Back in skinny jeans

Set Your Tivos today: Christina Applegate shares her healing journey from breast cancer on Oprah

This is a must see today! I will be glued to the set. Christina Applegate is going to be the guest on Oprah today, and she will share the real story behind her healing from breast cancer, as well as why she choose to have a double mastectomy, and how she is now cancer free without chemo.

I believe hearing Christina's perspective will be a particularly growing experience for BISJ readers because many of us tie so much of our self esteem into our beauty and what we think beauty is. Here we have an actress who's had the bulk of her career based on her hot looks having to make a decision to let go a part of her that was tied in so much to her allure (as far as the casting couch goes).

The audience too will be filled with other breast cancer survivors who share their stories. Indeed, this will be a very inspiring episode!

Better than Nothin': Focusing on abundance

Better Than Nothin" Tuesdays is the day where we help inspire you to make tiny changes or take small actions in the direction of your health goals. For example, eating 100 less calories a day or taking the stairs instead of the elevator are tiny actions that are effortless and add up over time leading you in the direction of your goals, and indeed, is better than nothin'.

Since so many people are feeling depressed and scared about all this financial crisis our economy is in, I thought today would be a good reminder that now is also a good time to focus on the abundance we do possess. Instead of focusing on the lack of what is going on around us, take a moment right now to redirect your thoughts to what you do have plenty of like:

• Perspective. Losing money and homes is not a pleasant thing at all but it is money, a material thing. We are not in the midst of great death, disease, or famine where humans are in threat of dissolution of life. Money can be lost but it can be earned back. We live in one of the most abundant countries in the world, and still have access to great resources and opportunity.

• Love. Focus on the loved ones in your life and the joy that they bring you and that you bring to them. Your loved ones will love you whether you've financially lost or not. What matters is the love and care you all share for each other, so go hug them and tell them that you love them.

• Gratitude. Get a piece of paper and quickly write down 5 things you are grateful for at this very moment. The items don't have to be big, they can just be the little things like "I love that my favorite Chinese restaurant gives me extra pot stickers whenever I get take out" or bigger things like "I am appreciative of the fact that I am able bodied and capable of helping others less fortunate than me." Doing this quick list exercise will help put you into a better frame of mind.

Despite all the news of lack in the world today, take a moment to turn it off, and focus on the abundance you do have. Got any more ideas that help you get into a prosperity mind set?

Quote on opportunity

Window shopping: Fun or Frustrating?

This weekend, pal Diane and I decided to stroll around Stanford Shopping Mall in Palo Alto to enjoy looking at beautiful things like this Michael Kors Satchel I absolutely fell in love with. Of course, it was one of the most expensive things in the store because I have a knack for picking things that have high price tags. Diane says it's just because I have uber excellent taste. Perhaps, I could be a more positive Rachel Zoe.

One thing I personally love about Silicon Valley is that you can't tell who's rich or who isn't simply by dress or attire because some of the very uber-rich dress way down. Therefore, sales people are nice to everyone. For example, Steve Jobs is famous for wearing jeans with holes in them and often wears New Balances around campus. Larry and Sergey from Google are often seen in jeans and casual shirts.

With the economy crashing around us, people are doing 44 times the number of Google searches on fashion than on the financial crisis, I believe, because it's way more fun and distracting to look at pretty outfits, bags, and shoes. Because I'm in bootstrapping mode, I'm refrained to window shopping.

But while walking through the mall, looking at cool things like this outfit from Burberry, I wondered to myself if window shopping in itself is a very fun thing to do, or in actuality frustrating because 1. I can't afford the clothes but wish I could and 2. I'm not even close to being as skinny as the mannequins, so the outfits would never look that good on me.

Stepping into the Betsey Johnson store I started drooling looking at all the really fun and colorful dresses. I saw at least 6 dresses I wanted to wrap up and take home, but alas, to even just go and try them on I could not because the largest size they had of anything I liked was a size 6. In fact, the majority of the dresses on the racks ranged from size 0-6, mostly size 2-4.

