Back in skinny jeans

That I would be good

That I would be good
by Alanis Morissette
Album: Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
Buy at iTunes

Alanis Morissette is one of those songwriters whose lyrics always articulate into song some part of my life that I cannot. "That I would be good" is one of those songs that hit me at the core because she sings about something that I have struggled with my whole life, feeling good enough just as I am. Feeling good enough because I am beautiful as I am. Feeling worthy enough for the love of a special man just because I am me. Feeling good enough that I do have unique and special talents that others would appreciate.

Many women, I know, feel like this. Not feeling good enough is a compulsion that makes many of us ache, depressed, and desperate. This is especially true when it comes to our physical appearance, and that is why we obsess about fixing what isn't "good", so that we could be good. What Alanis is saying in her song is that we are good regardless.

Some lines in the song that grab me:

that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be good whether with or without you

There was a time a few years ago where I would just drive for hours and sing songs. That I would be good was one of those songs I would sing as loud as I could, and then cry as hard as I could. It was car therapy, and it helped me get through a rough time in my life.

Bowflex gives good examples

Remember the 50 year old grandma that Bowflex got to flaunt their product? That woman was HOT. Forget that she was 50, she was smokin' with a HOT body, not too skinny, and you could see the muscles. After seeing that commercial, I practically had my fingers on the phone to order me up some of that hotness. Realistically, I know that just working out on a Bowflex product won't make me look like the GILF, but the fantasy that Bowflex was selling was Jedi mind trick powerful. For days, I asked people if they had seen that Bowflex commercial, and everyone who did had the same reaction I did. We all got sucked into the Bowflex fantasy hook line and sinker.

Every Bowflex commercial I have seen has featured a female model who is slim yet very muscular, and not too buff. The Bowflex ladies are also attractive but they look realistic, and someone you might know like an aerobics teacher, a trainer, or a fitness consultant. The muscles are sexy, and it's a good message to send out.

Muscle weighs more than fat, but it burns 9x the calories, and it takes up less space, so it does not expand the body inches like the equal poundage of fat does. The muscle also gives you curves that starvation and deprivation never can. It would be wonderful if we could see more runway models with more muscle instead of more bones.

Working with a 300 pound gorilla

Katie on her blog, Eat4Today, wrote a post called "Working with a 300 pound gorilla," which was in reference to a comment I made on one of her other posts about procrastination. My comment read:

"Glanced at the Hacker’s Diet real quickly, and intended to dive in later. But reading this post today, the procrastination, I realized, is related to me struggling with the commitment (dropping weight). My left brain knows what I need to do. THE LB is always a team player. That is never the issue. It’s the emotions. The emotions are like a 300 pound gorilla next to a 130 pound logical girl. The gorilla starts throwing her weight around and then I’m whacked. How do I get the gorilla to be a team player?"

Katie brought out this question to the forefront because it is a common issue that many people experience in their weight dropping programs. Her suggestion was that instead of imagining my emotions as a 300 pound gorilla, I imagine her as a toddler someone much smaller than myself. This way I feel bigger. She is right in that we are always the boss in our lives, and that we are the ones ultimately in charge. I let the gorilla push me around almost always when it comes to weight management. If the gorilla wants a McDonald's Big Mac, and I don't give it to her, she will go on a rampage until ultimately, I give in. I always give in to the gorilla because she's bigger, meaner, and physically stronger than me.

I did like the toddler idea, however, as I started to write my comment, thoughts started to flooded my brain. Katie was giving me the idea to physically change the gorilla into something smaller like a toddler. Then it dawned on me. Instead of changing my emotions into something else, why not just let it be who it is, and change myself instead. Goes to that lesson that we can never change other people, but we can always change ourselves.

So, I decided to leave the emotions a gorilla and turn myself into a 50 ft woman. Now, I am literally the bigger one, and the gorilla now looks like a pet next to me. If she gets out of control, I can literally pick her up by the collar and tell her to behave. What's she going to do that I can't stomp on? My size now humbles her. As well, symbolically, it shows that I am literally growing out of my debilatating pattern. I am choosing to be a bigger person, and choosing to live a bigger life literally. Makes me feel empowered.

My roommates and I, in college, had this Attack of the 50ft woman poster hanging in our livingroom. We got it because it reminded us of how powerful a woman could be. Who's going to mess with ANYONE 50 ft tall?

It's a good technique to use too when you're one of the few women in an all male field like tech, Wall street, law firms etc. I know that there are times when the guys make me feel small, or namely I let them make me feel small. But if you're in the same pickle, why not picture yourself as 50 ft tall and see just how scary those guys seem now. Not very scary anymore, busters. And heaven forbid, can you imagine what would happen if they angered the 50ft woman. Wow! Ain't that an awesome thought.

