I'm going to do a little fan fiction today, and pretend that I am Oprah's BFF and I do not work for her. I'm a blogger who's got her own online media empire (so okay, we interject a little reality). The following conversation takes place at O magazine in some room where it's just the two of us and no one can hear. Oprah is showing me the comp for the January 2009 issue, and she wants to know what I think before it goes to print.
------------------------------------
Oprah: "Hey girl, so here's the comp of the Jan 09 issue. Can you flip through it real quick and tell me what you think."
Steph reads over the cover and then jumps to the story, "How did I let this happen again?" After reading the article, she quickly flips through the rest of the magazine.
Steph: "So what's up with this story, "How did I let this happen again?"
Oprah: "What do you mean?"
Steph: "I mean what are you hoping to accomplish with it?"
Oprah: "Well, I've gained weight. I'm 200 lbs, and I hate it. My weight has been a struggle my whole life and here I am again at the 200 lb mark. I gained 40lbs. I can't believe I let myself gain 40 lbs. Here I am Oprah Winfrey, tying to help millions of people live their best life, and I can't even follow my own advice. I feel somehow like I've failed, and what kind of role model am I if I can't even keep my own weight stable. I can't skirt the weight gain issue anymore because it's all over the press and the blogs, so if I'm gonna talk about it, I might as well do it during New Year's resolution time. I thought I'd take the approach that every woman feels when they find themselves having gained weight again."
Steph: "So, the tone of this is supposed to appeal to the everyday woman and her struggles, frustrations, and disappointment with her own weight gaining experience? Like always, you want people to know that you "get" them too, and that you are no different than the rest of us? You're like one of us?"
Oprah: "Yeah, basically...Soooo, what do you think?"
Steph: "Frankly, I think this is bullshit. What the hell is this? That's not Oprah on the cover, that's your New Earth pain body on the cover who's going on about feeling like a "fat cow". I can't believe you actually want to print those words "fat cow." That is one of the most unloving things I have heard come outta your mouth in ages. So, go ahead and think it in your head if you gotta but don't put it in print. And, what's with this feeling like a "disappointment" because you gained 40 lbs. You're 200 now...So, fucking what!
Oprah: "What is your problem? I can't believe how mean you're being."
Steph: "Mean? Mean?! No! I'm not being mean, I'm being real. And yeah, I'm fucking pissed because here we are again. You're telling me and the rest of the world the same damn story. But worse, you're focusing on lack, what you don't have, what you failed at. You don't even see what I see or what everyone else sees.
Oprah: "Oh yeah, and what is that genius?"
Steph: "That you are the most powerful woman in Hollywood. You have made a difference in people's lives more than most people on the fricking planet in this entire century. You have this amazing school in Africa. You are a self made BILLIONAIRE. You are a BILLIONAIRE! How many women can say that! And you created this life from a beginning that would have left most people broken and desolate their entire lives.
And no matter how amazing your life is and what you do for the world, you gotta always bring up the weight and point out that "flaw." Everything else takes backseat because you've gained 40lbs. Well, you wanna know the fucking truth, no one cares if you're 160lb or 300lbs. The only one who is making this an issue is YOU and your pain body. And that's why I'm fucking pissed. You're letting your pain be in charge instead of the real you.
The Oprah I know and love is better than this. Go ahead and print this crap, but that is not the real you, that is your ego who thinks that she needs to self deprecate in order to sell magazines, and you're convincing yourself that it's you being authentic. This is not authentic, it's marketing bullshit taking advantage of New Year's resolution hooplah. You can tell this exact same story but in an entirely different tone and you KNOW that, but you're choosing to use the same old tired approach that every women's magazine uses to sell copies. Times are changing but that old pattern in your head hasn't.
The real Oprah would not be putting herself down and then putting it all over the fricking cover of her magazine. Yeah, she'd share her personal struggles too because people love that about her, but she'd at least make it uplifting somehow. There is absolutely NOTHING uplifting about this cover and story. Again, this is the same old crap that all the fucking women's magazines use to sell copies. It's depressing, and no one wants to see it anymore.
And what's this before and now picture comparison bullshit? You can only smile when you're 160 lbs. What 200lb Oprah can't smile and be happy? So, if the accomplished Oprah Winfrey can't even smile even though she's gained some weight, then what the hell chance in the world do the rest of us have? I don't want to see a disappointed almost disgusted looking frown on your face. I want to see a face filled with acceptance and hope, a face that says, "You know I realize I'm not at my best shape, but I still love myself, and I'm working on getting back on track." Why don't you do something like this instead?"
{Steph runs to a computer to do some photoshopping}
Steph: "Okay, If I totally had my way, I'd get rid of that awful cover picture but for the sake of example, I just changed some of the headlines to this:
Steph: See. You can still share your weight struggles with everyone, but this tone is at least more uplifting, accepting, and loving. You're helping people take their life in a better direction, not a perfect one. You're focusing on what is already good, and how can we make it better. That kinda tone inspires people, and that is the tone my best friend Oprah would love to hear someone else speak about themselves.
-----------------------
So, I realize that the tone of this fanfic is tough but I have nothing but the utmost love, respect, and admiration for Oprah in real life. However, seeing this January issue really made me wanna shake some sense into her. She has helped so many people, and has made this world such a better place, and because of that in my eyes, she is a wonder unlike any other. I don't see a body. I see a light.
If you were Oprah's best friend, what would you say to her about this cover and story of her weight?
