Today we have the pleasure of hearing from guest poster Dean Pearson, one of Back in Skinny Jeans' fabulous readers. Dean usually leaves some very insightful comments, and you know how I love to get the male perspective in, so I asked Dean to chime in, and what an intriguing topic he chose too, makeup and beauty.
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There sure are a lot of attractive women out there, you read about them in magazines, see them on the big screen, little screen, or portable screen. You see them everywhere. And you, do you see an attractive woman in the mirror?
But here's the thing, attractive and beautiful are not the same thing at least to a lot of us guys. Let me give you a peek through our eyes with an everyday scenario that many of you have most likely experienced with your guy.
Admittedly, this has happened for real with my wife and me. Hey, we guys
eventually learn.
You go and spend a
bunch of money at the cosmetics counter, and you love the results the makeup girl did on your face! You can’t
wait to get home to show your guy. When he walks in the room he says hi,
gives you a peck on the cheek and a ‘what’s up?’ on his way to the fridge.
Ouch! Total swing and a miss!
Then it starts – you
throw your guy a lifeline and say, “Notice anything?” If he’s totally clueless,
he’ll say something like “Umm, yeah, it looks like we are about out of milk.”
If he knows you and is paying attention, he starts to look at you with a scared
look and might notice the makeup, but probably won’t. Oh boy, he just
struck out!
Ok, Mt. St Helens is
about to be shown a thing or two! But, that annoying little reasonable voice
inside asks, “Where is that great guy that loves me? Who is this clod? How
could my usually sweet guy miss something this obvious, this much work, this
expensive, this hot?"
I’ll let you in on
guy secret #1. He thinks you are beautiful. He thinks you are the best thing –
ever. Sometimes he even tries to tell you. Now here is guy secret #2. He is
looking through the makeup and seeing the woman he loves. You see the
makeup, he sees a woman he's lucky to be with. This is so secret that most guys
don’t know it!
...What we really see is how beautiful you are...
We men
usually don’t see the makeup; we see what is truly beautiful about you. For
example, I love the glance that catches just for a second and triggers the
smile that is just for me.
I love the ESP my wife and I share as a couple – we
just take a quick look at each other and our daughter will all of a sudden
yell, “What! What did you just say? It’s not fair; you’re doing that
mind-thingy again!” I love that I can trust her completely, and I’m proud that she
trusts me. Hey, this is the stuff that knocks us out!
But back to impending
doom. I’ve been that poor, wild-eyed, fool with one hand still on the milk jug
realizing that the room just got way too chilly for only having the fridge door
open. Like the turkey that gets invited to Thanksgiving dinner - I just lost
but don't know it yet...
Are we guys really
that insensitive? Granted, there are some real dim bulbs out there, but for most guys, most of the time, we kinda don’t get the
makeup thing . We just aren’t seeing it. It isn’t being insensitive – makeup to
us kinda seems like what you are not. To us, makeup means we can’t touch your
cheek. Makeup is about emphasizing your structure or looking like someone else.
It means you are trying to be attractive when we just think you are beautiful.
Here's the low down:
Attractive is what they sell at the makeup counter and in those
magazines, and beautiful is why “I love you”…It doesn’t mean we don’t care if
you look good, it means the important stuff – you haz it!
We know there are
times for makeup and we know you like it. It’s one of those “girl things.”
Makeup for Special Occasions - like going out for an anniversary, or
celebrating a promotion, or attending a holiday party is understood. In the
context of a fancy dress or a candlelight dinner, makeup is great!
And it’s
nice that your lips are usually soft and maybe shiny (but maybe not for the
same reasons you are thinking…) Makeup can make you attractive, but it won’t
make you beautiful.
What we really
see is how beautiful you are. Being beautiful isn’t about “moist” or about “shades.”
It’s about those rare times when we fall in love with that sleepy,
eyes-half-closed smile when the sunrise is still wondering if it’s time to get
up.
Those freckles? They are great, they are you, don’t cover them up! Your guy
isn’t wishing you were wearing the right makeup, he is thinking how beautiful
and desirable you are. And he’s thinking, “C’mere and give me a kiss!” (soft
lips, remember?) That, ladies, is what we are seeing when we look through
the makeup.
I tell my wife this
all the time – you don’t need makeup to be beautiful! I get that you like it,
but you don’t need it.
However, let’s get this said - my wife is an attractive
woman. More important to me, she is a beautiful woman. But the times she is
most beautiful, she doesn’t believe it because she isn’t wearing any makeup!
It’s not the makeup that makes her beautiful, it’s who she is, what she does.
I’m not sure she believes me, but there you are.
So ladies, from this
guy’s point of view, there comes a time when we start forgetting about what
makes you attractive and start seeing what makes you beautiful.
