Back in skinny jeans

I'm quoted in LA Times on Yahoo Shine site for women

Okay, allow me to take a moment to share that the LA Times wrote an article, "Yahoo hopes women take a Shine to site" about Yahoo's new site for women Shine which officially launched today and which I raved about earlier. At the very end of the article, I am quoted on what I thought about Shine. It's pretty hilarious!

Ladies, and especially you bloggers, get on Shine now, set up your profile and start blogging. I've done two blog posts on Shine and have noticed some traffic to Back in Skinny Jeans and Noshtopia already. You can check out my Shine blog. So, sign up and start blogging!

Part I of II: How over-interneting is like over-eating

Last week, I mentioned that I was going to go "off the grid" for nearly five days to see just how much my Internet use and blogging was affecting this wicked case of insomnia I have been experiencing this month, and without further adieu, here's the results:

• On the first night, I went to bed at 11pm and woke at 9am-ish, and it was the best night of sleep I have had in a month. The next night the insomnia kicked in, but the three nights after that I was back on a regular midnight to 9am-ish sleep routine.

• Therefore, my conclusion, the level at which I blog and use the Internet is having a much greater impact on my sleep than I ever imagined, and with the time off I got to probe, why?

On the first night, I met new friend Susan Mernit at this very cute and fabulous wine bar in Palo Alto, Vino Locale, and then later went out with some old buddies (all guys) from college whom some I hadn't seen in 15 years. We played pool, drank beers, laughed, and I felt not only happy but relieved that I did not have to write any posts before getting to bed. It was also fabulous to hang out with a group of men who I felt completely safe with. It reminded me that you can hang out with a group of men and NOT feel like a sexual target.

And this led me to the second night, where it started to dawn on me that perhaps, I may be using the Internet to curb emotional issues much like I've used food in the same manner...

Spring Break Can Trigger Eating Disorders and Binge Drinking

Spring Break for many girls means bikinis, short-shorts, and midriff baring attire, so you can imagine how that pressure to look good can trigger someone to go to extremes in order to fit in and look hot.

Pal Leslie of The Weighting Game was on the Today Show with Ashley, a young woman who at one time suffered from anorexia and bulimia issues in order to be thin for events like Spring Break. The ladies discuss how Spring Break can trigger eating disordered behavior, and on The Weighting Game, Leslie goes into more detail of her own personal experience with the pressures of Spring Break.

From my own personal experience another phenomena that goes hand in hand with the Spring Break frenzy to be thin is binge drinking. When you get to Spring Break and because you haven't been eating anything or very little for months in order to drop the weight, your body gets a severe shock when you start drinking right away, and the drunk buzz comes on after only one drink. The majority of calories that many girls will only consume during Spring Break comes from booze.

I've seen girls get completely plastered drunk because they see other girls who are thinner and prettier than they are, and so the depression and self-loathing sets in, and they don't want to feel that pain, so it's easy to get drunk and not deal. Besides being destructive to the body, the big danger with this kind of drinking is that this makes the girl more susceptible to young men with ill intentions, so things like rape and sexual assault are not uncommon during Spring Break.

By all means have fun at Spring Break, but take with you some of these pointers:

Tiny inspiring signs: Smile more

The post I wrote, "When others think you look hot, yet you did not nothing to glam up" got me really thinking about natural beauty and how we so often think we need to put on the face paint and do up the hair in order to feel attractive. The real trick is to just feel attractive and confident inside and it will radiate out far better than any makeup or highlights. The guys sure think so!

So this week's theme will be on natural beauty. Although the sign on "Less is More" can be applied to your life in general as well:

When your Asian Aunties remind you that you have too much rice on your plate

In every Asian family, there is always an aunt or two who take it upon themselves to remind you, especially at family gatherings in front of everyone, of how much weight you've put on, and that you would be so pretty if you just lost weight. These aunties are not even discreet about it because well, in their minds, at least, they are doing their job. Been there?

I'm proud to say that my friend Camy's second book is out now, Only Uni, and in the book their are examples of the kind of body image issues that Asian women commonly deal with like the pestering aunts. I'm excited to have Camy join us today for a guest post, and you lucky readers have a chance to win a free copy of Only Uni over at Camy's blog.
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I’m so honored to be guest blogging for Steph today! A lot of what she talks about on her blog are issues that I—and, consequently, my characters—deal with about our own body images. 

I’m sure this happens in other ethnic groups, too, but one thing many Asian American women face is some harsh criticism from their families about their weight and looks. 

