Brilliant title: "Emotional Bullshit
The day after Christmas I was having one of those spells wading in the swamp of Ex Significant Other funk, so I did what any normal heartbroken soul trying to figure out what went wrong in the relationship would do, I went trolling around the Self Help section at Barnes & Noble. You've been there too?
And to my glee, just seeing the cover of this book made me happy because there in huge red letters was truthiness, "Emotional Bullshit
Maybe in these pages, I hoped to find the answers or even just some reasons for all this crap I'm going through with my Ex, and what happened, what really happened to us because many things I thought were true, I'm beginning to see were not. And indeed, the scribe gave me some answers:
The Toxic Trio: Denial, Delusion, and Blame. This is the recipe for Emotional Bullshit, the stuff that "erodes trust and drives people apart."
Emotional Bullshit is also not just the crap between people, it's also the BS we feed ourselves like, "Once I can fit into my skinny jeans, my life will be perfect." or "Once we get married, we'll be happy."
What are the typical motivators behind Emotional Bullshit? To paraphrase Dr. Alasko in more urban speak:
- Having hand ala Seinfeld
- Bogarting importance
- Being chicken shit
- Instant gratification of the selfish kind
- Bailing on accountability
- Dodging people's pissed off or hurt emotions
Been there. Seen that. Done that, huh? You know how some books set a light bulb off for you? This book set off like half a dozen light bulbs for me. It was like winning the answer lottery.
I can see me & the Ex much clearer now
The book really helped me get some better clarity on why my relationship with the EX was already set up for failure from day one. The issues the Ex and I had could have been workable had we guidance, but clearly given the skills and knowledge we had at the time, I can see better why we clashed and why we had communication issues. The book also helped me gain transparency on conflicts and issues I've had with friends, family members, and colleagues.
The most valuable part of the book is the end where Dr. Alasko provides some exercises on how to help you become better at conflict resolution which really is the solution to eliminating as much emotional BS in your life as possible. Really, I have to say that if you can become better at conflict resolution in every aspect of your life, what a blessing!
The stuff really does work
I practiced one of the exercises with a friend and it was amazing how I got a different outcome than I would normally have gotten using my usual tactics. We all have habits and ways of doing things that may not work, but we still use them because it's what we know. Dr. Alasko teaches you some new approaches that really are easy. You just need to start practicing.
I'd recommend this book highly to those of you who might be in a situation now where you are at wit's end, you're on the verge of a break up, or you're just plain frustrated and tired with a certain person in your life but still want to work it out.
Becoming simpatico with your own BS
Likewise, "Emotional Bullshit
The last three years has been like I went back to school to get my PhD in blogging and social media. This learning is something to appreciate not berate. The money will come. I'm becoming one of the most skilled and talented in my field. And, soon, I'll be able to once again move forward with some of my personal dreams like owning a house. I can't tell you how much better I feel about things, and it's all because of a simple shift in perception.
"Emotional Bullshit
