Confession time. I avoid any aerobics type class where the instructors utter the words "Grapevine" or "Cha Cha." Those two words strike terror in me. I sweat with anxiety whenever I hear, "Alright, in 3 do the Grapevine!" I get like deer in headlights or more like a squirrel who knows they are about to become road kill in 5 seconds.
See I have two left feet. In fact, my feet can only behave in linear formation like in running, biking, kicking, or ellipticaling. As soon as any kind of step over, cross over, or moving of the hips in synchronization of traversing feets is involved, game over, I'm falling on my ass or I start looking like a drunk sailor.
And forget about the step. No way Jilly Mae. I trip EVERY single time I'm near a step. For me, step = tripping like Pavlov's dog. And worse, like clock work, the aerobics instructor will come over to me during class to "help" me which just fuels my already flaming embarrassment.
Along with Grapevine and Cha Cha, we can add Salsa and Meringue type moves to the Steph-no-can-do mix which means, yeah, no Zumba for this gal. For those of you loving the Zumba, good for you. I'll be on the treadmill where it is safe, and I can't knock over anyone in class.
For the life of me, I have absolutely no coordination when it comes to anything that requires me to move one foot over the other, especially if we have to add on the jiggy of the hips. What's weird is that in this amazingly creative brain of mine where the ideas do gymnastics, Cirque du Soleil acrobats, and Gregory Hines type moves, my feet cannot. It's just not happening. Scarily I can do the "White Man's Overbite" quite well. I know. It's a horror perfect for YouTube mockery.
What's really sad is that I am Filipino, and I'm supposed to be born with the Cha Cha gene. Have you ever been to a Filipino wedding reception? Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE gets up and does the Cha Cha because Filipinos are famous for their moves, but not I. Oh no! Somehow, I am the only one in my very large Filipino family who cannot slide, sway, or shimmy. Indeed, I drown my sorrows with Lumpias and Leche Flan as I am Cha Cha impaired.
But, it is okay. I may not be able to bust the Grapevine moves but there are plenty of things I can do for cardio. I love running, and kickboxing. Overall, I do better at the fighting like moves than the dancing moves and that is just fine. What matters is that we do what we love and work the heart and lungs.
So, are you like me and have two left feet in aerobics class? Let's hear it for the linear foot movers!
