This is just a Far Side comic strip in the making.
If I were a dead cow up in heaven looking back at what they made out of my skin, I would look at this shoe and say to myself, "So, this is my legacy? I'm a designer lizard pump with disco ball accents for $910 so that women can look like a couture space alien? God, I've paid my dues, can I go back as an editor for Vogue?"