yourself a healing curve to help you see the "big picture."