The sales girl told me that the dresses do go bigger up to a 10 (oh wow! that is like so ginormous Steph thinks to herself sarcastically). However, she mentioned that there usually only 1-2 of the "bigger" sizes (8's and 10's) so you pretty much have to be in the store when the new shipment gets in. Suddenly, I feel a bit saddened because I'm an 8, therefore close yet still far. And too, why is an 8 considered a "bigger" size?

For a moment, I felt a flashback, I'm once again the fat girl who couldn't wear any of the cool clothes. The really sad part though is that I'm an 8, far from fat in reality but practically plus size model in the fashion world. Yet in single digits, I still can't wear the cool clothes.

I swing between feeling pissed off and depressed. At the same time, I want to wring Betsey Johnson's neck for only making her dresses available in tiny sizes, and I want to go workout and diet until I can get into a 6. The dichotomy is maddening, and yet an every day reflection of a battle that is not uncommon.

I decided that this instance in the Betsey Johnson store was not worth holding onto the upset or depression. In actuality, this situation is absurd. "So what", I told myself. I can't wear a BJ dress. There are bigger issues going on in the world. This is where I'm getting much better about not letting things like clothes get me down. I'm learning to focus more on the abundance in my life versus the lack, and what I have is an abundance of health, a lovely day to hang out with a good girl friend, and a sunny fall day.

Diane and I went to Kara's Cupcakes and enjoyed a Java and Chocolate Velvet cupcake, and I reveled in every single bite! It was a blissful gulit-free moment.

Hysterical: Tina Fey for Vice-President

In case you missed it on Saturday, Tina Fey was back for a second run on SNL doing Sarah Palin with a mock interview with Katie Couric. My crystal ball sees some kind of Palin ala Fey comedy movie coming forth. Tina Fey makes McCain so much more entertaining. Le Fey for VP!

Old School: Do You Believe in Magic?

You Gen Xers, remember the peppy tunes of Shaun Cassidy? I was sooo in love with this Hardy Boy. He was my very first imaginary husband.

For some great nostalgic giggles, this video is full of so many pictures from the likes of Tiger Beat. I plastered these xoxo, Shaun centerfolds all over my bedroom walls and Pee Chee folders. You did too, yes?!

Interneters care more about cupcakes and fashion than the financial crisis and other sprinkles around the skinnysphere

• According to Google Trends yesterday, topics that were more popular than "financial crisis" in Search included cupcakes by 4.7 times, and fashion by 44 times. Even puppies ousted financial woes by 24.4 times. My theory is that because the financial walls are tumbling creating fear and insecurity people are needing comfort food, are turning to control the way they physically look because it's easy as they can't control how they financially look, and cute puppies like cute kittehs will love you even if you're broke and homeless. Thoughts? [Mother Jones]

• To go with your cupcakes, who wouldn't love a scoop of Ben & Jerry's? Well, if PETA had their way, they'd want B&J to make their delicious treat from mother's milk versus cow milk. Yes, you heard right. PETA thinks it's less cruel to pump humans than cows. Okay, I think now I shall step away from the key board. [APP.com]

• Yahoo launches some new ad thingy to Madison Avenue and who did they hire to help the launch? Why indeed it was the dashing Don Draper from Mad Men played by Jon Hamm. I both love and despise the Draper. He polarizes. Yahoo: Clever or Crazy? I'm thinking it's a little of both, but after all the Emmy wins who can resist the debonairness. [CNET]

• The blogosphere is already turning on Gwyneth Paltrow and her GOOP, Gwynnies sharing of her "good un-passive healthy life style." The site hasn't even officially launched but what's on there currently only has Shakespeare in love, and even then, I don't think the Bard of Avon would appreciate, "Invest in what is real...Don't be lazy...Goop...Nourish the inner aspect." Huh? Yeah, I don't get it either, but let's hold full frontal assessment til we see the official launch. In the meantime, I shall goop my inner aspectations. [LA Times]