Author drops 120 pounds

My friend Camy, who has just earned her first book writing contract (yeah!), has on her blog, Camy's Loft, an author interview with Allison Bottke about Allison's new book, A Stitch in Time. Back in Skinny Jeans readers will find this book topic, and the interview with Allison interesting because Allison dropped 120 pounds going from 280 to 160 after having gastric bypass surgery. She tells her story. There are before and after pics in Camy's post. She looks fabulous!

As well, the main character, Dee Decker, in A Stitch in Time, a fictional story, goes through enormous changes in her life. In the course of one year Dee Decker:

. . . has gastric bypass surgery and loses 150 pounds
. . . has plastic surgery
. . . separates from her husband
. . . buys a whole new wardrobe
. . . flourishes in her glamorous fundraiser job
. . . and becomes a Christian.

The interview is fabulous. Go to Camy's blog and read the interview. While there, you can also enter a contest to win a copy of A Stitch in Time. Enjoy!

Hanging out with the ginormously rich

My BFF took a "because I feel like it" day off yesterday, and we had lunch in downtown Palo Alto on University Avenue. For those of you not familiar with the Bay Area, the University related to this street is Stanford. I always enunciate with my smuggest voice, Staaaan-fooord. Yes, the famous Stanford where Chelsea Clinton, Reese Witherspoon (for a brief moment) and Tiger Woods (ditto Reese) attended.

Near University Avenue is also Sand Hill Road, which if you ever start your own tech company and need venture capital money, is the place where all the BIG VCs have offices. The offices on SH Road control more mullah than the GNP of many countries. So basically, everyone who hangs out on University is ginormously rich, the kid of someone ginormously rich, the wife/girlfriend of someone ginormously rich, or the next co-founders of a future ginormously rich start-up like Yahoo and Google.

Don't get me wrong, although I snark at the ginormously rich people at times, I really do love 'em cause I hope to be ginormously rich one day myself. It's the capitalistic American dream, and Silicon Valley is one of the meccas of that dream. I figure the longer I hang out where the ginormously rich hang out all that mojo will seep into my being. For now, we pretend like we are already there.

We ate lunch at a sushi restaurant and then took a stroll down the Ave in order to gaze, oogle, and of course, burn some calories. It was gorgeous today, about 70 degrees with gorgeous Russell Crowe blue (eyes) sky. The thing about University avenue I do like is that although you know almost everyone there is loaded, most people "look" like everyday folks. The richies here tend to dress down more than up say like in LA, NY, or Miami. The reason for this is that Silicon Valley is flooded with geeks, and geeks are not fashionable AT ALL. Smart when it comes to all that tech stuff, but completely illiterate when it comes to fashion. If you do see a stylish geek, his wife/girlfriend is dressing him or he is gay. For the most part, the female geeks do better on their own because, let's face it, women are always born with more style genes than guys.

Anyway, we ended up chatting at a new dessert place that was absolutely scrumptous. ALL the desserts in the glass casings looked like little pieces of art. The place is called Satura Cakes and it was simply divine. If you are in the area or are coming to visit the Bay Area this summer, you must absolutely check this place out. MUST! I had a slice of the Caramelized Banana tart, and my mouth was in heaven. Gurl, living large sure is yummy!

I remember when size 6 was small

I saw a Nutrisystem commercial the other night, and there on the screen was this woman, about mid-late 30's, twirling around with glee, "I'm now a size 2, and I LOVE it!"

I'm checking her out, and I'm happy that she is happy. But, then the thought popped into the forefront of my consciousness, this lady is estatic because she's down to a size 2. In the Victoria's Secret size chart, their size 2, XS, is a 24.5" waist with 35" hips. A size 0, XXS, is a 23.5" waist with 34" hips. So people, this is WAY off from the average American woman who is a size 14, L, which in the VS size chart is a 31.5" waist with 42" hips. I use the Victoria's Secret catalog as a guide in this example because many of us wish we could look as luscious as these brassiere swooning babes.

I remember not too long ago watching the same kind of commercial, and the woman was ecstatic that she was a size 6. Even then, I thought a size 6 was small. Now the diet programs are plastering size 2 women as their "success" stories. When does it stop? Is the next "success" size in the negative numbers like a -2, one size below a 0. How about: "Wowie, I'm one buck and a spit, and I couldn't be more thrilled!"

I know the diet companies have to be aggressive in their promotion efforts to get new clientele because there are literally thousands of choices for consumers. But really, what is the smallest size are you going to go? In this scenario, the race for the diet companies to get richer is resulting in us feeling insecure and more desperate every day.

