Yesterday, the theme of the tiny inspiration signs was "Letting Go." So now, that's sounds like a great idea, but how do you go about taking action on letting go of whatever it is you need to release yourself from? Your Inner Resistance Monster is going to remind you of the fear, the pain, and the uncertainity of everything, but that's okay, that's the monster's job. Your job is to stay focused on moving forward. Here's some tips to start letting go.
- Take 5 minutes, lay down and close your eyes. Ask your Inner Resistance Monster to sit with you and have a conversation about the thing you need to let go of. However, in this debate, you will play devil's advo
cate. Your Inner Resistance Monster will give you every reason to stay in the safety albeit unhappy state of your current situation. You will come up with a counter reason for each response your IR Monster gives you. After awhile, you'll start to get a better perspective.
- On a piece of paper write down the thing you need to let go of, then take the paper, and rip it up, burn it, throw it into the ocean, or toss it into the trash. The physical act of letting go of even a piece of paper with your issue on it starts signaling your brain and psyche that you mean business.
- Get a piece of paper and write down 3 things that you will gain by letting go. You may think that there is nothing positive that can come out of letting go, but what if someone told you your life depended on you coming up with those 3 positive things. All of a sudden, you'd be able to think of 3 things quickly.
- Go read an autobiography by someone you respect, admire, or look up to. In that autobiography, you will find at least one story about how that person needed to let go of something in order to achieve their dreams, greatness, or goals. No one no matter how famous, rich or smart someone is no on goes through life without having to learn the process of letting go.
- Ask someone, a friend, a family member, or a sponsor to help you. Let them be your guide of objectivity during the letting go process.
What I did last week:
I started letting go of how I'm supposed to get married, and when, where and who my husband will be. Admittedly, I've been kind of freaked out about this for awhile, and turning 40 didn't help much to alleviate that anxiety. However, the advantage of being older, having years of experience dating and spending time on my own self growth along with learning from my friends who've been divorced one-two times, is that I know the more I feel anxious and desperate about the marriage thing, the more I constrict the possibilities and make myself miserable along the way.
For a very long time, I've been fixated on the "why." Why am I not married yet? Why does it feel like marriage is there for everyone else but not me? I used to ponder these questions for hours and days and end up feeling resentful and angry. Last week, I actually came to the conclusion that being single is great too. This was big for me. Being single has many advantages as well and I started thinking about how lucky I am to be single and live in an area where there are many single people, my age, in similar circumstance. I also remind myself that being married doesn't necessarily mean that life automatically becomes "better." I learned that the hard way with the skinny jeans dream, and being in relationships where I felt more alone with my significant other than being literally by myself.
So, for the first time in a long time, I'm okay and happy being single. I don't know why I'm still single, and that is okay. Perhaps, I'm just a late bloomer. Perhaps, my husband is not ready for me yet. Or, perhaps God's answer is simply, "Not yet." In my heart, I know I will be married in this lifetime, and I will have the kind of love I want or something better. Actually, I do know one reason why I'm not married yet. I have always wanted Mr. Right, and not Mr. Right Now, so I've held out. My husband is out there. So, until that time, I will continue to live the happiest life I have now because it's a pretty damn good one ;-)
It definitely has got to be a slow news week when the media outlets start putting out ridiculous stories that even a 5th grader would ask, "Why is this story a big deal?"
Case in point are these two stories:
The Brazilian press criticized Victoria's Secret Angel Karolina Kurkova last week during Sao Paulo Brazil Fashion Week for looking "fat" in this bikini on the runway. For crying out loud, what the hell fat are you talking about?
Ok, maybe if I stretch my superficial mind, I can see that she may not be not as firm as usual, but hell no is this woman fat. She's gorgeous, fine, and damn, finally a model who looks real-ish. Some say models are paid lots of money because they are supposed to look like "the ideal." I still don't get what is so ideal about the dead-eye, stick figure look. Who said the human hanger look is "ideal?" I want to see alive and vibrant, and Karolina has that. That bikini looks better because it's worn by a woman I can actually picture at a beach enjoying herself.
Lance Armstrong's love life is hurting his do-good image?
Seriously, I can't believe people are this shallow, petty and bored, "Some experts in philanthropy say Mr. Armstrong risks detracting from his heroic image, and damaging his effectiveness as an anticancer advocate." All this because People called him a "notorious Texas Playboy" and because he's getting more media coverage because of the women he dates than the causes he fights for.
I find it unbelievable that this is even a discussion. I'm chiming in only to show how Lance is an example of how people can be so incredibly hard and have un-realistic standards for those labeled "hero." It goes back to those unrelentingly high standards of "perfect." If you look at this man's life, his dad left when he was two, and his stepdad was no better. He gets testicular cancer, almost dies, has surgery on his brain and has some of his man parts removed so he can live. He then goes on to win 7 Tour de Frances..in a row. Lance has done more than most to help save the lives of countless millions who have cancer or are living with a loved one with cancer. And recently, Livestrong.com was launched as a website that can help people live healthier, happy lives.
My goodness, give Lance a fricking break. The man deserves his time to have fun and to enjoy himself. Really, what's the point of surviving cancer if you can't enjoy the life you fought so hard to keep? He's 36, single, responsibly takes care of his children, and has busted his ass working hard to accomplish things that most of us put together wouldn't achieve in a lifetime.
And truly, I was shocked that over at PopSugar in their "Does Lance's Love Life Hurt his Reputation" poll, 51% voted "Yes, it's hard to look up to someone who's in the spotlight for being a playboy." That is unbelievably harsh. He's not a priest. He's just a guy doing good things and dating.
Playing devil's advocate on the "playboy" issue
I really don't get where the playboy image comes in. Is it because we see pictures of him kissing his girlfriend's in public? The paparazzi stalks the guy day and night. Wha't Lance supposed to do stay indoors the rest of his life and not act like any other guy dating his girlfried. Does Lance have to behave at higher standards because he's a philanthropist? Can someone explain that to me?
It really pisses me off that people would try and detract from Lance's accomplishments and his right to have joy in his life just because he's dated a few celebrities. Yeah, the women he dates are famous, but so what. And this woman Claire L. Gaudiani, a professor of philanthropy and fund-raising at New York University, who says, "He should be concerned about the impact of how he dates on the seriousness of his legacy. He’s got a great role to play, but it doesn’t have to be in bars or on red carpets with lovely young people. That will ruin his capacity to do the work he has said is important to him.”
Excuse my crassness, but Claire really needs to get the stick out of her you know what and go get a beer. Really, lady, Lance Armstrong has created a legacy that outshines most of us on the planet. Unless Lance goes something like postal or OJ, there is not much that will "ruin" his great role or the seriousness of his legacy. Again, Lance isn't up for Sainthood. He's just trying to make the world a better place and find love like the rest of us.
Posted by Stephanie Quilao on Jun 24, 2008 in Skinny commentary & news | Permalink | Comments (17) | TrackBack (0)
Tags: Karolina Kurkova, Lance Armstrong, media, press
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