Most family members aren’t being deliberately malicious, but pointed remarks about the extra weight you’ve gained doesn’t exactly put you in a happy-happy-joy-joy frame of mind, especially before family dinners. 

I mean, why do I need someone to point out that my upper arms are quite large, or that I’m not as skinny as Cousin So-N-So? Is that going to somehow make me NOT snarf down a big plate of lo mein or inarizushi or lumpia? 

It’s hard to not let the remarks affect my self-esteem. Even if I’ve just gotten a bonus and promotion at work or had some type of personal success, an auntie’s harping about my weight makes me feel lower than rice paddy scum. That shouldn’t happen, because my identity is not caught up in the fact I’m larger than my sister or my cousin or his wife. 

The nagging is hard to ignore. It’s hard to remember that my worth is not dependent on my family’s opinion of my weight. 

I heard once that a person’s self-esteem is based on what they think the most important people in their lives think about them. If the most important people in my life are my nagging aunties, then my self-esteem is based on what they think of me. 

But if the most important people in my life are people like my friends, my significant other, my OTHER family members, then that helps me to focus on what I SHOULD be thinking about myself. 

It’s not a quick fix or a wand that bonks you on the head and ZAP! you don’t care anymore that Grandma thinks you now weigh more than Uncle SuSu. But it’s something to cling to as I’m gearing up for a family gathering, something to help my aunties’ comments only scratch a little before they slide off. 

Who are the most important people in your life? And what do they think of you?

Get Only Uni at Amazon.
 

Camy Tang is the loud Asian chick who writes loud Asian chick lit. She used to be a biologist, but now she is a staff worker for her church youth group and leads a worship team for Sunday service. She also runs the Story Sensei fiction critique service. At her blog, Camy gives away Christian novels every Monday and Thursday, and she ponders frivolous things like dumb dogs (namely, hers), coffee-geek husbands (no resemblance to her own...), the writing journey, Asiana, and anything else that comes to mind.

When you're feeling down, remember "Don't Give Up"

Riding on Monday's Tiny Inspiring signs, "Don't Give Up," here is the song, "Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush. Whenever I have those rock bottom feeling days, I listen to this song and it seriously does help me to not give up. More importantly, it gives me perspective. My favorite part of the song:

don't give up now
we're proud of who you are
don't give up
you know it's never been easy
don't give up
'cause I believe there's a place
there's a place where we belong

The reminder that always keeps me moving forward is the notion that going for your dreams is not easy, and it takes time and commitment, but if you do the work and keep moving forward even if it is baby steps, things will happen. Just don't give up. Love the song, get it on

Humor: When emotional baggage gets ridiculous

This is just too hilarious. Reminds me how my emotional baggage used to be trunks but now I've reduced it down to a few carry-on pieces. Unpacking those trunks was one of the best life things I've ever done!

Quote on madness

Nosh bites: Ways to still enjoy bread while saving on calories when dining out

Over at Noshtopia, here is the latest tips for eating wellness.

Want to partake of the bread basket at restaurants and still save on calories? Here's 6 tips to help you enjoy the bread without doing too much damage to your daily calorie count.

The Whole Foods in my area is featuring Filipino dishes this week including vegetarian versions of Adobo and Fresh Lumpia. Woo-hoo!

Check out one of the best clam chowders I have ever eaten. The Manila clams are still in the shell, and the chowder is light. If you're coming to San Francisco this summer, you must check out the Hog Oyster Bar.

Can too much Internet use lead to insomnia?

Are you experiencing insomnia and spend enormous amounts of time online? {raise my hand} That's me! For the rest of the week, I am going to take a break from blogging here at Back in Skinny Jeans and Noshtopia because I want to see how much blogging and my Internet usage is contributing to this wicked case of insomnia that I have been experiencing the last 2 weeks. I am curious for two reasons.

First, I have never in my entire life had any problems with sleep even during some of  the most stressful and anxious times of my life when I would have been more prone to insomnia. I am wondering if almost 3 years of intense internet use is now catching up to me. Second, one of the major causes of insomnia is over stimulation from things like caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, and exercise too close to bed. I have been wondering if the Internet could be consider a stimulus too. Makes sense.

This is how much a Pro Blogger can spend online
I am a pro level blogger who spends on average 8-12 hours online 5-6 days a week which is far more than most people. Here's what I typically do in a week:

• Write on average 5-6 blog posts @200-500 words/post a day 5 days/week. My week starts Sunday (so I can have Monday morning posts) and runs through Thursday. Weekends is Fri and Sat.
• Visit other blogs and comment. You have to constantly hit the Internet pavement so to speak in order to build traffic, develop relationships, and get link love.
• I read all my RSS feeds which I have about 100 active ones.
• I am researching for stories.
• I am doing market research for my business.
• I test or play with on average 1-3 new web apps or features a week to see what new things I can use for my blogs and my future blog network plus to retain more experience as a social media expert.
  
