Back in skinny jeans

Quote on acceptance and happiness

What If You Were Oprah's Best Friend...

I'm going to do a little fan fiction today, and pretend that I am Oprah's BFF and I do not work for her. I'm a blogger who's got her own online media empire (so okay, we interject a little reality). The following conversation takes place at O magazine in some room where it's just the two of us and no one can hear. Oprah is showing me the comp for the January 2009 issue, and she wants to know what I think before it goes to print.

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Oprah: "Hey girl, so here's the comp of the Jan 09 issue. Can you flip through it real quick and tell me what you think."

Steph reads over the cover and then jumps to the story, "How did I let this happen again?" After reading the article, she quickly flips through the rest of the magazine.

Steph: "So what's up with this story, "How did I let this happen again?"

Oprah: "What do you mean?"

Steph: "I mean what are you hoping to accomplish with it?"

Oprah: "Well, I've gained weight. I'm 200 lbs, and I hate it. My weight has been a struggle my whole life and here I am again at the 200 lb mark. I gained 40lbs. I can't believe I let myself gain 40 lbs. Here I am Oprah Winfrey, tying to help millions of people live their best life, and I can't even follow my own advice. I feel somehow like I've failed, and what kind of role model am I if I can't even keep my own weight stable. I can't skirt the weight gain issue anymore because it's all over the press and the blogs, so if I'm gonna talk about it, I might as well do it during New Year's resolution time. I thought I'd take the approach that every woman feels when they find themselves having gained weight again."

Steph: "So, the tone of this is supposed to appeal to the everyday woman and her struggles, frustrations, and disappointment with her own weight gaining experience? Like always, you want people to know that you "get" them too, and that you are no different than the rest of us? You're like one of us?"

Oprah: "Yeah, basically...Soooo, what do you think?"

Steph: "Frankly, I think this is bullshit. What the hell is this? That's not Oprah on the cover, that's your New Earth pain body on the cover who's going on about feeling like a "fat cow". I can't believe you actually want to print those words "fat cow." That is one of the most unloving things I have heard come outta your mouth in ages. So, go ahead and think it in your head if you gotta but don't put it in print. And, what's with this feeling like a "disappointment" because you gained 40 lbs. You're 200 now...So, fucking what!

Oprah: "What is your problem? I can't believe how mean you're being."

Steph: "Mean? Mean?! No! I'm not being mean, I'm being real. And yeah, I'm fucking pissed because here we are again. You're telling me and the rest of the world the same damn story. But worse, you're focusing on lack, what you don't have, what you failed at. You don't even see what I see or what everyone else sees.

Oprah: "Oh yeah, and what is that genius?"

Steph: "That you are the most powerful woman in Hollywood. You have made a difference in people's lives more than most people on the fricking planet in this entire century. You have this amazing school in Africa. You are a self made BILLIONAIRE. You are a BILLIONAIRE! How many women can say that! And you created this life from a beginning that would have left most people broken and desolate their entire lives.

And no matter how amazing your life is and what you do for the world, you gotta always bring up the weight and point out that "flaw." Everything else takes backseat because you've gained 40lbs. Well, you wanna know the fucking truth, no one cares if you're 160lb or 300lbs. The only one who is making this an issue is YOU and your pain body. And that's why I'm fucking pissed. You're letting your pain be in charge instead of the real you.

The Oprah I know and love is better than this. Go ahead and print this crap, but that is not the real you, that is your ego who thinks that she needs to self deprecate in order to sell magazines, and you're convincing yourself that it's you being authentic. This is not authentic, it's marketing bullshit taking advantage of New Year's resolution hooplah. You can tell this exact same story but in an entirely different tone and you KNOW that, but you're choosing to use the same old tired approach that every women's magazine uses to sell copies. Times are changing but that old pattern in your head hasn't.

The real Oprah would not be putting herself down and then putting it all over the fricking cover of her magazine. Yeah, she'd share her personal struggles too because people love that about her, but she'd at least make it uplifting somehow. There is absolutely NOTHING uplifting about this cover and story. Again, this is the same old crap that all the fucking women's magazines use to sell copies. It's depressing, and no one wants to see it anymore.

