The GOOPiness empire may be expanding. If rumor holds true, Gwyneth Paltrow and her personal trainer Tracy Anderson - who also trains Madonna, are looking to open up a chain of gyms across Europe, Asia and Australia. Tracy already has gyms in LA and New York which you would expect of any trainer to the elite and stars, or those who can afford it well just because they can. {Yes, there is a whiff of smugness there}
Most of us are trying to just stay afloat, and one thing that many people have cut off their budgets is gym memberships even at inexpensive places like 24 Hour. The outdoors, exercise shows on Cable, books and hey even club dancing are looking mighty good these days.
So, what makes Gwyneth think that her gym would thrive in this struggling economy because you know this is going to be some swank place with a waterfall with the scent of water lillies to greet you as you enter the GOOP hive? I can imagine the fresh faced, slim, and limber employees with names like Chantal and Verde to be dressed in organic sustainable made linen capris and scoopneck tees with "Namaste" printed in the center where the 3rd chakra lies.
And indeed, the gym itself would be built with nothing but green friendly materials, with artwork from a 79-year-old painter from a quaint French village hanging from the Terra cotta shaded walls. And if not artwork, you'd see zen sayings scribed on the walls in luminescent flowing colors like, "There is nothing you can see that is not a flower," so that, when you look in the mirror at that muffin top you gained over the holidays, there is no room for negativity. No, not here at 24 Hour GOOP.
Anyone up for some haughty hamstring stretches?
How about some supercilious squats?
Up for some lofty leg presses?
Ah yes indeed Gywnnie. I feel the oneness of the inner aspect. May I have a sip of some refreshing Yerba Mate now.
Okay, I jest, but stuff like this is parody in the making. A blogger cannot help herself. Of course who wouldn't want to go to a heavenly gym like this, but really, is now the time Gwyneth dear when so many of us are just trying to pay off credit cards, keep our homes, and stay employed?
Does some celeb have her head in the clouds a bit too much or am I just a spoofing opportunist who has to do crunches and planks watching the free 10 minute fitness clips on Comcast?
