Don't get me wrong. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays of the year because one it's all about celebrating gratitude for the abundance we have in our lives, and two eating! But along with all this goodness also comes the insanity: relatives and the awkward social situations, the crowds all trying to buy the same turkey fixins, and let the holiday stress games begin!
Some of us are not drinking that spiked cider just to be merry if ya know what I mean. And the hair, well, we just might be pulling ours out after being asked one more time, "When you gonna settle down? When you having a baby? When you getting a real job?"
So, here are 7 things that you can {or at least try to} do on Thanksgiving day to help keep your sanity in check and your joy levels higher:
- Thanksgiving is basically one big homework assignment. You said you wanted to become more patient, understanding, forgiving, and loving. Well, this is your biggest chance of the year, and even better, you can get some two for ones in there. Remember in Evan Almighty? God doesn't give people patience, he gives them opportunities to become a patient person. You only become by practicing, so remember that when the irritants begin.
- Don't give your fears & insecurities more power than your happiness & joy. Who's really in charge? It's you! And why spend your day miserable? What will you gain? Wouldn't you rather experience joy even if it's just a small dose over nothing. Again, everything is perspective, and you have the power to look at your family and this Thanksgiving day with a whole new set of lenses. The day can turn instantly just based on one decision you make to look at it and everyone involved differently. Remember last week when Nathan talked about how one day you can look into a mirror and see a superstar, and the next day see a haggard. It's the same face looking in the same mirror, so what's the difference? Perspective. That's it. You choose how you look at things.
- What would Vince Vaughn do? Have you noticed in all his movies, Vince tends to get into these highly awkward, tense, and socially floundering situations, and yet manages to get out of it in some kind of upswing to his advantage. Channel your inner Vince Vaughn and I bet you can be as clever as him. Remember Swingers, "You're so money. You're so money, you have no idea!"
- And speaking of you being so money, definitely stick that in your psyche when the frenemy relatives start picking on you jokingly {yeah right} about your lack of accomplishments compared to theirs like the classic marriage, children, job, house, or stock portfolio questions. And even though everyone took a dump on stocks recently, these frenerelatives will somehow manage to make their losses seem like wins just to keep looking good in everyone's eyes. But it's all a game, a game called "Inflate my ego" and you're so money that you don't fall for it because you are grateful and know that your life is abundant in ways that have nothing to do with status.
- Fights over food are really not about food. It's about something deeper. For many, Thanksgiving food can trigger enormous eating stress not just because of your own worries about food but other people who are either trying to shove their food values and beliefs at you or are trying to make you eat more than you want to and guilting you into it by saying things like, "Who knows, this may be the last Thanksgiving meal I'll ever cook." or "What's wrong with meat? There's no real food in all that bird feed you eat." Yes, these things may make you feel like launching a full out argument with the person but remember it's not about food. At some level there is a loving concern for you, it's just coming out disguised as an irritant. This person is communicating the best way they know how which to you is annoying or hurtful. This is an opportunity for you to teach them how to better communicate to you so you both can achieve win/win.
- Give the inner body image critics a day off. Because of all the eating, the inner body image critics can take it upon themselves to have a field day with catapulting out the "fat & uglies" especially if you have relatives coming over who are the perfect-looking-eat-whatever-I-want-but-never-get-fat beauties that make you start feeling pale in comparison. On the outside, they may look perfect, but on the inside and behind the scenes, you have no idea what's going on. In fact, if you knew the real story, all those insecurities of yours just might vaporize in an instant. And besides, remember, you are so money just as you are!
- Make this day about everyone else as a gift to them, and release any expectations of return. Let others have the spotlight. Let others go first in line. Let grandpa, dad, and the uncles have the big piece of turkey. Decide that for the day you'd rather be happy than be right. Be the first to offer to help out. Tell grandma, mom, and all the aunties they look pretty. Give whoever cooked the meal, a personal thank you and hug. Give everyone at least one compliment or sentiment of gratitude you feel towards them. When you make the day about everyone else as a gift, you actually get a gift too, joy & your sanity :)
Have a happy Thanksgiving!