And what's this before and now picture comparison bullshit? You can only smile when you're 160 lbs. What 200lb Oprah can't smile and be happy? So, if the accomplished Oprah Winfrey can't even smile even though she's gained some weight, then what the hell chance in the world do the rest of us have? I don't want to see a disappointed almost disgusted looking frown on your face. I want to see a face filled with acceptance and hope, a face that says, "You know I realize I'm not at my best shape, but I still love myself, and I'm working on getting back on track." Why don't you do something like this instead?"

{Steph runs to a computer to do some photoshopping}

Steph: "Okay, If I totally had my way, I'd get rid of that awful cover picture but for the sake of example, I just changed  some of the headlines to this:

Steph: See. You can still share your weight struggles with everyone, but this tone is at least more uplifting, accepting, and loving. You're helping people take their life in a better direction, not a perfect one. You're focusing on what is already good, and how can we make it better. That kinda tone inspires people, and that is the tone my best friend Oprah would love to hear someone else speak about themselves.

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So, I realize that the tone of this fanfic is tough but I have nothing but the utmost love, respect, and admiration for Oprah in real life. However, seeing this January issue really made me wanna shake some sense into her. She has helped so many people, and has made this world such a better place, and because of that in my eyes, she is a wonder unlike any other. I don't see a body. I see a light.

If you were Oprah's best friend, what would you say to her about this cover and story of her weight?

Soultastic tips from healthy living bloggers around the skinnysphere

If you follow me on Twitter, I shared how I shattered the root of a back tooth eating tortilla chips three days before Thanksgiving, so the puppy had to be yanked out, or extracted as it is officially called. The pain is all but gone but I am now a one toothless wonder. This is another reason why the money motivation has kicked into high gear, I need a new fake tooth which is a 6 month process. Who knew? In the meantime, I'm so glad I can still smile big and no one can see the gaping hole where my beloved tooth once lived...btw Did I mention that my dentist and oral surgeon are hotties? Yeah, that helps :-D

Now back to our normal linkage.....

• Do you give your scale the power to be your mood meter? Remember, how once upon a time I reminded you to not let the scale steal your happiness? Well, Liz makes an excellent point here about not letting the scale be your mood maestro especially now during the holidays when it's so easy to fall into that trap. [Liz Rosenbaum Fitness]

• Indeed there are times when it is a must to put the emotions in the back pocket, but um, some of us {Steph raises hand} forget to take those emotions out of the pocket later. We just let the emotions linger with the lint and old change, and then shove the pockets into the closet to never be seen again. Well, Jennifer offers up some wise one advice on the importance of emptying out those back pockets. I couldn't have said it better meself. [I Choose Change]

• Are you too tired and achy to succeed? We all know how easy it is to talk ourselves out of exercising and keeping the bod in tip top shape, so Jonathan reminds of what the old sages and yogis say about the importance of caring for the temple which includes not just exercise but breathing. Yes, breathing is more important than you realize. And if you're not all into that touchy feely eastern stuff, well, there's good old fashioned western medical studies to back it up. [Awake at the Wheel]

• Who else has been on the worry bandwagon lately? Worry about money. Worry about weight. Worry about relationships. Worry about etc etc etc. Jay tells us flat out why worry is useless, and I wholeheartedly agree. My favorite on the list, "Worry is not natural." It isn't! Worry is created in your thoughts and is more of a manifestation of our inner Perfect Girl. So, if you've been worrying too much lately, Jay has some great tips to help pull you out of it. [Dumb Little Man]

• What time of year do people feel the most anger? We're right in the middle of it, the holidays. Yes, we feel much love this time of year, but we also can experience some of the most intense anger and frustration because we're constantly surrounded by pressures, extreme weather change, families, crowds, and this year we get the bonus of a financial crisis. But anger is part of being human, and it is healthy to express it and then deal with it. Tina can help that with 15 simple ways to overcome anger. #3 always helps me the most. [Think Simple Now]

Better Than Nothin': Enjoying Slivers vs. Slices

Better Than Nothin' Tuesday is the day when we give you all a high five for making tiny changes or taking small actions in the direction of your health goals.

We're of the belief that a bunch of smaller actions over time will reap you higher long term success because you've made changes that are virtually undetectable to your Inner Resistance Monster. And, doing something tiny like eating one less piece of cheese, or taking the stairs versus the elevator is better than doing zero.

Now, we're in the throes of holiday food gluttony. There is food EVERYWHERE, and it's almost impossible to avoid it, and forcing yourself to not eat any of it is really an unnecessary battle. Being food jolly doesn't mean that you have to end up jiggly. As soon as you start feeling deprived, that's just going to trigger your cravings even more, so it's better to appease the cravings versus taking a Nada approach.

