Gotcha! Jezebel'€™s Matt Damon Snap Judgement was really a Rorschach test

Yesterday, I pointed out my disappointment in Jezebel's treatment of Matt Damon, and I got an email from Anna Holmes the Managing Editor of Jezebel. As a heads up, the email address was not Anna from Jezebel.com but a generic email so worst case it could be some imposter just trying to provoke us. I doubt it but who knows. For point's sake, let's assume it's really her. So, ala Gawker Media style, I am going to share Anna's email because it will shed more light on their position.

Stephanie,

I just read your post and of course, I see your point (you were not the
first to say it) but I have to say that your and other readers' reactions
aren't giving us much credit, if any. In fact, I find it
interesting/annoying that most people immediately assumed that we were
referring to Matt Damon's weight when, in fact, that Snap Judgment was, in
essence, a Rorschach test: would the readers think we were referring to the
state of Damon's body? Or perhaps his awful haircut and/or pervy moustache??
The result is that people (including yourself) jumped to the "worst", most
obvious conclusion - that we were referring to Matt's weight gain. Don't
think I didn't think all that through before the post went up, despite the
"Snap Judgment" title of this post!

You are entitled to your opinion, of course, and I appreciate the work you
do on your site but I'd urge you to consider that we're smarter than that,
that the headline was PURPOSEFULLY vague for reasons of brevity, homage,
and, most importantly, provocativeness, i.e., to see what people assumed we
were referring to. Looks like we got an answer.

Anna

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So, my emotional Snap Reaction to Anna'€™s email was, €"Oh dim us who didn'€™t give Jezebel more credit. Well thank you for enlightening me and making me feel small in the process. But aw, that was so nice of you to let me know you appreciate what I do on my blog."

In all fairness, I did point my finger at Jezebel, and Anna has every right to defend and explain the actions of her publication, and equally point the finger back at me. So be it. I understand that this is part of the game when you push the envelope. I decided to sit on this for some time to think objectively, and even put myself in Anna's shoes, to try and see her point of view, and even wait to see if they would let everyone else in on their Rorschach test. I am not afraid to be wrong and admit so if that is the case.

After much thought, in this Matt Damon case, Anna and I are going to have to agree to disagree. And although I do find the social experimentation angle fascinating indeed, the execution of this particular test was poor taste and damaging body image wise. But that could just be me, so let's see.

In my opinion, the context in which Jezebel wrote that post was no different than one of the popular girl€™s in high school girl doing this on her locker.

It's not smart, funny, or provocative. It's hurtful.

So now, let us put Anna in Matt's shoes.

Let's pretend that the picture is of Anna in her bathing suit after gaining some weight. So now, would you feel okay about this Anna if we did what you did to Matt? This is not offensive right? I am using similar "brevity, homage,and, most importantly, provocativeness" that you said Jezebel was using.

And just to show that I'm willing to be spotlighted as well. Here's a picture of me, last year 25 pounds heavier than I am today. But let's just say it's recent, and it's a picture of me having just gained 25 lbs for a movie role. Everyone is used to seeing me hot and slim, but now I'm 3 sizes bigger.

Now bloggers attack popular girl because they are offended after making the assumption that Stephanie is not doable because she gained weight because perhaps she eats too much sweets like the cake in the picture. But popular girl says, "Why do you assume we are talking about her eating just because there is a cake in the picture. Maybe we think she's sexually un-desirable just because of that ugly Gap turtleneck and Aqua Net big hair that reminds me of a bad White Snake video.You people don't give us enough credit for challenging your beauty assumptions." You may not be talking about my weight gain but you are still ridiculing me for being sexually undesirable. Who wants that, and how is that not hurtful?

Now, let's say the popular girl who did this to us gets called into the Principal's office and explains, "Well, principal, you're entitled to your point of view, but geez, you don'€™t give me any credit for being thoughtful about this. I just wanted to do a Rorschach test to see how people would react. See how people assume the worst. It just annoys me."

Principal says, "€œInteresting point. So, I am curious. Explain to me how you would feel if someone did this to you, and then said classmate justifies, '€˜What makes you think this was about you and your weight. It's not personal. I was just doing a social experiment and you had the best unflattering picture to get the most revealing reactions from people in a brief provocative way. See, I got my answers. I should get an A on my paper now."

That student only cares about getting a good grade even if it means hurting and embarrassing someone else in order to get it. Does that reasoning make these actions right or justifiable? To me, no, and that is what bothers me the most about this Matt Damon Snap Judgement piece is that Jezebel wanted to make a point at the expense of putting Matt Damon, in an unnecessary humiliating position and say it's not you it's us the readers and our short-sided interpretation. And then, you go back about your business putting out post after post highlighting how the media, institutions, and cultures put women in humiliating, embarassing, demeaning, and belittling positions. It's not right like you said in January. I'm just highlighting the same injustices and putting Jezebel on the same high bar you would like us to see you on.