In real life: What if the "other woman" looked like Eva Mendes

I was watching the trailer for the updated remake of the movie "The Women" featuring an all female star-packed cast with the likes of Meg Ryan (as Mary), Annette Benning, Bette Midler, Candace Bergen, Jada Pinkett Smith, Debra Messing, and Eva Mendes as Crystal the "other woman."

Yeah, Mary's hubbie is cheating on her with Crystal the perfume girl at the mall. In the clip, there is a moment where Crystal does the slow-mo sexy walk towards Mary's girlfriends who came to scope out the "other woman", and zOMG! Seriously, I'm not into chicks, but I would have sex with Crystal too.

So, that got me naturally thinking about real life. If your man (or lady) was cheating on you with someone that looked like Eva Mendes how would you feel? This is how I'd feel...

Honestly, my first reaction would be, "Holy shit! I can see why he cheated on me. That woman just oozes naughty uninhibited sex. I'd have sex with her too." And then all the insecurities would come rushing in because I'd be thinking, "No way can I compete with a woman that looks like that." I ain't gonna lie, beauty matters. Then, I'd probably go devour a box of Ho-Hos and half a gallon of Hagen Daz because that's what my old self would do. My new self would probably go cry for hours, call my therapist, and then make a dart board of Crystal's face. Ok, not pretty but it's better than stuffing my face with junk food.

When logic goes out the window

...one prime reason women can get so obsessed with looking hot, to keep our mate interested ...

Remember, logic or big picture thinking does not come into play at all in the initial finding out of the other women. Oh hell no! It's all illogical emotion. It's all about comparison. As women, most of us, the first thing we are gonna hone in on is her looks and compare her physical beauty to our own. So what if she works at the mall spritzing people, she looks like walking sex with those voluptuous lips and caliente curves, the kind we wish we had. She looks like she could be a Victoria Secret model or a Maxim Hottie, and we do not. We can see what our man sees in her physically and sexually because she looks like one of the women in the magazines we are trying so hard to emulate.

We'd fixate on everything we're lacking until we can get with our girlfriends who would remind us of all our wonderful qualities, and keep at it that our man was a lying cheating bastard, an asshole. We deserve better than this, and we are the victim here. He done us wrong. Ah! This is one reason we love our BFFs, they make us feel like the magnificence we are.

It's easier if the "other women" is less attractive than us

But really, if the other woman was not as pretty as we are, it would be easier to feel some level of betterness and our girlfriends could find all kinds of ways to put down her looks, but when she looks like Eva or some other unattainable-for-most-mortals kind of hot woman, then it's a toughie. Can you almost picture this scene in the movie:

Mary [to friends]:"Do you think she's prettier than me?"

Friends all pause and look at each other as if trying to connect via telekenisis as the proper thing to say because they know this one is a doozie.

Annette: Oh, that doesn't matter. She's a ho. She's a bitch. She's evil. You're better than her.

Debra: Yeah, she's evil, and I bet she gets really, really fat during her period.

Jada: Oh sure, girl. And besides who likes an ass that looks like it could fit two trunks.

Mary: Apparently my husband does.

Annette and Debra glare at Jada

Jada: Well, uh yeah. What I meant is that who wants hamburger when they got steak at home. Yeah, like what Paul Newman said.

Mary: Well it seems that he prefers to eat a salsa burger with jalapeno than a prime rib. Take out is more fun than eating at home. A round patty is easier to eat compared to a steak that requires more maintenance and utensils....

Just how powerful looks can be

See, how we (the scorned woman) could go on and on (and justify in our heads) about how the other woman is better than us merely because she has a beauty we don't. That's how powerful beauty and good looks are in our culture. We can even use them as weapons against our own self esteem. And that's one prime reason women can get so obsessed with looking hot, to keep our mate interested.

Never mind that he might care about other things besides looks, in our heads, it's all about the looks. And when we are older, and the hubbie cheats on us with a woman 10-20 years younger, double ouch. Yeah, it says a lot about him and his jerk choices, but how's that younger woman factor not going to get at a piece of ya? I know it's possible to get over this kind of betrayal because I've seen women get over this kind of rejection and hurt, but it does entail maturity, self confidence, and self love that needs to be mustered up when you feel devastated.

You will get over him (and her)

In the grand scheme of things, the beauty factor only lasts so long. That's right. In the beginning it may seem like everything, but long term, faithful, and happy relationships are built on solid foundations with timeless substance, and beauty is not one of those things because beauty fades. People get older, they wrinkle, gain weight, sag, and lose hair. When all that beauty is gone what is left?

True love is someone who is your teammate, a partner, someone who respects the vows they made. Even if they feel the need to move on, they will honor their promise to be honest and forthright, and end your relationship before moving to the next. They will do the right thing because they honor their integrity despite the un-comfortableness they and the other person will endure. Doing the right thing is never easy which is why breaking up can actually teach you something about someone's character including your own.

Over time, if you do the work, the hurt will heal, and you may even get to the point where you can see the whole incident as a blessing. I had a serious love cheat on me, and it devastated me for years. But now, I am SO glad that I didn't marry him, and ironically, he ended up cheating on his wife too and in our case his wife was a Crystal. So, that goes to show that even if your guy does leave you for a Crystal it doesn't mean they get to live happily ever after. In fact, you get the chance to go live an even better and prosperous life. The best revenge is to be happy on your terms.