One thing that can help you enjoy some of your favorite foods is to take slivers versus slices.

See the pie chart of pie. Having a sliver of something will give you the opportunity to enjoy some of the pie without breaking your caloric bank account for the day. The sliver approach is also very helpful in buffet type scenarios because we know just how quickly a plate can fill up and stack up.

So, partake and feel guilt free. Even if you over do it a bit, that's okay. Tomorrow is another day and you can cut back on that day or go exercise a little bit longer. The key is balance and being kind to yourself; the best gift you can give yourself this holiday season.

Do you find that the sliver approach has helped you to enjoy yet avoid over indulging?

Healthy fun: Get Your BOOP On!

First there was GOOP, and then came JOOP, now let's have some healthy fun with BOOP: "cherish the inner bad ass", your interweb sage for finding the everyday heal in health for, ya know, people who live in the real frickin' world where we shop at Target, cookies and pumpkin bread loaf will be Christmas gifts, we rent fitness trainers on NetFlix, and trolling for freebie giveaways on blogs is all part of daily life in these new economic times.

{gimme a high five}

Okay, for realz, remember how I said I was gonna keep it light this month and next month while I beef up on Noshtopia and The Everyday Blogger, well I thought jumping on the GOOP spoof bandwagon would be light & fun. But, I decided to not be a complete beeyotch, so I thought why not make BOOP useful as well as spooftastic.

Indeed when I thought of the BOOP, it sounds rather close to POOP especially when you have a stuffed nose, and that is what I think of well, okay ya know, but I refrained myself from going deeper there. But, thinking of POOP in general is good too because a nice daily S-shaped POOP is a sign of healthy bowels as Dr. Oz informs us.

I also thought of Betty but I rather appreciate more the Bad Ass because, well, how many women's sites tell you to embrace and cultivate your inner bad ass? Um, not many, so let's do something new, yes?

Every Monday from now through January 09 or until Gywennie comes banging, we'll have "This is BOOP", quick tips to help you find the everyday heal in health because right now the holidays bring on tons of stress, over indulging, and colds/flus. And don't you think it's kinda cool to get on Mondays a reminder to nourish your inner bad ass? I do, so let's start shall we:

• CHOW: The inner bad ass needs fuel to do her badassery especially breakfast. Chow on something in the A.M. even if it's something as simple as an apple or mango. In fact, try some cut up mango tossed in vanilla bean yogurt or on top of oatmeal.

• MOVE: The bad ass loves the feel of the heart pumping and muscles flexing. This week try just one exercise that you have either never done before or haven't done in ages. It could be just one set of something weights related, a new cardio class, or just invite a friend to walk with you instead of going it alone.

• DEAL: Gaiam, the folks who make all that really cool organic, green living and yoga stuff has this deal going on for the holidays. Free Shipping no minimum order size. Use code AFFSC.
• Offer valid thru Dec.19

• EXPAND: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result each time. This also includes thinking. Your outer world is simply a manifestation of your inner world, so what you constantly think about is what you create in like energy. This week take 3 things that you view as "problems" and look to see if there is actually a benefit for you. This change in perspective will help you change how you think about this particular situation thus putting you in a higher vibrational state.

• HONOR: The inner bad ass honors her word because that is how she would like to be treated. If you say you're going to do something, do it. If you can't come through, come up with an alternative solution. The inner bad ass is also okay with saying no to requests, as she understands that healthy boundaries are good. Over committing is not a win/win situation, and only creates more unnecessary stress.

• FOCUS: The inner bad ass stays focused. It is better to accomplish two things very well, then to try and accomplish 5 things half-assed. Multi-tasking is fine, but do not confuse quantity with quality.

Get your BOOP on, and cherish the inner bad ass! Got any tips or advice for holiday badassery, please share.

What Do You Think About Beauty Secrets from Victoria's Secrets Models?

In this video clip (1:52 min), Victoria's Secret models Karolina Kurkova and Adriana Lima share a few beauty secrets and tips, and then what quality they look for in a man. Oh yeah, and there is a plug for the new Biofit Bra because well, they're paid spokespeople.