• I am social schmoozing on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and ocassionaly on Gather, Team Sugar, Wellesphere, Digg, and Flickr.
• I do all the graphic design on the blogs and the posts, including photo retouching on all the photos I take which is a growing number on Noshtopia.
• I do video and podcasts although I have laid low on that lately because editing is time consuming.
• I answer and send emails. I do my best to answer all the emails I get from readers. Sometimes I cannot because the number is growing faster than I can manage by myself. So, if I haven't answered you, please take no offense. I actually do appreciate follow ups, so don't be shy.
• Offline, I have been working on a couple books, and a product line as well as chipping away on the business plan for Thriving Media my internet business.

Whew! Over the years, I have also gotten better at organizing and managing my time. As you can see, I spend an enormous amount of time spent in front of a computer screen, and now that I look at the list in print, that is a great deal of stimulation. I also realize that I do need help because that is a load of work for one person. Writing 5-6 posts per day 5-days a week can be very stressful, and anxiety causing because if you want bigger traffic numbers you have to keep posting.

... I work hard to make my blogs uplifting places because I want people to leave feeling good, hopeful, or thought provoked in a meaningful way ...

Anxiety from Internet recognition affecting my sleep
Along with blogging, there is dealing with the haters, bashers, and spammers in comments which can take emotional toll and create anxiety which contributes to insomnia. Blogging has helped me grow a thicker skin, but still I'm human and honestly it does hurt when people leave hateful or vicious attacks. As my blogs get more popular, and I personally get more exposure, that also means way more exposure to personal attacks online and honestly, I don't know if I'm ready for that, can handle that, or want it. There is no class on how to handle Internet fame (good or bad). If there is, please let me know and I'll sign up.

I am particular about the blogs and sites I visit on a regular basis because I learned that if I am not careful, I start to get irritable, angry, and depressed if I spend too much time on blogs that are filled with negativity, anger, and antagonism. This has affected my sleep in the past. I purposely avoid the local and world news because most of it is really the selling of negative emotion. This is one reason I love RSS, so I can avoid much of the negativity in the news. But there are times, I will get sucked into some meme somewhere and before I know it I'm lost and 2 hours have gone by.

I spend my time on blogs that make me feel uplifted, good, and hopeful. I work hard to make Back in Skinny Jeans and Noshtopia uplifting places because I want people to leave feeling good, hopeful, or thought provoked in a meaningful way. I pay high attention to quality and nutrition (soul wise). If people are going to take time out of their busy day to visit my blogs, I want them to get good quality stuff. On average, readers spend 1 minute and 20 seconds on my blogs which is a high stickiness number.

Doing mini Internet Detoxes
On the weekends, I make it a point to take at least one full day away from the computer. I literally shut my laptop down and don't open it for 24-48 hours. I do this to help detox my brain, and it does help me refresh. But now with this insomnia, something new, I am wondering if my body is telling me that it cannot take this level of internet usage any more or perhaps I just need a really good long break.

So, I am going to experiment. Today and Thu, I am going to spend only 4 hours online total per day, and on Friday and Saturday, I am not going to go near the internet at all. I'm going for complete shut down. Because the Internet moves so fast, and pro level blogging can get intense, at times it feels like I'm on a treadmill set at one speed and I can't get off. I know this is not healthy.

Insomnia is a cumulation of a multitude of factors
I realize that this insomnia is not just one thing. I've already been addressing physical issues, and bed time routine schedules.I do know that anxiety has been a driving factor. I've been experiencing anxiety from a couple of things including money. Money anxiety is a big issue for many people. Honestly, I did the "Don't Give Up" theme for Monday's inspiring signs more for me because a part of me is that close to giving up on pro blogging as a living. My parents are lovingly helping me out of which I am eternally grateful.

This insomnia is a multitude of things, but I am doing this experiment because I am really curious just how much the internet usage and blogging is affecting me. We'll see. There will be a posting on Thu and Fri but just simple fun stuff that took cut & paste effort.

Have a great weekend everyone, and I'll be back on Monday with an update on what happened during my rest ;-)

PS. How your work life has affected your weight is still coming. I just had to delay it a bit because of this insomnia issue. Perils when you are a one-woman show. I appreciate everyone's patience!