• Fascinating: A mountain bike with a frame made entirely out of bamboo. These fast organic wheels cost $2700 but what an interesting alternative to metal as bamboo is lighter and absorbs more road vibration. [Wired]

• In the "Top 15 Things You Should Never Do on Facebook," #6 is updating your profile when you called in sick to work. Sharing that you went to get a mani pedi in the morning, had lunch with the BFFs, and then went to happy hour in the FiDi to flirt with cute investment bankers is not the best of ideas. I'd include that you never add your boss or anyone in the chain of command as a "friend." You might get the Super Poke with a pink slip. [Tech Radar]

Revisiting Diet Language: "I'm on a Menu"

In all the "Secret" type stuff, you are told to focus on what you want, not what you don't want because what you focus on is what you grow and create more of. Makes sense.

Likewise, in writing or marketing it's stronger to use words that emphasize a gain over a lack like fat-free versus non-fat, or youthful glow versus anti-aging. The "gain" sounding words make you feel more abundant and that you're getting something of value versus trying to prevent something which can start raising fears and doubts.

So given that logic, let's look at the word "diet." To me what I always hear is "Die-It" or more to the point "Die-you" because that's how diets in general usually make me feel because what is involved are things that involve demise and pain like starvation, deprivation, restriction, limitation, guilt, and perfection. For example, whenever I've tried to go cold turkey on carbs or sugar, I always fail because a part of me literally feels like it's dying. Been there?

A more positive word that I like to use to replace the word diet (lack) is menu. "I'm on a menu. What's on the menu today? I do believe that is on the menu." May sound kinda dorky at first saying "menu", but it at least makes being on a food plan far more interesting and pleasurable than being on the "Die-you."

Menus are packed with a variety of foods, they are always changing yet some dishes can stay regular, they offer choices, and you can get creative and make your menu vibrant and fun. Being a foodie, I'm all about making food as pleasurable and healthy as possible.

So, how about you? Instead of the word "diet", what words do you use that make eating for health or shedding weight feel more enjoyable?

Quote on success

Life Choices: What gifts do you get if you choose to be child-free and single?

The other day, I was thinking about ways I could get some funding for my start-up. When you're an entrepreneur, you have to be very creative when it comes to money, so I started playing around with some wild ideas.

One idea that came up was, "Why don't I send out a duo wedding/birth announcement to my friends and family. Congratulations! I'm having a startup and getting incorporated. In lieu of gifts, please send funds. I'm registered at PayPal."

Sound crazy? Well, why the hell not!

Like that Sex & The City episode, I got to thinking about all the money I have spent on other people's life choices like marriage and kids. Over the years now, it's in the thousands. And for some, I've spent money for their second and even third marriage, and second, third, and fourth kid. I think too of the money I spent traveling to these wedding destinations and to baby showers and baptisms.

But what gifts do you get if you choose to be child-free and single? And Carrie is right, birthdays don't count because we all have birthdays. The gift tables don't seem fair.

So, instead of getting married or having kids, what if I make a life choice to birth a startup and be married to making a life dream come true that will indeed go on to help other people live more prosperous blogging lives. Should I not equally have the right to throw a party and expect gifts and a money dance?Yeah, I'm starting a business, but marriage and kids are in a way a business too, Family Inc, that involves money, commitment, and benefit.

And if not things like starting a company, what life events for a single person are considered "celebatory" where gifts and money are involved to return the favor from those who decided to get hitched and be parents?

Now some will say too that gifts are gifts and that there should not be any feeling of return, but have you ever showed up to a wedding without a gift or to a baby shower without a present? No, because it's social norm to do so, and over the years you can end up spending quite a bit of money just on one family member or friend, and if you come from a big family or have lots of friends, we're talking bigger bucks when you compile everyone together.

So, I'm just challenging a social norm, not saying it's right or wrong. Would it be considered tacky to treat my startup like a marriage and ask for or expect gifts as I have done for others in their life choices?