The Most Ridiculous Diets revisited

Over at Divine Caroline, they had an article about "The Top Ten Most Ridiculous Diets" and I agree that most on this list are ridiculous, but if I were to do the list, this is what my 10 would include.

The Lemon Water Detox Diet
This one is where you drink nothing but a concoction made of water, fresh lemons, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup. This one has been around for awhile but it got big attention when Beyonce used it to drop 20 lbs (reportedly) in 14 days to get in shape for her role in Dream Girls, and it has become popular with the models. This is really not a diet because, well, you're not actually eating anything. In my book, a true diet has to include some kind of food, and most importantly, a detox does not equal a diet. It's been really irritating to me how weight loss marketers are distorting detoxes with diets. A detox is short and temporary and diets can go on for long periods of time. Something to note. When Beyonce went back to eating regular food, those 20lbs came back faster than Britney's next outfit change.

The Kimkins Diet
This one is like Atkins but with creator Kimmer's twist. That twist is really eating somewhere between 500-1200 calories per day which if you're eating that low, you're going to lose weight. Is it a healthy way to lose weight, I'd say not. The biggie though was the scam scandal as "Kimmer" turned out to be not what she said she was. Kimmer claimed to have lost 198 lbs in 6 months on her diet creation and stayed at her new weight when really she had gained all the weight back but didn't tell anyone until she got "caught on film." Word of caution, don't pay money to be part of program riddled with scandal.

...You can't live on a liquid diet ...

Skinny Bitch
Now, lots of people liked this book, and this isn't an official "diet program" but the authors of this book sure talk like it is. Skinny Bitch became popular when Victoria Beckham and Jessica Alba were photographed holding the book. Basically the way to get skinny in the authors' opinion is become Vegan, and if you eat anything that is not vegan friendly then you are "a moron and you will become a sick fattie." Their words not mine. I'm not into anything that has "all or nothing" attitudes about food, and uses scare tactics via heavy political and philosophical retoric to get people out of their evil carcass consuming ways. I'm all for people wanting to chose a vegan lifestyle, but all the vegans I know made the change out of value issues surrounding animals not as a means to get skinny.

The Weight Loss Cure They Don't Want You to Know About
Based on the book of the same name, this isn't a "diet program" per say but a short term-type program where you can lose like 1lb a day practically. Author Kevin Trudeau shares the secret weight loss tactic of the uber rich and royalty. It's pee from pregnant women. Not kidding. Apparently, some scientist figured out that there is something in the pee of pregnant women that has some super duper magical fat blasting properties, so people are paying big bucks to get injections of some concoction of preggers pee and whatever. Sorry, but even during times of skinny desperation, I don't think I'd want a golden shower in my veins.

21 Pounds in 21 Days: The Martha's Vineyard Diet Detox
This gained notiriety when Robin Quivers, Howard Stern's side kick, dropped a lot of weight using this "program." In this one, you're not eating anything. You are doing a cleansing fast where you primarily consume fresh vegetable juices and that's about it. What sucks about this one is that it is based on some really good detox principles, but then they had to go slap the word "Diet" onto it to help make the book sell better.  Again, a detox does not equal a diet. The emphasis on the "Martha's Vineyard" panache is kind of sly because the creator of this diet Roni Deluz does work at the Martha's Vineyard Holistic Retreat, part of the renowned Martha's Vineyard Inn, so it's really about that specific retreat place not the whole area. Again, this is a marketing tactic to make the diet sound like it's part of the lives of the rich and famous. You can't drink vegetable juices the rest of your life, as eventually you''ll have to eat real food.

The Wu-Yi Tea Diet
If you pay attention to Google Ads, you will see ads all over the place for this weight loss Wu-Yi Tea "ancient Asian secret." The sites claim that big names like Oprah and the top women's health mags like Shape and Women's Fitness endorse this Wu-Yi  tea which of course you can only get from one particular company. Of course, you won't find any official endorsements on the real sites. They probably heard from a friend of a friend of Oprah's apartment doorman that she may have tried it, so hey, that's good enough, no? They claim you can drop 25 lbs in 2 months with diet, exercise, and the "magical" tea that melts the fat right off. This case is an example of where someone takes something based on Traditional Chinese Medicine (a good thing) and twists it into something highly commercial to suck people into spending money on a get-thin-quick scheme. Here's a great write up on "The truth about Wu-Yi Tea."

The Subway Sandwich Diet
Agree with Divine Caroline. Sorry Jared but no one can eat Subway the rest of their lives. Nice marketing try though.

Dr. Siegal's Cookie Diet
Agree with Divine Caroline. Okay, please! How can you honestly believe that cookies will set your fat free?

The Cabbage Soup Diet
Agree with Divine Caroline. Seriously, getting skinny is not worth having cabbage smelling farts.

Any other "diets" you think are ridiculous?