Everyone needs a helping hand

This is a picture I took of one of my BFFs with her baby girl (5 months old). I love this picture because it reminds me that no matter how old we get, there will always be someone with "bigger" hands to help mentor, guide, and advise us in this journey called life.

I've pretty much gotten over being canned, and have moved straight into launching my own business. I tried starting a business before the full-time job, and failed, which is why I had to get the full-time job in the first place. I believe the day job experience was more for me to "see" that I really do know enough to launch and grow my own venture.

So, one "big" hand that I have honestly started to utilize more is God's. To some this is hokey. To others it's "about time!" I do believe that when you are on purpose and want to do things that help better humanity and the planet, God will lend a huge old hand, along with many others on the planet. Many synchronicities have been happening to me lately, and there are so many that it just cannot be a coincidence. I'm good with that cause right now I'll take all the "big" hand help I can get. Thank you God!

Skinny jeans (the style) vs. Skinny jeans (the size)

This explanation is more for the men than it is for the women because the skinny jeans style is coming into fashion, so it is creating some confusion for those not in the know. Matt for one was confused. During channel surfing, he noticed stories about skinny jeans, and how all the hot celebs are wearing them. He pointed out, “Hey hon, they are talking about your skinny jeans blog stuff on TV. Come see.” Rewinding on Tivo, I saw a stylist talking about the new fashion trend. I tried to explain to Matt, but he just tilted his head with a confused, “Ugh!”

Skinny jeans, the style, are a cut of jeans like saying bell-bottoms, straight leg, or relaxed. The skinny jeans style is pencil leg where the jean from top to foot hugs your leg. To look good in this style of jean, you really do need to be skinny. Although some argue that the skinny jeans style is like denim leggings. Throw an oversized sweater or sweatshirt over, and you’re Flashdanced. Over at Coquette, there is a fabulous synopsis of the skinny jeans style.

Here at Back in skinny jeans the blog, we are talking about the “concept” of skinny jeans which are the jeans (or pants) you wore when you were you’re thinnest and hottest. Your skinny jeans, probably sitting in the dark recesses of your closet, represent a magical time in your life, and you cannot let go of these jeans because the dream of thinness and magic still lives on.

Picture: Levis Skinny 545 Capri

Top 10 signs you have blogger butt

Notice more junk in your trunk? Blogging has been wonderful in satisfying your creative soul. However, all that typing and sitting has taken its toll on your tooshie. You know you have blogger butt when…

• You go to a gym to sign-up and are appalled to discover that there are no FREE options. You retort, “But everything is free in the Internet."

• You photoshop your face onto the picture of somebody else who already has a six pack and buns of steel.

• You are shocked to learn that a TechCrunch is not a form of Ab Crunch.

• Your guilt keeps telling you to go workout, and you wish you could turn off the comments.

• You use tan in a can not realizing that it makes you look like an Oompa Loompa.

• You have created dozens of “workout” playlists for your mp3 player, but listen to them more at your desk instead of during an actual workout.

• You write a book with the word “naked” in the title, and it’s about blogs. Where’s the sex?

• You talk to your non-blogger friends and family about blog feed, and they ask you if carbs are bad in that diet as well.

• You have created online identities that are “fit and fun”

• You tell people that Tom from MySpace is your workout partner..

Is your heart in your job?

Part of the skinny jeans magical life is having the perfect job/career. Back in college, I used to daydream about being a fashion designer, a TV anchor, a movie director, a chef, an architect, and a pilot. Yes, I was ambitious with all my dream careers, but the beauty of dreams is that you can do everything, so why not indulge. The commonality in all my daydreams was an element of bliss. I always pictured myself not only with a huge smile on my face but with a glow like that glow women get when they are in love or pregnant.

When I think back on my career, I have had jobs, many in fact, where I was really happy for a time but never blissful. I have met people who have been blissful in their work. You know it immediately because you see it in their eyes, and yes, they too have the glow. I also know that when I wasn't happy at work, I would eat more. I'm an emotional eater, so when I'm sad, depressed, bored, or scared, I eat. I used to wonder if there is a correlation with weight and level of happiness on the job. The same people who were blissful in their work, I noticed, were also slim or healthy size.

I fess up and admit that my heart was not with me in that job I got canned from the other day. Really, they did both of us a favor. The people were very nice to me, and on a personal level I really liked all of them, and would hang out with them at a barbecue. To be honest, I think the lack of heart thing is due to the fact that I have been in corporate marketing for well over a decade now, and there is no more room to grow and learn because I do not want to be a VP or Chief Marketing Officer in a corpse-oration. Frankly, I do not want to be an "employee" any more to work for a paycheck. I want to be an owner, and I know that that is where the new doors are open for me. If your heart is not in your job, where would it be? Maybe it's time to listen to your heart, and make things happen.