So, I am dying of curiousity, I would like to know what you all think about this clip. But more importantly, would you take beauty advice from a Victoria's Secret model more or less serious, or it doesn't matter if the woman is a model or not. If she has a great figure, good skin, and has great hair and makeup, then she obviously knows a thing or five, so she'd have some great advice and tips.

I'll share my thoughts later in comments as I have several. But first, I'd like to get your fresh opinions. One thing I will say is that just once I would LOVE, LOVE to hear a model or actress say, "Well, my first beauty secret is that I am genetically blessed." Seriously, that kind of honest acknowledgement would be so refreshing.

What if you were Editor-in-Chief of a major women's magazine?

 
I'd love too see a reality show where the winner gets the opportunity to be Editor-in-Chief (EIC) for one issue of a major women's magazine like Glamour, Vogue, Lucky, or Marie Claire.

For fun and because frankly I'm so tired of looking at the same old headlines, I took Marie Claire's new January 09 cover and played EIC. I didn't change all the headlines just 3, but see how the cover has a more uplifting tone yet it still has high marketing appeal. You can have a nice balance between "pretty stuff" and soulful.

The next thing I'd do is replace Jessica Simpson with someone like Natalie Portman, Kate Winslet, or Cindy Crawford. Cindy hasn't been on a cover in ages but I'd love to see her back. Of the supermodels of yonder years, I always admired Cindy for having high standards and becoming a business woman as well as using her celebrity for some good. She's also made aging something to embrace instead of to dread.

So what would you do if you got to be Editor-in-Chief for one issue?

Nibbling on Something Light, Noshy, and Everyday

We got some BISJ housekeeping news, and then let me introduce you to something blog noshy and everyday I cooked up.

Hello holidays and experiments

I gave Back in Skinny Jeans a spiffy red holiday outfit, and yes, finally, I added a search box here at the top. Editorial wise, for the next 30-60 days, I’m going to do a bit more shorter posts and keep it lighter yet still valuable. I will also be linking more to other healthy living bloggers. You’re also going to see a bit more of gift and shopping ideas because I want to experiment with selling stuff on this blog, and the holidays is a perfect time to do that kind of experimentation.

Now, I will be sensitive to the fact that you all enjoy less sales type stuff here, but the motivation for me to experiment with the selling of stuff is because I need new income streams to keep this blog alive. Advertising alone is not enough because as you’ve heard on the news purse strings are tightening up around the big brands. I’m not entirely worried. Adversity just means that you need to get creative and re-strategize.

Which leads me to two more new strategies; noshy and everyday, I’m going to experiment with because from a business perspective I need to focus my energy on things that will produce better financial return for the amount of effort I am putting in. Because of the financial crisis going on in our country, I, and you who blog for a living, as business people need/must re-adjust and find new strategies that will work under these new circumstances. Instead of being afraid, I’m going to jump into the unknown and see what I can find, and of course I will share that journey with all of you. So for the immediate next 30-60 days, this is also what I’m going to try:

Noshy

Because I’m going to lighten up on doing the long heavy posts on BISJ for a bit, it will free me up to focus some more time on Noshtopia and a new blog which those of you who blog will be excited about, but more on that a little later because I need to share some new chow with you...

Better Than Nothin': Showing Up is Half the Battle

Better Than Nothin' Tuesdays is the day when we give you kudos for making the tiniest of changes and actions towards achieving your healthy living goals. No need to go cold turkey or exercise for hours on end. Even if you just do one more minute of cardio or just smoke one less cigarette, it's moving towards your goals and is better than doing zero.

Here's something very important to remember, just showing up, you've won half the battle. Here's a quick video to remind you why. (:55 sec)

iJoy that Turkey After Glow

Hello my sweeties! Still recovering from the Thanksgiving partaking? Well, no worries, it's a brand new week, and a whole new opportunity to get back on the balanced track.

Just a quick note, I'm feverishly working on some new stuff for you all and was hoping to get it done for today, but alas like a Thanksgiving dinner, my eyes were much bigger than my stomach. So, tomorrow it will be.

In the meantime, if you've been looking for a white elephant exercise gift, I think this iJoy "Effortles Exercise" Ride fits the bill. It's supposed to work the core, but this man looks waaaay too happy just working his abs. Perhaps it's all that yawing they speak of. By the motion of the iJoy, I'm thinking he's enjoying something else. Please to use your imagination :)

Update: If you're at work, you don't need sound to get the humor in the video. Just look at the guy's face. In fact, it's probably funnier without the sound.